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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD 14 year old going to cinema alone?

116 replies

MumblesParty · 10/08/2023 12:05

DS is 14. Quite independent. Wants to see a film on Saturday - starting around 6pm and finishing around 8pm. None of his friends are interested in it. I’ve offered to go but he knows it’s not something I’m interested in either, and he says it would spoil it for him me being there just to babysit. He wants to go on his own. He would need me to drop him off and pick him up, and I could either stay local or drive home (20 minutes).
It’s a cinema in an edge-of-town shopping centre. Quiet cinema, seems to be a safe area.
Would you let him go?
YABU - let him go, he’ll be fine
YANBU - he’s too young to go on his own

OP posts:
Slouching · 11/08/2023 09:40

Quite admirable that he's willing to go alone, most teens wouldn't be confident enough.

I understand your worries OP, but in this instance I really do think he'll be completely fine. I'm sure, at 14 he knows what to do if things took a dodgy turn and if for whatever reason he is uncomfortable let him know you are just a phone call away.

starfishmummy · 11/08/2023 10:04

Is it the sort of cinema with on line booking that includes a seating plan (like our local showcase)? I'd probably look to see if it's a busy screening where there will be lot of people for safety in numbers and also to book him a seat so you know he has got in and it isn't sold out.

I'm retired and just went on my own for the first time last month - DH wasn't well, so rather than lose all our money on the booking I went by myself. It was fine - thinking back to the films I missed out on as dh/friends didnt want to see them, wish I'd done it years ago!!

Original poster
MumblesParty · 12/08/2023 20:40

He went - all fine, ate popcorn, watched the film, and I picked him up afterwards.
So that’s another hurdle jumped and I’ll be OK about it next time.

OP posts:
sarah419 · 13/08/2023 08:05

i’d let him go into the screen alone but will stick around the cafe outside or something!

Luckyduc · 13/08/2023 13:20

Theres helicopter mum and then there's plane crash mum 😬.

Dropthedonkey · 13/08/2023 13:22

Well done Op, glad it all went well 👍

deets · 13/08/2023 13:45

He is mature enough to agree to your taking him and picking him up so let him go. Can understand your worries to a certain extent. Let him experiance adult hood

Serendipitoushedgehog · 13/08/2023 13:49

If you’re anxious (and it’s not for me to tell you whether you should be or not), book another film at the same time and meet him afterwards?

Jifmicroliquid · 13/08/2023 13:52

MumblesParty · 12/08/2023 20:40

He went - all fine, ate popcorn, watched the film, and I picked him up afterwards.
So that’s another hurdle jumped and I’ll be OK about it next time.

What a fabulously confident young man you are raising OP. So glad he enjoyed himself.

fartfacenotfatface · 13/08/2023 13:59

Absolutely fine. My 11 and 13 year olds have gone on their own (separately) before. I'd just make sure I was parked up to meet him when it finishes so he's not hanging round afterwards, although 8pm isn't late for a teen.

I would say most NT children would be fine to do this by age 10 (cinema allows unaccompanied children from age 8, but I think that's a bit young). The main thing I look out for is that a) I'm confident that they would know what to do in an emergency such as a fire alarm and b) that they would be ok to leave the screen and seek help from a member of staff if they felt uncomfortable for any reason.

nonheme · 13/08/2023 14:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Hummingbird89 · 13/08/2023 14:14

He is 14!! 😂 wow

FarmGirl78 · 13/08/2023 14:35

I think it's fantastic that he feels confident enough to go to the cinema alone. I think the majority of adults wouldn't do that as they'd feel conspicuous, lonely or just odd. You should encourage him with his strong sense of independence.

Blingstar · 13/08/2023 14:39

@MumblesParty really glad to read it went well. Good on him for being so confidently independent.

An old boyfriend of mine made out I was a weirdo for going to the cinema alone but you don't speak to anybody so why not?! You should try it yourself. It's really enjoyable.

Handbagger99 · 13/08/2023 14:42

Glad he had a nice time. Maybe you need to look at your overreaction? You were unreasonably anxious and that's not healthy. He's 14 and did something perfectly normal.

MrsMarzetti · 13/08/2023 14:48

Let him be 14, stop treating him like he is 4.

ImNotReallySpartacus · 13/08/2023 14:55

At 14 he should be able to make his own way there and back surely?

Zoda8 · 13/08/2023 15:01

MumblesParty · 12/08/2023 20:40

He went - all fine, ate popcorn, watched the film, and I picked him up afterwards.
So that’s another hurdle jumped and I’ll be OK about it next time.

😃

ihadamarveloustime · 13/08/2023 15:44

I don't understand why this is a question.

Handbagger99 · 13/08/2023 15:46

ihadamarveloustime · 13/08/2023 15:44

I don't understand why this is a question.

Because like many on MN, the OP is an anxious, over protective helicopter parent, who doesn't realise that's what they are.

LocoCocoa · 13/08/2023 16:03

Glad it went okay for him op, and I'm so very sorry to hear what happened to you, it's no surprise you may be more anxious.

Allyliz · 13/08/2023 16:30

He 14 for goodness sake not a baby...I started full time work when I was only 2 yrs older...why do you feel the need to be so overprotective?

Allyliz · 13/08/2023 16:35

Sorry didn't realise you'd had a horrible experience yourself...please don't let it project on to your son...he's doing what kids do...becoming independent. Good luck

Dropthedonkey · 13/08/2023 16:39

Handbagger99 · 13/08/2023 15:46

Because like many on MN, the OP is an anxious, over protective helicopter parent, who doesn't realise that's what they are.

Show quote history

RTFT

Original poster
MumblesParty · 13/08/2023 16:43

Handbagger99 · 13/08/2023 15:46

Because like many on MN, the OP is an anxious, over protective helicopter parent, who doesn't realise that's what they are.

Show quote history

@Handbagger99 why do you feel the need to be so nasty?

OP posts:
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