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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

642 replies

AnnoyedOnHoliday · 07/08/2023 14:26

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/08/2023 14:56

coxesorangepippin · 07/08/2023 14:54

Was this in the UK??

Not if they were using Sun loungers!

Hufflepods · 07/08/2023 14:56

Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

This is just normal though. Young children are going to be playing in the pool, splashing on rubber rings etc and not quietly swimming laps.
Child free resorts are available and would maybe be more suited to you.
You can’t really go to a hotel in the summer holidays and moan about kids in the pool.

MaryShelley1818 · 07/08/2023 14:58

Shrieking and screaming is annoying, and children should absolutely not be running around restaurants.
But YABU to expect them not to be playing and jumping in the main pool because you fancy a quiet swim. They have all paid to use the "nice 5*" facilities too and are just as entitled to be in it as you are.

Pre-kids we holidayed in term time.

purpleleotard2 · 07/08/2023 15:00

When I see the sign 'Family friendly', I avoid the place until the school holiday are over.

So best to go on holiday in October 😀

EffYouSeeKaye · 07/08/2023 15:02

I don’t allow my own children to behave like that but have long since given up on other parents having the same standards as us. For this reason I choose adult only hotels when I go away with my husband or friends.

RedRobyn2021 · 07/08/2023 15:04

I think it's out of order that parents were letting their kids run round the dining room

But other than that yes you being unreasonable

If you don't want be on holiday with children then book adult only

GreenWheat · 07/08/2023 15:04

Yes and no really. People should not let their kids be unreasonably disruptive, but also going on holiday in August of course you are going to encounter a high number of children having fun. Families are very limited in the times they can travel so obviously most of them go in August. If you too choose to travel then, you should expect to be in the minority.

TruffleShuffles · 07/08/2023 15:04

There is a reason adult only hotels exist. I think it’s a bit silly to expect a peaceful holiday when booking a hotel that allows children and it’s the school holidays. I know you should expect parents to not let their children run riot but it seems like it’s almost the norm nowadays, people are too selfish to care about how their behaviour affects others.

QueefQueen80s · 07/08/2023 15:04

QueefQueen80s · 07/08/2023 14:46

Those parents are definitely not doing their job, they should be controlling them. BUT choose adults only if you want to relax, like a spa hotel

And yes I agree with others that if kids are allowed there then they should be able to have fun in the pool. But running round the hotel screaming no.

Defo adults only next time!

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 07/08/2023 15:05

Mojoj · 07/08/2023 14:41

Next time, choose an adults only hotel. And don't go during school holidays.

This. I never went on holidays in school holidays before i had kids, and even now i'm planning to just take them out of school to avoid other peoples kids.

If you're going for a nice relaxing holiday then definitely either adults only or a hotel that has an adults only section/pool

CurzonDax · 07/08/2023 15:05

The pool - it's to be expected. Annoying for someone who wants to swim lengths, but I can't get worked up at children who play with rubber rings, and splash, and kind of expect this in a resort pool (not all children want to go into the smaller 'baby' pool). I like hotels that have more than pool (potentially even one that is adult-only). I went to a resort last year that had four pools; the main outside one, the toddler pool, and an adults-only pool, plus another inside - most people stayed by the main pool (and it was exactly as you described OP, which large rings, and playing the in the middle), there were a few families/teenagers in the inside pool each day, but the adult one was where I went for my lengths. Not as big as the main pool, but still big enough, and deep enough, to do a few lengths in.

However, the restaurant behaviour is appalling. Nobody should be having their meals disturbed.

LegendsBeyond · 07/08/2023 15:07

Adult only hotels are great for this reason. I wouldn’t waste my money on a normal hotel. That kind of feral behaviour is normal now in the UK.

Original poster
AnnoyedOnHoliday · 07/08/2023 15:08

Hufflepods · 07/08/2023 14:56

Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

This is just normal though. Young children are going to be playing in the pool, splashing on rubber rings etc and not quietly swimming laps.
Child free resorts are available and would maybe be more suited to you.
You can’t really go to a hotel in the summer holidays and moan about kids in the pool.

@Hufflepods

Is it normal tho?

For sure, rookie mistake for DP to book during school hols and adults only next time for sure (lesson learned) but it was not a typical family resort - think nice gym/spa hotel so don't think he was anticipating all the shrieking kids.

There is a big difference between 'moaning about kids in pool' and being actually unable to use the pool at all, or even the pool area. Because then surely you are just saying the priority is only kids/families with kids.

Interested, do you genuinely think we should pay the same to stay there but be unable to use the pool facilities because kids will be kids on their summer holidays?

OP posts:
floribunda18 · 07/08/2023 15:08

YABU- I think it's normal in school holidays and kids will be excited and loud around the pool, even if being well-behaved. And they do seem louder to adults who don't have kids or who have moved on from that little kid stage. Some parents do allow their kids to take over too much but I wouldn't expect a quiet pool in summer in a family friendly place.

There are LOADS of places which are 18+ spas and so on you could have gone to. I have been to so many hotel pools which have had no kids there at all.

PollyThePixie · 07/08/2023 15:08

I don’t know what you expect when people/children in a swimming pool but
perhaps an adult only hotel would be better for you next time.

I’d be disgruntled about the noise at other times in the main part of the hotel but again, perhaps a child free hotel would be better for you if your not going to say anything to the parents of the unruly kids. I expect a lot of my children when eating out/on holiday and wouldn’t hesitate to ask someone to reign their children in a bit at a mealtime.

But swimming pools? Nah. They’re there to have fun in.

marblesthecat · 07/08/2023 15:09

YANBU. I wouldn't expect anything else though as people don't bother parenting their kids at some so I wouldn't expect them to do it on holiday either. I'm fucking sick of screaming kids everywhere,

lilyvictus · 07/08/2023 15:10

What @EffYouSeeKaye said.

Also voice volume. Do people not teach their kids the concept of indoor voices any more?

JorisBonson · 07/08/2023 15:10

YADNBU. We only stay at adults only places for this very reason.

AMessageToYouRuby · 07/08/2023 15:11

I have kids and am pretty noise tolerant but I'm so glad to hear this isn't just me. I'm certain they're screaming more now. We have two new sets of neighbours and there is so much screaming!

We aren't a particularly quiet house but I can't get over the shrieking and screaming from dawn 'til bloody dusk. People have become so inconsiderate.

floribunda18 · 07/08/2023 15:11

It's surprising that a posh hotel also didn't have family sessions and adult only session. All the ones I've been to when DDs were small had rules on when they could use the pool. Or had another adult only pool they couldn't use.

Hufflepods · 07/08/2023 15:11

@AnnoyedOnHoliday yes it’s normal for children to play in the pool. You weren’t unable to use the pool, you just didn’t like it. You also weren’t unable to use the wider pool area, you just didn’t have peace and quiet to read your book.
Most decent 5* hotels will have adult only pool options within the grounds, or private pools at rooms.
It does see like the mere existence of children ruined your holiday rather than any actual specific bad behaviour.
Fyi I think running in the restaurant is unacceptable but I have a feeling you would be moaning even without that.

Hufflepods · 07/08/2023 15:15

Interested, do you genuinely think we should pay the same to stay there but be unable to use the pool facilities because kids will be kids on their summer holidays?

Thats not the case though. Nothing was actually stopping you use the pool.
Do children with families pay the same with a resort has an adult only pool? Of course they do.
If children bother you that much it’s on you to go to an adults only hotel.
Family friendly is not going to be calm and serene around the pool, surely everyone with a brain cell knows that??

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 07/08/2023 15:15

YANBU. Shit parenting is rife.

Pipsquiggle · 07/08/2023 15:16

Are you a teacher? Why are you taking holidays at peak times?

My DC are pretty well behaved but even they do laugh and shout and scream when they are around a public pool playing on holiday.

Even good, well behaved DC get excited and quite often the output is elevated voices / laughing/ screaming.

If you want to truly relax without DC - go on holiday outside of peak, go to an adult only resort or go to a bigger resort where there is an adult only pool.

The dining room behaviour should be better but if this is a resort geared up for families there's often ice cream bars / dessert bars / soft drink machines or entertainment near by so sometimes they are eager to explore.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/08/2023 15:17

I'm another one who only uses adult only resorts. YANBU in the slightest. One of my friends has just returned from a similar experience at a 5 star. Checking it on tripadvisor indicated that this has now become a real problem with people complaining about it.