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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD 14 year old going to cinema alone?

116 replies

MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:05

DS is 14. Quite independent. Wants to see a film on Saturday - starting around 6pm and finishing around 8pm. None of his friends are interested in it. I’ve offered to go but he knows it’s not something I’m interested in either, and he says it would spoil it for him me being there just to babysit. He wants to go on his own. He would need me to drop him off and pick him up, and I could either stay local or drive home (20 minutes).
It’s a cinema in an edge-of-town shopping centre. Quiet cinema, seems to be a safe area.
Would you let him go?
YABU - let him go, he’ll be fine
YANBU - he’s too young to go on his own

OP posts:
Iguessyourestuckwithme · 10/08/2023 12:06

Let him go

Issuefroth · 10/08/2023 12:06

I went with sibling when we were both in primary school. He will be fine.

sonjadog · 10/08/2023 12:07

What are you worried about? This wouldn’t bother me at all.

AndTheSurveySays · 10/08/2023 12:08

What on earth do you think might happen to him while he's sitting in a cinema watching a film?

Let him go. I honestly can't believe how babied teenagers are.

GolgafrinchamB · 10/08/2023 12:08

Mine were doing that from 12 - what do you think is risky about this?

TokyoSushi · 10/08/2023 12:08

Absolutely fine!

Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:08

sonjadog · 10/08/2023 12:07

What are you worried about? This wouldn’t bother me at all.

I’m not sure really. And bizarrely I’d feel happier with a day time showing, but there isn’t one that fits with our plans. I’m not definitely opposed to it, and I haven’t said no, but I feel slightly uneasy.

OP posts:
Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:09

He’s been plenty of time with just friends, but never on his own.

OP posts:
orangegato · 10/08/2023 12:09

14 not 4 ffs. I was going at 12.

Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:09

GolgafrinchamB · 10/08/2023 12:08

Mine were doing that from 12 - what do you think is risky about this?

Individually, on their own, without siblings or friends?

OP posts:
Alargeoneplease89 · 10/08/2023 12:09

Yes I would let him go and I'm very overprotective. As long as he's not walking through a rough town centre late at night (which it sounds like it isn't).

Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:10

orangegato · 10/08/2023 12:09

14 not 4 ffs. I was going at 12.

Sorry if my post has made your angry, that wasn’t my intention

OP posts:
Baconking · 10/08/2023 12:10

MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:09

Individually, on their own, without siblings or friends?

Show quote history

What difference does it make? He's just sitting, watching a film

Alargeoneplease89 · 10/08/2023 12:11

orangegato · 10/08/2023 12:09

14 not 4 ffs. I was going at 12.

No need to be rude and times have changed 🙄

Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:11

Baconking · 10/08/2023 12:10

What difference does it make? He's just sitting, watching a film

Show quote history

Because I assume that any nasty people who might want to approach a child for whatever reason are less likely to do it if the child isn’t alone

OP posts:
lifeturnsonadime · 10/08/2023 12:12

my daughter 14 goes to the cinema on her own loads.

I tend to either go for a coffee or go shopping while she's in.

I'm thinking of buying her a pass as she loves to see anything she can (age appropriate).

The first time the guy let me go in with her to find a seat then leave but that was a couple of years ago. At 14 your son should manage fine.

Echobelly · 10/08/2023 12:12

He needs to start doing stuff alone and in this case any 'risks' are very much under control.

FWIW, my oldest, recently turned 15, has in the last year been to West End theatre shows a couple of time and come back with a friend or alone and walked from tube to our house at 10-11pm. My feeling is the West End will be busy, the tube will be busy and there are plenty of people about on the short walk between the tube and our house. Won't pretend I don't feel a little nervous until they are back, but the it's important they can handle themselves independently - they'll be at uni in 3 years' time after all.

sonjadog · 10/08/2023 12:12

Would you go to the cinema on your own or is it something you would be uncomfortable with and you are transferring that to him? In which case, it is just a matter of having different personal preferences. Otherwise, I think it is hard to understand what would make you uneasy.

Devilsmommy · 10/08/2023 12:12

Is he a younger 14 or more mature one as I could see being anxious if he wasn't as mature as some. You're not being silly btw, you're a mom and every mom has worries about loads of things

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 10/08/2023 12:13

This made me giggle because I remember watching Speed in the cinema at 14 and giving my boyfriend a hand job.

I'm sure he'll be fine.

Original poster
MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:14

sonjadog · 10/08/2023 12:12

Would you go to the cinema on your own or is it something you would be uncomfortable with and you are transferring that to him? In which case, it is just a matter of having different personal preferences. Otherwise, I think it is hard to understand what would make you uneasy.

Yes that’s a good point, I’ve never been someone who’d go to the cinema or out for a meal on their own. Not out of fear, more out of a sense that I wouldn’t enjoy it by myself.
That said, I was raped in the street by a stranger at age 16 early one morning, which might make me more nervous, although I realise this is a totally different situation.

OP posts:
BCBird · 10/08/2023 12:14

I would encourage him.to go. Think I would taje a book and go for a coffee.

GingerIsBest · 10/08/2023 12:15

yeah, I wouldn't think twice about this, especially if you're able to drop him and collect him - because the real risk time is when he's coming out at the end of the movie and if you're there to collect him, no problem.

@lifeturnsonadime DH is a huge movie fan and pre DC he had one of those passes. He absolutely loved it and it was worth every penny. Now the DC are a bit older, I'v been thinking of getting him one for Christmas this year as he often doesn't go to movies as he hates the huge expense but with the DC in school and him working mostly mornings, he could sneak in a lunch time movie sometimes with a pass!

sonjadog · 10/08/2023 12:15

If it a safety thing, at 14 he needs to be given more freedom as in a few years he will be grown and out and about at night. As worrying as it is as a Mother, letting go and giving more freedom is really important.

Soubriquet · 10/08/2023 12:16

Let him go. It’s perfectly fine. There will be security cameras around anyway