WWYD 14 year old going to cinema alone?

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DS is 14. Quite independent. Wants to see a film on Saturday - starting around 6pm and finishing around 8pm. None of his friends are interested in it. I’ve offered to go but he knows it’s not something I’m interested in either, and he says it would spoil it for him me being there just to babysit. He wants to go on his own. He would need me to drop him off and pick him up, and I could either stay local or drive home (20 minutes).
It’s a cinema in an edge-of-town shopping centre. Quiet cinema, seems to be a safe area.
Would you let him go?
YABU - let him go, he’ll be fine
YANBU - he’s too young to go on his own

I'd definitely encourage you to encourage him to do. Assuming he's reasonably street wise, it's great to take these initial steps of independence now, and in increments. I'm sure he has a mobile, knows how to use it, and how to exit stage left if any creep hits on him.

Yes, when it was something he wanted to see and no one else was interested. (The other one preferred company)

I grew up doing it myself.

By 14 they were all taking the bus in and out of town to go to the cinema or library or shopping without adults. With friends or alone as suited them. It’s good for them to have independence and resilience

Oh OP you poor thing. I'm so sorry.

Definitely let him go, it's not a big deal at all. I think (understandably) your own awful experience can skew your perception of safe and unsafe. He'll be fine and it will be good for him to be independent.

This made me laugh let's hope the OP's DS doesn't have that in mind.

I know times have changed but 14 is definitely old enough to go to the cinema alone. Is he allowed to take the bus on his own? Go to the shops on his own? Visit a friend's house on his own? At 14 he really should be.

What an awful trauma you went through as a teen in so sorry, no wonder you are acutely aware of stranger danger and want to protect your boy.

Re the cinema, even if he was with friends or you it's quite likely that he would do something alone like go off to the loo or to get popcorn. Anyone dodgy seeing him would probably expect he's doing that. I think he'll be fine there is cctv therexxx

He's 14, he's about 3 years past the age where he'd be fine going to the cinema by himself.

Oh just seen the OP's update, that definitely explains the anxiety. I am sorry that happened to you OP

If he was with a friend would they travel by themselves? It depends where you live as rurally there may be no options but 8pm is still light.

No need to be rude and times have changed

what has changed?

mobile phone tracking, kids getting lifts to and fro, video calling, all things that make this type of thing far far safer than 40 years ago

OP what a terrible thing you experienced at 16.
It is no wonder you are nervous, but he will be fine.

As others have said there are cameras everywhere.

I can’t imagine even questioning this with my Dd 14. Of course it’s fine.

As a pp says, they need these bits of independence in order to learn how to do things for themselves and be safe when they’re out in the world.

Presumably he’s been to the cinema with you or with mates before so he knows how it all works?

I’m so sorry to hear what happened to you when you were 16. That’s absolutely awful.

I can see how it would make you more cautious.

But as above I think it’s safer for kids if they do have these experiences of doing things alone.

I’d be quite proud of him actually.

OP, having read your update I can understand your anxiety. What happened to you was horrific.

However, please don't project your anxiety onto your son. You might find it beneficial to have some counselling regarding how your experience may impact your protectiveness towards your ds.

I'm sure he will be fine and have a lovely time.

OK thanks everyone - I’ll let him go. Always useful to get other perspectives. I have another DS who is nearly 18 but he’s never wanted to do anything on his own - very sociable, always wants to be with friends - so DS2 is throwing me curve balls all the time!!

I’m sorry for the trauma you experienced as a teen, and can see how that would inform your worries.

Times have indeed changed, and become a lot safer. With mobile phones you can be in contact, he can get in touch with you in seconds if he needs to.

Your son isn’t even needing to negotiate public transport, he’s merely sitting in a cinema. He will be absolutely fine.

Try to see it as a positive! Being independent and confident about doing things alone, and being happy with your own company, is actually a really valuable and useful trait. I would definitely encourage him to embrace doing things alone when he wants to do something his friends aren’t interested in.

My 14 year old often takes himself off to the pictures

So sorry about your horrible experience as a teenager. I'm sure that's behind your anxiety. It's understandable but don't let the excrement that did that affect 2 people's teenage years.

I think boys are less likely than girls to be too polite to move away from someone behaving inappropriately but perhaps you can talk it through with him if it would make you feel better. Early evening showing likely to be the busiest and therefore a better idea than a daytime showing anyway.

Sorry OP, missed your update about what happened to you, I can understand your worries. I will get my post deleted, it wasn’t meant to upset anyone.

So sorry what happened to you OP. That's awful.

But you can't let it colour what you let your DC do - sitting in a cinema surrounded by a load of other people is going to be pretty safe.

Does your DC do other things on his own - go to school, round to friends' houses, go to the shop, get the bus ...? If not, please reconsider the amount of freedom you give him.

You’re driving him there and picking him up so nowt to worry about.

Of course it’s fine!

Gosh, I missed your other post, so sorry about that and I can see how it can affect your views.