To feel that parents with older children shouldn't be using parent and child car parks?

[mickitee]

Several times since having my baby, I've been to car parks where all the parent and child spaces were full, and then struggled with her pushchair in a regular car space only to look over and see a family with older children (8+) getting into a car in one of the parenting child spaces.

Am I wrong to feel that these parks are designed for families with babies and younger children using pushchairs, or who actually need what's the extra space to be able to get their child in and out safely without risking damage to cars around them. If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents.

So, AIBU to feel annoyed about this?

How about my adhd/asd child who looks “normal” but everytime I park the car I risk the condition kicking in and her causing damage by throwing the door open. Am I allowed to use a p/c space?

These threads never go well OP. Everyone on MN feels entitled to use P+C because there's no legal enforcement/status.
But FWIW I agree that people with prams/pushchairs ought to take priority. Getting a pram between two parked cars in the rest of the car park can be really hard and sometimes means having to walk all the way around on roads as cars are reversing out and driving up and down, often resulting in a much longer journey.
Pulling the whole car seat out for a young baby with a travel system is almost impossible in a regular space.
The world would be better if people were less "well I need it because race to the bottom reason" and more "you look like you might need some help".
Get your hard hat on.

I like to think the best of people and assume they have decided they need the space.

Parent & child spaces are for up to 12yrs old in most places. If that's what they are advertised for then YABU.

The spaces are called parent and child not parent and baby. Anybody with a child is entitled to use them and most have signs saying a child is up to about 12 (round here anyway) I have a child with adhd and he would be hulk smashing everybody’s car doors if we didn’t use them. If there is none we park much further away but why should I not use them just because I don’t have a baby ? I have a child so therefore I will use parent and child spaces

I use them with my ten year old if I'm in a rush or it saves a massive walk.

I have in the past used a Parent and child space with my autistic son because he has a tendency to bolt and the likelihood of that happening is less in a parent and child space as they tend to be closer to the entry.

If wide spaces are required with a baby seat, and I can see then they are then they would be better positioned further away as it's not a mobility issue, as such.

The other thing people always miss on these threads is that disabled parking in a car park isn't legally enforceable either (the blue badge system is legally just for on-street parking) so disabled people should use the disabled parking.

I think that if these spaces were not so close to the door then there wouldn't be the clamour for them and then you would get those who genuinely need the extra space using them which would make much more sense. But as they are just provided as a goodwill gesture and marketing ploy for the supermarkets and are in no way a right or enforceable then you have this rubbish half system which just annoys everyone.

I really wish these spaces could be rebranded as for those who need a space closer to the shop and/or a wider space. There are an awful lot of people who need them more than a mother putting a baby in a pushchair.

My view is that they are provided as a sop to planners, there is no intention of ever enforcing the use of them, and given that people are allowed to drive SUVs and 4x4s without a separate driving test, no wonder anyone wants a bit of space from the next car when parking.

Car parks are not designed for SUVs, which only about 1% of those who have them need them.

@lifeturnsonadime yes I would 100% be happy if P+C spaces were always further away from the shop but with a safe route to the shop and with wider bays. That would solve a lot of the problems. Some supermarkets have started doing this which is great.

But I think that the bigger issue is wider/ bigger cars and spaces that aren't wide enough to fit in them.

Always thinks parent and child should be further away to put people that don't need them off.
Maybe have a few autistic bays near the door as they need a closer space for behavioural reasons

YABU. It's not all about you. We've all been there, pregnant, little kids, kids with SN and one day your kids will be bigger kids. Go about your busines, park where you can without being a dick and let other people worry about their choices, is my philosophy.

If there are plenty available I use them for my 11-yo. They are for up to 12 round here so why wouldn’t I? I’m not going to pass one by on the off chance that someone might come along after me and need it. They may not. If you need extra space and none are available then you might just need to park a bit further away from the door.

@Brendabigbaps - you should qualify for a blue badge and those spaces are generally more readily available.

OP - I definitely think the cut off should be before 18. Once a child can get in and out and do their own seatbelt then you don’t really need the extra space.

In the UK, by default, disabled people have first dibs on EVERY parking space - P&C included. But I actually think ablebbodied parents with babies shouldn’t need them because you can lift a baby (or two) and carry them safely into the car. It’s more for ND kids or toddlers who walk but might not have the ability to sense danger (or do as they’re told).

If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents
Surely it's up to the parents to decide what constitutes "capable".

I’ll use them as my children have asd/adhd and don’t safely walk across a car park.

Park at the back where there's more space?

Tough. I want to and I can.

I managed to go to the supermarket with my children before parent and child bays existed, even when carrying baby in a car seat. I wonder if parking bays were wider then or did we have smaller cars?

I’m not complaining about people who use the spaces, I probably would have done if only to be nearer the shops. I’m really just thinking about how parents managed years ago.

They're up to 12 here so I use them when with my 11 yo - but I know I shouldn't really!

I have 3 kids and a suv as I need a wheelchair and pram in my boot 🙃
I can’t fit my car into normal spaces and manage to get out my autistic toddler who has no sense of danger or my autistic 7 year old who darts as soon as the door is open. I need to be able to access both sides.
you can’t judge a child on their age as there may be other reasons why they need to park there.
I usually park in a disabled bay but if someone needs that more I will park in a p&c!

how about we stop judging and get on with our day 🤦🏼‍♀️