AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

Splashing, jumping, and hanging out in the middle of the pool so that nobody can use it properly for swimming ≠ "splashing".

Kids screaming, running and bashing into sun loungers ≠ "splashing".

Kids screaming, running and bashing into restaurant tables ≠ "splashing".

This.

I hate other people's kids as much as the next person 😄but you're going to a family-friendly hotel with kids' pools during school holidays.

I'm disabled and have had small children run into me, hard. Is that ok then?

It was in the Portuguese countryside are far away from the main town and the restaurant was very good. We went a few times into the main town but 25 euro taxi each way plus wanted to just chill and stay put means we wanted to eat there more than we normally would in a hotel.

God, you can see why this behaviour is rife just from this thread. If kids are allowed, we all have to tolerate literally anything they do or we're in the wrong place and should go find an adult-only place instead.

YANBU. DH and I are having our first night away in 18 months (and since DD was born) at the weekend, and I'm terrified of it being ruined by other people's children 🤦‍♀️ we're going away for peace and quiet and I bloody well hope we get it!

They don't care though, it's like they tune it out or don't give a fuck
My neighbours kids scream all summer and were still going at 10pm the other night
My garden is unusable unless I wear headphones and they never say a word to the children. If you imagine 3 young children let loose with a trampoline, pool and climbing frame with no parenting, that's the level of screaming. Even double glazing doesn't mute it

youre not being unreasonable but next time go for an adult only hotel, kids are gonna be kids

Did I say it was? I thought everyone aged above about 3 knew that two wrongs don't make a right, though.

Deliberately trip someone up (child or adult) can lead to nasty injuries and if that were to happen I suspect you'd find yourself very in the wrong very quickly.

*As some people have correctly mentioned - family friendly doesn't mean families only? It wasn't a families with kids only hotel so how was I 'in the wrong place'

If we'd booked some big family resort full of kids activities and slides - I agree I don't have a right to moan because I would be the odd one out.

But I do think when booking a 5 star chilled spa type hotel (not in a popular touristy destination at all) - I don't think I should just think 'I'm in the wrong place' and put up with not being able to enjoy any chilled out time.*

Really?

It clearly wasn't " a chilled spa type of place". It was full of kids disturbing you!

The atmosphere obviously changes during the school holidays when the kids arrive.

The semantics of family friendly don't really make much difference tbh. And actually most people would read them as a bit of flag that says " families come here".

I'm not sure what to say to your last sentence. What did you do other than put up with it?

Well YANBU to be annoyed at noisy kids and lazy parenting, but your DH was unreasonable to book a family friendly hotel in the summer holidays. There are plenty of adult only ones to choose from.

Yes absolutely this^^

And it does the dc no favours either as they grow up to be socially unaware adults.

It was a birthday surprise and my birthday is in July which is why we went then.

I don't care about kids in general but I do care about unmodified bad behaviour when trying to relax. I don't think it's unreasonable to express a wish that perhaps parents try and regulate kids behaviour in a shared space.

Yes. I was a kid once and my family travelled for 3-4 weeks every summer. There is no way me and my sister would gotten away with shrieking and bothering people anywhere we went - my parents would not have let us get away with that and always made us aware that there other people around us and to be respective.

Ffs some posters seem to think family friendly means kids get priority to act however they like and people without kids just have to put up with it or else go to an adult only hotel.

How about just teaching your darlings to consider others in public places and everyone just bobs along just fine?

Haha yes totally! Definitely a clear divide on this thread.

Pretty obvious the posters telling me it was 'my fault' to dare to go somewhere not adults only and 'kids will be kids on holiday' are the ones letting their little darlings run around screeching.

This

Sorry didn't mean to quote another thread!

50/50 OP. As been said, if you want to guarantee no shrieking kids, go adult only. It's the only way.
Saying that, the poor behaviour of kids and lack of engagement from their parents does seem to be far more noticeable and prevalent now than ever before. Parents just seem oblivious to their kids behaviour and how it affects others.
We were in a fairly upmarket restaurant a few weeks ago and there was a multi-generational family party on another the table. Their kids were running in the restaurant and one of them ran into our wine cooler, smashing the bottle. Parents were totally unaware!!

God, you can see why this behaviour is rife just from this thread. If kids are allowed, we all have to tolerate literally anything they do or we're in the wrong place and should go find an adult-only place instead.

I don't find it rife.

But the last place I'd look for calm is at a pool side seat at a "family friendly " hotel during school hols.

I agree kids shouldn't run in restaurants.

Seriously OP, what were you expecting?

I agree that kids charging around in the restaurant is wrong , so in that respect YANBU.

But in a family friendly hotel in the school summer holidays - regardless of how remote or beautiful it is - if it has a pool, the pool will be full of kids. And kids shout when they’re playing in the pool. Parents want nice holidays too, so they will sometimes take their kid to nice hotels. Just because people have kids, doesn’t mean they’re condemned to Butlins only.

Child-free adults who want peace and tranquility have many options that will guarantee this.

I’m not sure you can complain about kids being a bit giddy in a pool in a family friendly hotel during the school hols, whatever the star rating. But they definitely should behave at meals. The wandering about is bad enough, but I def cannot be doing with the shrieking that goes with it.

It's not going to happen. The world is increasingly being populated by feral families with their increasingly feral kids.

Criticize them and their parents will go beserk. In fact society seems to rationalise any sort of crazy behaviour by adults so long as it's "to do with your kids".

The best thing to do is just get the hell away from them. You can't fight the entire world so don't even bother trying.

I’m confused as to why some posters are rushing to excuse unruly behaviour. Children do make a lot of noise when they’re excited which is to be expected. But shrieking constantly? That’s not acceptable. Running around sun loungers is also quite rude because the children’s parents are somehow expecting their little ones fun is somehow takes precedence over others trying to relax. What I also don’t like is when some parents seem to get completely trousered or are completely distracted or ignoring their kids who are running around away from their eye view all in the hopes that others have an internal moral code and would supervise their children.

Pretty obvious the posters telling me it was 'my fault' to dare to go somewhere not adults only and 'kids will be kids on holiday' are the ones letting their little darlings run around

Absolute b*s

You booked the wrong place in the school hols.

I agree. Parenting these days seems so much worse than it used to be. If me or my siblings behaved like some children these days we would have been dragged home/back inside.

I live in a small rural village and there is a pub with a garden outside with some playground stuff for kids. I have lived here 30 years. You used to get children playing in the garden and you could hear them laughing/playing normally - a nice sound. Now though, the shrieking, screaming, meltdowns at the top of their voices is quite unbelievable. No one ever seems to tell them to be quiet or parent in any way.