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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel that parents with older children shouldn't be using parent and child car parks?

329 replies

mickitee · 08/08/2023 12:33

Several times since having my baby, I've been to car parks where all the parent and child spaces were full, and then struggled with her pushchair in a regular car space only to look over and see a family with older children (8+) getting into a car in one of the parenting child spaces.

Am I wrong to feel that these parks are designed for families with babies and younger children using pushchairs, or who actually need what's the extra space to be able to get their child in and out safely without risking damage to cars around them. If your child is at an age and ability level where they are capable of getting in and out of the car safely by themselves, you don't need the space and are just making life more difficult for other parents.

So, AIBU to feel annoyed about this?

OP posts:
Scaraben · 08/08/2023 15:19

I wonder if people with older kids seem to be using them more because of car seat laws. You do have to open the door wider to get into a car seat (especially the bulky toddler-12 ones). I've noticed near me people do seem to be more adherent to the law around being in a car seat until 135cm or 12yr old, which might account for families with older seeming children using these spaces.

StampOnTheGround · 08/08/2023 15:20

I needed it more when I was at the end of pregnancy, trying to squeeze out the tight gap wasn't fun!

In all seriousness, I googled it before and it was up to the age of 12, so although annoying when you have a younger child, they're not doing anything wrong.

autienotnaughti · 08/08/2023 15:20

The spaces are wider for pushchairs and near to the shop/path for parents with mobile young children. It's upto parents to decide if they need it. You will likely find yourself needing it in a few years and remember your judgment of others.

Sigmama · 08/08/2023 15:21

Older children don't need them and could do with the exercise

Sirzy · 08/08/2023 15:22

yellowbadgeblue · 08/08/2023 15:19

I was just as disabled before I got my BB.

There are very many disabled people who are not entitled to a BB

And this is a big part of the issue.

personally I would widen the criteria for blue badges and increase massively the legal minimum amount of spaces places need to provide so there are plenty of spaces for those who need them because of the disability.

at the moment too many people slip through the net especially when it comes down to local council discretion. The automatic qualification criteria is set way too high especially for those getting PIP

northwitchy · 08/08/2023 15:25

Do you think your more deserving that other parents? They are for children up to 12 years...get there earlier next time or walk

AuntMarch · 08/08/2023 15:29

Wenfy · 08/08/2023 12:52

In the UK, by default, disabled people have first dibs on EVERY parking space - P&C included. But I actually think ablebbodied parents with babies shouldn’t need them because you can lift a baby (or two) and carry them safely into the car. It’s more for ND kids or toddlers who walk but might not have the ability to sense danger (or do as they’re told).

Can carry the baby... but without room to open the door further you can't get them out of the car in the first place!

QueefQueen80s · 08/08/2023 15:30

They're for upto 12 year olds.. Take it up with whoever made that rule if it bothers you.. not the parents.

RedRosette2023 · 08/08/2023 15:30

Sirzy · 08/08/2023 15:22

And this is a big part of the issue.

personally I would widen the criteria for blue badges and increase massively the legal minimum amount of spaces places need to provide so there are plenty of spaces for those who need them because of the disability.

at the moment too many people slip through the net especially when it comes down to local council discretion. The automatic qualification criteria is set way too high especially for those getting PIP

Show quote history

Definitely.

Because essentially what people are saying is “I can’t get a blue badge so I park somewhere I’m still not entitled to but with less stringent policing.”

RedRosette2023 · 08/08/2023 15:33

AuntMarch · 08/08/2023 15:29

Can carry the baby... but without room to open the door further you can't get them out of the car in the first place!

Show quote history

I can think of one occasion where using a regular space with two kids has been totally unworkable.

I had my baby in a car seat and couldn’t get him in any way.

so had to ask a passing Mother to watch him whilst I reversed to get him and my three year old in and strapped in.

I think pregnancy and having a baby in a removable car seat are the times you most need the spaces, because you need the most space.

nokidshere · 08/08/2023 15:34

@CecilyP

There might not be specific signage at your particular branch but the big supermarkets are clear that it's up to 12 because that conforms with the legal age for using a car seat.

Sirzy · 08/08/2023 15:36

RedRosette2023 · 08/08/2023 15:30

Definitely.

Because essentially what people are saying is “I can’t get a blue badge so I park somewhere I’m still not entitled to but with less stringent policing.”

Show quote history

But reasonable adjustment says people with a disability can park in P and C spaces. There is no law about who can use P and C spaces but reasonable adjustment would win all day long in any court if it came to it!

niclw · 08/08/2023 15:37

I completely understand where you are coming from and thought the same when my dc was a baby. My dc is now 4 and i thought I'd be using normal spaces again by now. However I've realised that there simply isn't enough space for my child to climb into the car without damaging another car or for me to fit in the space and do his seat belt up. Additionally it isn't as safe as parent and child spaces. I would happily walk from the far depths of the car park in pelting rain simply to have more space around the car. I know that I need the space less than some others so when I go to a supermarket on a Saturday morning I won't bother with parent and child. I find the quietest part of the car park and park there. But at 6pm after work I will use parent and child as the spaces are usually empty. I get more annoyed at the parents of teenagers parking in these spaces and those without children or a blue badge.

Original poster
mickitee · 08/08/2023 15:38

Yes, I specifically said children who don't need assistance. If I see you offering assistance to your child who otherwise looks typical then I'm going to assume you need to use it.

OP posts:
CrotchetyQuaver · 08/08/2023 15:39

I used to use them with my late father in his 90's. He couldn't walk very far and seemingly wasn't eligible for a disabled parking badge. Judge away!

stargirl1701 · 08/08/2023 15:40

My thinking is that if there is a child in a car seat, I can use P&C parking. I have 2 DC (10 and 8). The eldest, who is autistic, is in a booster. She is 140cm so legally able to travel without but the seatbelt does not sit correctly. Youngest (120cm) is still in her Joie carseat.

Car seat use is for the under 12s and 150cm is the gold standard for going without.

lemonyellows · 08/08/2023 15:40

Depends on the car park. Our local isn't right by the door so you don't get so many misusing. The advantage is more space and being next to a safe space for children to walk on away from the cars. I think when your baby is older, you will realise that it is important for children as well.

Janey3090 · 08/08/2023 15:41

I’m not so annoyed by this, but I get very angry seeing work vans and taxis parked in those spaces, especially when there’s no other P&C spaces left. It just screams of laziness and entitlement.

Stressedoutforever · 08/08/2023 15:43

I have two under two so it can be a nightmare getting car seat with baby plus 18 month old out of giant car in a normal spot. But sometimes I have to, I grumble slightly and move on with my life

Original poster
mickitee · 08/08/2023 15:46

Yes, absolutely. This is what I meant. I'm not walking around the supermarket huffing and puffing at people or making comments, or even specifically judging people I see.

OP posts:
redskytwonight · 08/08/2023 15:48

RedRosette2023 · 08/08/2023 15:08

So get a blue badge.

Show quote history

There speaks a person who doesn't understand the blue badge process.

My DD can walk from the far side of the car park to the shop.
Or she can walk from the near side of the car park and round the shop.

She can't do both, but this level of mobility is considered too much for her to get a blue badge.

Now she is a teenager I can drop her off outside the shop, go and park and then meet her. Otherwise she wouldn't go to the shop at all.

Original poster
mickitee · 08/08/2023 15:49

Absolutely isn't this, I would prefer if the car parks that had extra space with further away to stop people using them for convenience. In some situations the car park is full and you end up crammed into a tiny park trying to get a push chair and a baby out of the car. This is the only time when I am even concerned.

OP posts:
Original poster
mickitee · 08/08/2023 15:50

I appreciate this, and nowhere did I say that people with disabilities should not be able to use them.

OP posts:
DinoRoar14 · 08/08/2023 15:52

mickitee · 08/08/2023 15:38

Yes, I specifically said children who don't need assistance. If I see you offering assistance to your child who otherwise looks typical then I'm going to assume you need to use it.

So I don't 'need' it but want it.

And that would be an issue for you?

yellowbadgeblue · 08/08/2023 15:56

RedRosette2023 · 08/08/2023 15:30

Definitely.

Because essentially what people are saying is “I can’t get a blue badge so I park somewhere I’m still not entitled to but with less stringent policing.”

Show quote history

Because the law says I'm entitled to a reasonable adjustment for my disability.

And since I need to be able to open the car door as a consequence of my disability, and I can't do that in a normal width parking space, using a parent and child space is a reasonable adjustment for my disability, with or without a BB