Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

642 replies

AnnoyedOnHoliday · 07/08/2023 14:26

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:45

It's a family friendly resort. Not family only resort.

Clearly OP needs to be taking this up with the Hotel.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/08/2023 17:47

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:18

No, I mean that the poster in general doesn't like children at all, which presumably includes all the ones who don't dent cars. She did state in another discussion elsewhere that she can't stand young children.

If you're referring to me, please provide the link to where I stated that I can't stand all children.

I can't stand shiftless, lazy, inconsiderate parents, that's for sure.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:48

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:45

It's a family friendly resort. Not family only resort.

Clearly OP needs to be taking this up with the Hotel.

Or the parents need to parent better. As said previously, it's always someone else's fault/responsibility.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 17:48

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:41

Not by getting shit faced and behaving like thugs at a family resort, no.

Sitting around laughing, getting drunk over a few bottles of wine, maybe a few cocktails late into the night is behaving like a thug is it? !

No and that wouldn't wake anybody up.

If you're so pissed that you're screaming and shouting like a child (you're not), you're a thug.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:48

Or in their own home, or their parents' car with the windows closed.

The consideration. The reasonableness.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/08/2023 17:50

Basketballqueen · 09/08/2023 16:41

'There is something about being raised on screens, being overly coddled, etc., that is is turning out these extremely self-centered and narcissistic children. Fates help us when they become adults.*'

Hang on, which is it? Do we want kids inside not making noise, not playing in pools or being children or not? Doesn't sound like these ones were being mollycoddled on a screen... sounds like they were a bit like kids in the 70s and 80s... running free with not much parental supervision...

As one who was a child in the 70s, I can assure you that screaming was not tolerated. We ran around and played but we didn't damage property, we didn't shriek and we were told off by 'the village' if the village didn't like something we were doing.

I think it's time to scrap the 'don't you dare approach my child/don't dare question my parenting choices' demands we've been getting from parents the past 20 years and return to having the village freely rebuke people of any age who are creating a public nuisance and infringing on others. Maybe some telling-off poolside would be a wake-up call to the parents of the noisemakers.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:51

Or the parents need to parent better. As said previously, it's always someone else's fault/responsibility.

Well I know what would get more direct action. Speak to the hotel.

Or flail around on here arguing about 'parenting'

And yes I presume you are talking about other peoples fault. You know " parents"
and " kids".

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:52

*As one who was a child in the 70s, I can assure you that screaming was not tolerated. We ran around and played but we didn't damage property, we didn't shriek and we were told off by 'the village' if the village didn't like something we were doing.

I think it's time to scrap the 'don't you dare approach my child/don't dare question my parenting choices' demands we've been getting from parents the past 20 years and return to having the village freely rebuke people of any age who are creating a public nuisance and infringing on others. Maybe some telling-off poolside would be a wake-up call to the parents of the noisemakers.*

Here we go.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:54

Any hints where you might be visiting on holiday in the future ?

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 18:03

It's a family friendly resort. Not family only resort.

You can repeat that on this thread ad infinitum but just for the record, I think your average person doing holiday research KNOWS that family friendly is code for = families come here

And those 6/8 weeks during the school holidays it's code for =
Lots of families come here

Ignore that at your peril.

DangerousAlchemy · 09/08/2023 18:09

Me too @Hibiscrubbed 'a massive racket playing outdoors' umm no thanks. Kids do not need to scream & shout at the top of their voices in order to have fun. We're holidaying in Dorset this week & it's obviously rammed so I'm doing a lot of people watching on the beaches - a favourite hobby of mine 😀 It's noisy but nice yet one annoying kid's voice carried clearly across an entire beach of people earlier as he shrieked & shrieked for his parents attention (he was swimming) for ages- he was 8 or 9 so old enough to know better. Everyone was staring. Parents were ignoring him. I muttered to DS 15 'Jeez will someone shut that kid up' - he agreed. There is simply no need to be that family at the centre of attention who all shout & scream at each other. It's embarrassing for them & annoying for everyone else.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/08/2023 18:40

We were never allowed to scream or shriek near water, it was a cardinal rule (and we grew up on lakes.)

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 18:43

Nobody has yet explained how - if shrieking and screaming is so normal and desirable - we’re supposed to tell the difference between a child who is injured or needs help, and one who is just “stretching their psychological legs”?

That was the reason why we weren’t permitted to do it back in the 80s/90s. Have we developed some new spidey sense since then? Or is the village supposed to be checking every single time a shriek is heard?

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 18:46

That was the reason why we weren’t permitted to do it back in the 80s/90s. Have we developed some new spidey sense since then? Or is the village supposed to be checking every single time a shriek is heard?

Which we is that? The general population?

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 18:49

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 18:46

That was the reason why we weren’t permitted to do it back in the 80s/90s. Have we developed some new spidey sense since then? Or is the village supposed to be checking every single time a shriek is heard?

Which we is that? The general population?

I was talking about myself and my peer group at the time (from memory) and friends and colleagues of the sameish age etc. (from discussions). I should’ve known there’d be someone along to nitpick though.

Do you have an answer to the actual question though?

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 18:56

Do you have an answer to the actual question though?

I'm confused by the actual premise tbh. Are you jumping up every time you hear a shriek?

Or is there more jumping up since the 80/90s .

I think people react mostly as they have always done and I never understand this whole "new" shrieking thing anyway. I think kids sound like kids sound like kids. And can be very noisy .

I think adults usually know when there is a problem. In my experience it's quite a different sound.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 18:57

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 18:43

Nobody has yet explained how - if shrieking and screaming is so normal and desirable - we’re supposed to tell the difference between a child who is injured or needs help, and one who is just “stretching their psychological legs”?

That was the reason why we weren’t permitted to do it back in the 80s/90s. Have we developed some new spidey sense since then? Or is the village supposed to be checking every single time a shriek is heard?

You can't tell the difference between kids being daft and a cry of pain or fear?

Me and my cousins used to howl like banshees while racing down me Nana's street. She was in her 70's, in the 80's and she just waved as we went past. 😁

This whole kids were quiter in previous generations is utter bollox

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 18:58

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 18:56

Do you have an answer to the actual question though?

I'm confused by the actual premise tbh. Are you jumping up every time you hear a shriek?

Or is there more jumping up since the 80/90s .

I think people react mostly as they have always done and I never understand this whole "new" shrieking thing anyway. I think kids sound like kids sound like kids. And can be very noisy .

I think adults usually know when there is a problem. In my experience it's quite a different sound.

Exactly- it's much more of a visceral sound.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 18:59

@sunglassesonthetable My question was: if shrieking and screaming is normal and healthy then how does a child indicate that something is badly wrong?

You seen to think that there’s no need to worry because kids have some kind of distinct danger shriek or scream which is different from the ordinary shriek or scream, and all people recognise the difference. Which is… creative, I’ll give you that.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 19:01

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 18:59

@sunglassesonthetable My question was: if shrieking and screaming is normal and healthy then how does a child indicate that something is badly wrong?

You seen to think that there’s no need to worry because kids have some kind of distinct danger shriek or scream which is different from the ordinary shriek or scream, and all people recognise the difference. Which is… creative, I’ll give you that.

I can tell the difference. It's a very different tone.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 19:02

You can't tell the difference between kids being daft and a cry of pain or fear?

I can tell the difference between playing noise (happy shouting) and shrieking/screaming. The latter is high pitched, extreme and designed to draw attention. Ideal for a person who is in pain or frightened.

Seems I’m missing you two’s superior abilities.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 19:05

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 19:01

I can tell the difference. It's a very different tone.

Show quote history

That’s good.

I mean personally I think safer to tell kids to reserve shrieking and screaming for when they actually need help, but knock yourself out with “nah do what you like, people automatically know the difference between an ‘I’m being daft!’ bloodcurdling scream and one that signifies you’re trapped down a well”.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 19:08

My question was: if shrieking and screaming is normal and healthy then how does a child indicate that something is badly wrong?

My answer is that I don't hear all these kids screaming and shrieking in ordinary play, and certainly not as they would if something was badly wrong.it's other posters who say that. Ask them.

You seen to think that there’s no need to worry because kids have some kind of distinct danger shriek or scream which is different from the ordinary shriek or scream, and all people recognise the difference. Which is… creative, I’ll give you that.

I have no idea if all people would recognise when something was badly wrong with a child from their screams.

I would, have done and generally I think most parents do. As they have done for millennia. Do you have children?

Are you certain about this new type of screaming and shrieking that is prevalent?

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 19:10

@fitzwilliamdarcy

I'm not asking you to make that distinction. I'm always in sight and ear shot. If there's trouble, I'll know immediately.

Racket while playing is encouraged. Then they'll sit nicely and make conversation at dinner. Children are not adults and expectations must be realistic.

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 09/08/2023 19:12

I get that shrieking kids are annoying, but why on earth did you choose to go on holiday during the school holidays? Next time, either go out of season or choose an adult only hotel.