AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

Points taken by everyone, good advice - definitely a mistake not doing adults only. TBF it wasn't some big family style resort and more chilled spa hotel so really don't think my DP was expecting so many families when he booked.

Lot of people focusing on the pool aspect but it wasn't just we couldn't use that facility it was more the selfishness / lack of awareness from parents that I was mentioning and not seeming to react or care that we didn't want their kids running into our table over and over and screaming during our meals. They'd literally just watch and not react and go back to chatting.

There was a few other incidents too - so by the end of the holiday - I just felt a bit irritated that people didn't seem consider that they aren't the only people in the hotel.

We were in the gym one day working out and one family bought their kids in because they wanted to touch the machines (!) - one poor guy was literally about to get on the treadmill and had to stand waiting for 5 minutes because the guy wanted to let his toddler touch every button first. Not a flicker on the parents face that maybe that was a bit annoying.

I have two young DC and I think that kids running around the restaurant/hotel is completely unacceptable.

The pool is a completely different story through. That's what kids do at a pool - they are not going to be quietly swimming lengths.

This

LOL

I feel your pain OP!

I’m a teacher so no choice as to when to go on hols but we always book a self catering holiday break and accommodation with a private pool. Bliss! You can get really good deals when you search around.

When going out to pubs/restaurants and cafes I’m often a bit miffed when families let their children run around disrupting other diners. We’ve got our own children too and I wouldn’t expect to foist them on strangers!

Perhaps I just a grumpy cow…

YANBU Op. Those of you who keep saying go outside the school holidays are forgetting that a lot of us work in schools so have no option. However, even if we were able to go away outside the school holidays it's the pre-schoolers that do a lot of the screaming 😀 I think if I was paying a lot of money for a swanky hotel it would have to be adults only.

I have to say I don't agree that adults should have to put up with struggling to use the pool because of the behaviour of another group of people, especially when that group has been provided their own pool to mess about in.

I'm not saying "ban the kids from the adult pool", but if adults can't easily use the facilities because the kids are messing around in both pools then it's a bit ridiculous to expect adults to be happy paying for the facilities.

If you can only go in school holidays there are loads of adult only hotels.

This is why we don’t go in the holidays or book adult only hotels

That's why we tend to go adults only. It's a completely different atmosphere and staff are more laid back.

PS I'm not talking today's equivalent of Club 18-30 but equally not bingo and Elvis tribute "nites"!

Thank you! You've articulated what I was trying to say so much better than me.

I don't really think it's a fair because people don't have kids they have to lump it and put up with it and they can't really use the pool.

I'm talking about badly behaved kids too, not normal kid behaviour.

Yanbu, we now book adult only hotels or hotels which have a separate adult only pool area.

On the last holiday I had in a family hotel the lifeguard had to rescue a non swimmer child from the pool, despite the child being with a large group of adults. From what the lifeguard said to them it wasn't the first time it had happened, yet they continued to let the child wander off.

Lot of people focusing on the pool aspect but it wasn't just we couldn't use that facility it was more the selfishness / lack of awareness from parents that I was mentioning and not seeming to react or care that we didn't want their kids running into our table over and over and screaming during our meals. They'd literally just watch and not react and go back to chatting.

that would have been very easily sorted by telling them to go away. Or by telling the parents the children were disturbing you.

YANBU.

I wouldn't expect a pool to be child-free and I would expect kids using the pool to be playing with rubber rings etc, but I would also expect most of them to be using the kids' pool and the ones in the main pool to be playing around without essentially preventing other people from swimming. While I'm more than happy to hear kids laughing and splashing, that's different from screaming and shrieking is very different and it does sound like what you're describing is kids who are out of control and OTT, not just kids playing. It's easy enough to tune out the general background noise of kids playing normally when you're reading by a pool, but it's impossible to tune out that mad shrieking and screaming that some parents let their kids get away with.

Kids bumping into other people's sun loungers, constantly pushing past or getting in the way is not OK, and neither is kids running around in a restaurant.

Many years ago I stayed in a hotel abroad, not in the school holidays, and the pool was constantly hogged by the shrieking kids of the hotel staff and their friends, so even if you go outside the school holidays it's not always escapable!

I don't think you can begrudge kids using the pool if it wasn't specifically an adults only one. The kids shallow pool wouldn't have been big enough for ones wanting to play and jump in. Of course they're going to make noise when playing and running about.

The restaurant thing is different though, don't think there's ever any excuse for kids running up and down in the restaurant.

Perhaps Adults Only would be a better option, or at least a resort with Adults Only zones, which in my experience have generally been respected.

I actually believe that parents who let their kids run around high risk placea like restaurant etc are secretly trying to get rid of them or something. The risk of injuries is real

This is why adult only resorts and hotels exist. People should teach their children basic manners, and actually parent, but they don't, so the only option is to avoid them. I have young children myself, but if we manage to get a childfree weekend away, we'd always book someone that is adults only. Some hotels have times when children can't use the pool, so that's generally ok, but I'd probably still avoid the hotel restaurant.

YANBU about running riot at mealtimes but YABU about the pool. it’s a family hotel - kids can play in the pool - look for hotels with adults only pools if kids playing pools is going to bother you. kids older than babies/toddlers can’t play in a shallow baby pool

Whilst I think you are correct, and I have a child and ask him to just use the kids pool unless he wants to 'swim' and keep quiet, I think unfortunately it's just what happens now

It's hard as a parent too, I really believe in staying at a table until the end of a meal and have to say over and over 'I don't care what any other children do, in our family we stay seated until the meal is over'. He does, but it feels off when other children come over and wave toys in his face etc

I do think adult only is the way forwards as you can't control others, only yourselves, and that will limit the encounters with the 'ignorer' parents...

It's using something to the extent that others struggle to, that's the problem.

It being not adults-only doesn't mean that kids should be allowed to use it in a way that prevents it being used (even if only basically) by anyone else. That would make it for kids.

Same argument arises in family friendly restaurants. It means family-friendly - not for families. Other people still have the right to dine there.

I can't stand it when kids shreik. We never used to behave like that as kids. We certainly never ran around restaurants. Be the middle class families used to they're little darlings being cared for by nannies.

I have been to quite a few hotels where the 'kids pool' is the depth of a paddling pool - great for babies and toddlers - rubbish for 3 upwards - which is why you get lots of children in the main pool

We brought the kids on holidays last year at the end of June, and this year inJuly (are in Ireland so holidays start at the end of June) The difference was unbelievable in terms of noise levels and general craziness. Was talking to people there and they said basically stay away from anywhere in july, June and august are much quieter

YABU

there are SO many adult only hotels UK and abroad. Next time why not book one of those or if not, don’t go to a kid friendly hotel during school holidays? Yes people should ask their kids to be respectful but they are allowed to have fun on their holiday too.