To feel that parents with older children shouldn't be using parent and child car parks?

[mickitee]

Several times since having my baby, I've been to car parks where all the parent and child spaces were full, and then struggled with her pushchair in a regular car space only to look over and see a family with older children (8+) getting into a car in one of the parenting child spaces.

Am I wrong to feel that these parks are designed for families with babies and younger children using pushchairs, or who actually need what's the extra space to be able to get their child in and out safely without risking damage to cars around them. If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents.

So, AIBU to feel annoyed about this?

There are two main (probably more) reasons for P&C parking.

First is to give more room for opening doors to load/unload young babies/toddlers into car seats/prams.

The second is to keep walking, possibly ND or excitable, children safe from moving cars.

If you are suggesting one group has preference over another the first is easily solved by parking towards the back of the car park. The latter it makes sense to more sense to be closer to the shop.

Either way they are courtesy spaces and not worth getting precious about.

Yep. Definitely seeing that now! I think a lot of people have assumed that I'm angry at anyone I see parking there without a pushchair without any room for nuance. I absolutely trust that people can make their own assessments about their needs. If children need those spaces then they are absolutely entitled to them, whether it's due to safety issues, ASD, or other hidden disabilities, then go forth. But if you're just using them because you fit the requirement of parent with child and don't actually need the space, why would you not leave it in case someone who comes along needs it?

I didn’t use them once my children were probably age 8 plus, certainly not once in primary. People here will say you’re being unreasonable as they probably use them when they shouldn’t.

Because it makes my life easier. It's easy to swing into. Easy to get to.

For a start, I have one now.

But - the law - the Equality Act 2010 - entitles me to a reasonable adjustment on the grounds of my disability.

I'm perfectly entitled to use them, and I will - especially since my BB doesn't confer entitlement to park in them either, and it's my right to a reasonable adjustment I am using to park in them with my BB as well.

I don't have a child with me, I myself need the space.

I have a bb and I had my head chewed off by a woman as I was parked in the P&C. I wasn’t well at all that day and the disabled spaces were too far to walk the few paces to the cash machine.

I unashamedly use them sometimes even if I don't have children with me - if the car park is very busy & there's a lack of spaces, even at the back end, as I need extra space to get out of my own car but would in no way qualify for a disabled badge. They aren't legal spots and I spent as much money on my groceries as the parent and child people do, the alternative is driving further to a different supermarket which makes no sense for anyone. I never ever park in disabled spots

Being a parent of a child isn't a protected characteristic under the Equality Act, being disabled is and that's the difference and why I can (and do) use those spaces.

If car park spaces were wider, it would be easier to use ordinary spaces. That’s not going to happen though, because it would mean fewer parking spaces. My kids were small before the advent of parent and child spaces. Cars were smaller then I guess.

You wouldn't know just by looking. If you had seen my teen DD holding my hand you would have thought she didn't have any issues, if I wasn't holding her hand she would have ran infront of a car. It would look to anybody a mother walking hand in hand with her daughter, you wouldn't be able to see the assistance by just looking.

I’m not sure if they are much wider than before but my local Asda have recently redone the car park with all spaces like this (still have separate disabled and P and C) which means as long as people can park in the lines getting in and out of the car is always easy

But surely with a standard booster seat, it’s irrelevant. A child that age with no disabilities doesn’t need help to get themselves out.

YABU. And I bet you carry on using the spaces when your kid is 8+

But surely with a standard booster seat, it’s irrelevant. A child that age with no disabilities doesn’t need help to get themselves out.

It might well be irrelevant and it might be irritating if you need a space. But if the stores allow all up to 12s to use it then there's nothing that can be done about it.

@Sirzy
Our Sainsbury's has these markings and you can easily open car doors to get children out.

I have often moaned about people who park in the P&C spaces with, clearly no children, just so that they can use the cash point which is next to them.
I once mentioned this on here some years ago and got blasted. Apparently these P&C spaces are for anyone who needs it (?) and maybe the adult has mental health issues or is autistic!

No, fair enough! Most children reach the height for not using a booster long before 12 but if their parents choose to use the P&C, whether they need to or not, no-one can stop them.

I use them with my 7 year old (granted 9/10 I also have the toddler with me)
My 7 year old is still a danger in a car park. I can't trust them to stand by the car safely, or to pay attention to the things going on around them. The second they're out the car it's like a playground to them. My toddler is actually more likely to stand in one place 🤣

I use them with my 11 yr old and it's mostly when we're popping in after school and in a rush. Supermarkets say I can so I do. I wouldn't do it with my 13 yr old but she's too tall anyway to get away with it

This.

I'm surprised how long it took for someone to mention this.

I have an 8 year old and I still need to buckle her into the high back booster seat. She will still be in it at 9. (From the growth chart). To buckle her in, I need the car door wide open. She couldn’t do it herself because of the position of the car seat buckle. I don’t use the parent & child parks if DC1 is with me because she can put DC2 in.

Until you have been there you simply don’t know. 9 year olds can still be in car seats. Depending on height. It’s 135cm.

Someone once told me off for using one of those spaces when I was 42 weeks pregnant as big as a house and literally couldn’t get the car door wide enough open to exit the car in a normal space. They properly shouted at me that I didn’t have a child with me so I should leave and park somewhere else. I nearly cried and decked him (of course it was a him) at the same time. I waddled into the supermarket holding my bump absolutely furious and gave birth about 3 hours later.

I have been outraged about it for 17 years! anyway the moral of this story is just stay quiet and get on with your own stuff rather than worry about what you think a stranger should or should not be doing.

This!

P&C spaces at supermarkets are designed to encourage you to bring your children with you for the simple reason that you will almost inevitably spend more if you shop with them in tow.

Unbelievable.

You use a P&C space with an 11 year old because 'supermarkets say I can'.

What utter entitlement.

OP, YADNBU. My DC are older now; once they were beyond baby / toddler stage, of course I didn't use them. I agree for ND children it's different.

Assuming NT, this is crazy. You need to explain to your 7 yo how to behave in certain situations. There's no reason they cannot be trusted getting out of a car (unless you haven't mentioned SN).