So many child haters here

[Sabrinasummersamples]

So many threads on here seem to attract the same sort of answer along the lines of
-In my day we'd have got a smack. Never did me any harm. Give em a clip round the ear.
-kids today are entitled shrieky brats
-kids should stand for adults
-kids shouldn't be allowed in restaurants

Yet often those same posters are the first to call "agism" when people disagree.
Why do so many people hold such contempt for kids?
I mean I know kids can be annoying but honestly you could say that about any group of people. Plus we were all kids once 🤷

They could just be being polite, and grinning and bearing it in real life. The freedom of an anonymous MB is that you can say what you really think

True. I’d never tell my friends how unbearable I find their whiny, demanding, disobedient, destructive children. I’d never tell them how irritating I find it when they butt in to adult conversations and are immediately pandered to. I’d never tell them how how angry it makes me when they fuck about on my farm and don’t listen to clear instructions (when they get kicked in the head by a spooked horse or flattened by startled cows with calves or overcome in a slurry pit it’ll no doubt be my fault).

But I will tell Mumsnet. I’m under no illusion it’s the fault of the parents, but they’ve created children I have absolutely no interest in being around.

@Hibiscrubbed Are the children wandering the farm unaccompanied/going into fields with animals? Farms can be quite dangerous and you would be entitled to tell your friends the children cannot go anywhere without adult supervision. Or are they with adults but mingling with the cows while their parents watch? I don't know what your responsibilities are as the farm owner, but I'd be very careful to avoid any chance of accidents if I were you. Small children really don't understand the hazards of machinery and livestock.

Yes. I am aware. Hence my irritation…

These are not small children. These are 10-12 year old children. These are children who, when we were all standing at a fence admiring a fresh foal that had been born, one went to climb through the fence without warning. I shouted loudly to stop, they looked at me, smirked, and ran into the field to get to the foal. The mare went bananas. The parents did some ineffective gentle calling and beckoning of said child shitbag and then started to panic and get high pitched. It was absolute chaos.

I have said, until I’m blue in the face, that they are not to be unaccompanied in the yard, around the machinery, and anywhere near the pit. I have told their parents this, how dangerous it is, but they are total indulgent drips ruled by these kids. I won’t have them here anymore. I cannot stand it. It’s a shame. They’re old friends. They never used to be like this.

If they’re actually in my house, they repeatedly break my small kid’s toys and once threw a lovely Loaf mug at a wall in anger at being told no.

I know these kids are the product of duff parenting, but it has produced hideous little people that I won’t be around. And to think I was producing a pony for the Eldest little madam to show. Nope. On your bike, sunshine.

@Hibiscrubbed The parents sound very foolish to allow their children to take such risks. I'm glad they are not coming to your farm as I think the risk is too great, and that's not fair on you. I do know a fair few sensible 12 year olds, but I wouldn't let them wander unaccompanied around a farm, unless they had grown up there maybe! Even sensible kids might come a cropper. I don't know what is going on with your friends' children but it does sound like they have some issues.

😂Ah if only it was!

Went to a ‘luxury’ spa yesterday for a ‘relaxing’ day. May as well have been at local leisure centre. Kids running about, screaming, splashing in the pools (parents blissfully ignoring signs that children shouldn’t be in one of the pools). Felt like I’d been robbed as had paid nearly £300 for the day. How is a spa the right place to take young children???

@Rainyday35 it wasn’t Feversham Arms in Yorkshire was it?

People on this site hate kids, dogs, old people, young women, men but hate when the stereotypes get brought up against them.

Nobody here makes the laws but think they can go around harrassing others who are living their lives

It's not 'child hating' to express dislike/displeasure over misbehaving children. The problem is that some parents with misbehaving children often don't think their children are misbehaving. They think they're 'cute', 'free spirited', or 'independent'. Likewise parents who think their children are entitled to special treatment. Treat your little darling like a prince(ss) in your own home, just don't do it in someone else's or expect anyone else to treat them that way.

There is nothing more sweet and engaging than a well-behaved child. Nothing worse than a brat. And by 'well-behaved' I don't mean 'seen but not heard'. I'm just talking basic good manners and behaviour age-appropriate to the situation. 'Rambunctious' playing and running outside, in the garden, or in a park, fine. In a restaurant, church, public venue, someone else's home, not so fine. Loud talking, even occasional shouting during play, fine. Continual shrieking or screaming, not fine.

I think many do understand they can be well brought up but what they see is a lot of not well brought up kids and parents not parenting. It is easy to tell them apart.

Agree with you OP.

If they're not banging on about badly behaved kids it's all about how kids aren't resilient enough. Or are too fat!

Thankfully I don't hear people in real life talk like this.

@Yellowlegobrick what a disgusting comment. Blaming people without children for not tolerating badly-behaving kids and being selfish. Are you aware that parents can't stand others' children or that parents abuse their own children? What makes you so special to think that your level of tolerance and selflessness is above others? You are a joke.

I don't know anyone in real life who hates children like some seem to on mumsnet. And I find it quite bizarre.

Same with dogs
And toilet brushes

Toilet brushes?? 😂

Very little so called 'hatred' of children is anything to do with 'ageism' directed at them, or indeed anything to do with the child themselves.
People in the main do recognise that children aren't capable of some of the socially preferred behaviours.
The frustration is almost entirely directed at their parents. Parents who for their own convenience insist on placing their children in inappropriate situations, without a care for the impact on other adults, because what they (the parent) wants comes first. Misbehaving children are often bored miserable children. And while some situations not geared to them are unavoidable, many such as long resturant dinners or spa hotels are just parents putting their interests first. If this is their choice, then there is a responsibility on them to minimise the effect on others, not others to tolerate their experience being spoiled by inappropriate behaviour.
'Child hate' is largely a myth. People who don't have a particular fondness for children are usually happy to go about their lives ignoring them, avoiding child focused locations etc.
When parents make that impossible and don't manage behaviour, people get frustrated, but they don't hate your child.
That's just a smokescreen you're blowing up to put them in the wrong, rather than examining your own choices and behaviours and whether the criticism directed at YOU may be justified.

Wel no. Because the thread is about how people talk about kids on mumsnet. Calling them entitled little brats or saying they should be seen and not heard, or they should stand for adults on the bus and the like. Not about people reacting in real life.

I like kids,would be a sad state of affairs if I didn't, as I'm.a teacher but there are certain areas that I don't want to be overrun with kids. If I go to a restaurant I am.paying for the food and the experience so I don't want shrieking kids or parents divorcing themselves of all parental responsibility. If I ho to McDonalds, the park, a soft ball play area etc I expect there to be lots of kids there. I do agree that the issue is the parents. Kids should sometimes be told,this is not always about u. If this puts me in the label of hater oh well.

Absolutely. I also don’t recognise a lot of the behaviour described on here. There are little beggars everywhere and some really badly behaved kids whose parents don’t parent (secondary teacher in tough school so I’m very used to it with teens) but it’s certainly not the majority. It’s usually one child ruining it for all the others. I have to say, though, all these complaints about restaurants I just don’t recognise; I eat out a lot, both with and without my children and I don’t think I’ve ever seen children running amok - do you think these people are just eating in cafes attached to a soft play?!

Wow I wish I hadn’t looked at this thread… how depressing many peoples views are. Glad my kids are teens and almost adults.

You've nailed it. I often see families and look at the children thinking 'you don't stand a chance' 😕

That children should be seen and not heard is such a minority view these days, it hardly constitutes a trend, does it? You may have read that a handful of times at worst.
Believing some children are 'entitled brats' is quite clearly a criticism of parenting. People are not typically born entitled, it's learned behaviour. So if people are observing that, they are criticising the parenting that led to it.

😂 this made my morning

Did you dislike kids when yours were kids?

Most kids??? Seriously? You are exactly the sort of person the OP is referring to. Most kids are exactly the same as most kids have always been. And there have always been little shit kids through bad parenting. I remember terra ways back in the 70s. Without fail those that hold your view are also the one's determined to believe that the young have it easier now and that if they didn't buy avocados and coffees they too could buy a house. Even though every single economic rubric states that it is harder by multiples now than when we were young.

I've been a primary teacher for over 10 years and worked with teenagers prior to this.

In my experience, most kids are lovely and reasonably behaved. In all my time teaching, I've taught 1 child who I would describe as 'out-of-control' (severe behavioural issues). Maybe I've just been lucky? However, I have noticed an increasing lack of boundaries between children and adults. Children feel free to question adults in the classroom/ comment on their decisions/ complain they don't like where they're sitting/ complain they don't want to do xyz- this seems to be more common. Then again, whether this is a good or bad thing is a matter of opinion. Some think it's rude, others think it's good children don't just defer and can express themselves. I don't remember so much of this in my day (I'm in my thirties), but maybe my memory is a bit selective. Rose-tinted glasses and all that...

The majority of parents are lovely and have always supported me. You do get those who phone in if their child is 'told off', but normally, they just want to hear the full story from me to make sure they've got the facts right and the child has relayed events accurately.

Then again, I don't have my own kids due to infertility. So maybe I have a skewed view of things or am just selfish, as some posters have suggested...