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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

642 replies

AnnoyedOnHoliday · 07/08/2023 14:26

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

OP posts:
AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:11

You sound bitter.

😂 You sound like you're out of any reasoned argument. You've been relentless during the thread to be fair, had to happen at some point.

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:14

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/08/2023 15:42

This x1000.

On my street we went from zero to 17 kids in a three-house radius, as the properties changed hands, so for the past six years I've been observing many children at many ages.

The sheer and utter obliviousness of them is disturbing and disheartening. It's as if they don't know or care that other people actually exist. Noise, running in and out of private front gardens, the shrieking and screaming, playing in the street, and never acknowledging when they've knocked into someone, knocked over a plant pot, anything.

The feral crowd next door to me put a substantial dent in the side of my car when swinging some sort of sticks around; I was on the phone and heard the child screech "Did I just dent that car?" It was a work call and by the time I ended and came out, no one was around. I confronted the father, he denied it even after I showed him the dent (I knew which kids were playing out there because I'd watched them before getting on the call) and then said "My kids will do as they please and make as much noise as they want." He's also the one who let his dog defecate on my front garden every day.

There is something about being raised on screens, being overly coddled, etc., that is is turning out these extremely self-centered and narcissistic children. Fates help us when they become adults.

Show quote history

I think your problem is that you basically can't stand young children, period. No child or parent is ever actually going to please you or meet your standards.

Spectre8 · 09/08/2023 17:17

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:14

I think your problem is that you basically can't stand young children, period. No child or parent is ever actually going to please you or meet your standards.

Show quote history

So are you okay is a child dents your car? Ah its just kids being kids hahahah yeah right!

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:18

No, I mean that the poster in general doesn't like children at all, which presumably includes all the ones who don't dent cars. She did state in another discussion elsewhere that she can't stand young children.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:19

You sound like you're out of any reasoned argument. You've been relentless during the thread to be fair, had to happen at some po

And the whole snarky " little darlings " stuff because people disagree, is 'reasoned'. 😁

If you've been challenged it's obviously because that poster " is the problem " not because they have a different opinion.

Actually YOU could, by that reasoned logic be ' the problem'. You could be antisocial, intolerant, bad tempered and want your own way ( not saying you are of course )

Fuckingfuming1 · 09/08/2023 17:21

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:14

I think your problem is that you basically can't stand young children, period. No child or parent is ever actually going to please you or meet your standards.

Show quote history

The standard is your child doesn’t damage of the people’s property. It’s not much to ask it really isn’t. Wait until the middle of the night and then put baseball bat through his windscreen.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:22

If I thought it was ok for myself, or indeed allow a child, to disturb people on holiday and not see how this was a problem then yeah, I would be.

Luckily I have consideration for others so I'm not. Unlike yourself.

Original poster
AnnoyedOnHoliday · 09/08/2023 17:24

user1477391263 · 09/08/2023 17:18

No, I mean that the poster in general doesn't like children at all, which presumably includes all the ones who don't dent cars. She did state in another discussion elsewhere that she can't stand young children.

You cannot mean me?

OP posts:
sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:28

Luckily I have consideration for others so I'm not. Unlike yourself.

You have no idea how considerate I am. Or my children.

But I think my reasoning does extend to what to expect from places I visit.

But you know, snark away, if reasoned replies run short.

WitchWithoutChips · 09/08/2023 17:29

Crikey, what an ill-tempered thread. I think I’ve pretty much read the whole thing, and certainly all of OP’s responses.

OP is entirely reasonable to expect that the children she encountered on her holiday should be appropriately supervised and disciplined where necessary.

However. In the face of such understandable disappointment I do wonder if it is easier to scrap with strangers online than to engage with the reality that although her DH had a lovely, thoughtful plan, he somewhat fucked up the execution. Caveat emptor and all that, and at a time when there is an absolute wealth of information online about individual hotels and honest guest reviews it is a very lame excuse to say that because the place looked quite nice, and fancy, and not especially child-oriented, he therefore he assumed there wouldn’t be (m)any children there.

I absolutely guarantee that OP’s gripes about the lack of child-free spaces, including a pool, could have been researched with a five minute Google (and, of course, if the website misleadingly claims that these spaces are available then there is recourse available to them). If I am spending way over my usual budget on a special trip then no way I am leaving this to chance or assumption.

user123212 · 09/08/2023 17:29

I think adults these days whine like kids when they have unrealistic expectations...

AkitaAtHome · 09/08/2023 17:30

Mojoj · 07/08/2023 14:41

Next time, choose an adults only hotel. And don't go during school holidays.

Exactly! Oh no, kids were in the pool having fun!

FarEast · 09/08/2023 17:32

Or have they said playing, laughing, talking normally, a shout here and there is fine. But constantly shrieking, shouting, running around a pool and into loungers, getting water on other adults isn't? The word here being constantly.

Yes @AccidentallyWesAnderson there's a definite & clear distinction between these - but there's a wedge of PPs here who have decided not to understand that. are they defending their own DCs' behaviour

The OP clearly stated there was a children's pool, but that children playing were dominating the main pool, to the extent that it was not possible for anyone else to do what they wanted to do in the pool - for example, swim a few leisurely laps, or float or whatever.

Why should children be allowed to dominate other people's use of a SHARED space? Especially when they have their own designated pool.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 17:35

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:08

I can imagine all the parents championing their wee Johnny's right to scream and runaround during the day would have something to say if a group of childless adults got pissed at night and kept up their little darling.

That would be ok thought wouldn't it, as that's how they let off steam no?

No, they're not kids.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 17:37

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:04

*I'm not telling kids on holiday at a family hotel that they have to play "quietly".

Kids need to make noise and stretch their psychological legs at some point in the day. It's the pool/beach/playground in the daytime or the restaurant in the evening.

A massive racket playing outdoors, followed by sitting nicely (no screens) and making nice, polite conversation in the restaurant in the evenings.*

You should be telling them that other people who have also paid to be there have just as much right to a nice holiday than they do, and they should be considerate of others whilst enjoying themselves. Not teaching them to do a big F U because they have to let off steam during the day. It's not one or the other.

So when, exactly are they allowed to make a racket?

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:37

No, they're not kids.

So kids are allowed to let off steam on holiday, but adults - who have every right to be there too - aren't? Right.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 17:39

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:37

No, they're not kids.

So kids are allowed to let off steam on holiday, but adults - who have every right to be there too - aren't? Right.

Not by getting shit faced and behaving like thugs at a family resort, no.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:39

Why should children be allowed to dominate other people's use of a SHARED space? Especially when they have their own designated pool.

It's a numbers game. Especially in the summer break. They dominate because there are more of them.

The hotel should have insisted on designated pools or adult only times.

The hotel is not taking responsibility to follow through on its 'chilled ' reputation.

And was therefore a misguided choice.

And yes , I couldn't agree with you more @WitchWithoutChips .

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:40

So when, exactly are they allowed to make a racket?

Off the top of my head... in a kid's club? Water park? A play park? Partaking in an activity solely for children? A children's pool? A very large open space like a beach? Your own villa?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 09/08/2023 17:41

FarEast · 09/08/2023 17:32

Or have they said playing, laughing, talking normally, a shout here and there is fine. But constantly shrieking, shouting, running around a pool and into loungers, getting water on other adults isn't? The word here being constantly.

Yes @AccidentallyWesAnderson there's a definite & clear distinction between these - but there's a wedge of PPs here who have decided not to understand that. are they defending their own DCs' behaviour

The OP clearly stated there was a children's pool, but that children playing were dominating the main pool, to the extent that it was not possible for anyone else to do what they wanted to do in the pool - for example, swim a few leisurely laps, or float or whatever.

Why should children be allowed to dominate other people's use of a SHARED space? Especially when they have their own designated pool.

Actually yes this. I’ve been lucky in any holidays I’ve been on in summer. Yes the odd irritating child in an adults pool but after I was swimming and one got kicked by mistake by me they left to go to their own pool and left me in peace! One place they wanted to go to the beach and I overheard one saying they’d seen jellyfish there so no not going there!

But kids need to know when to share, when to be a pita playing and when not to be. There’s loads of kids clubs when I’ve been abroad too in hotels which wise parents sign the kids up to.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:41

Not by getting shit faced and behaving like thugs at a family resort, no.

Sitting around laughing, getting drunk over a few bottles of wine, maybe a few cocktails late into the night is behaving like a thug is it? !

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:42

It's a family friendly resort. Not family only resort.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 09/08/2023 17:43

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 09/08/2023 17:40

So when, exactly are they allowed to make a racket?

Off the top of my head... in a kid's club? Water park? A play park? Partaking in an activity solely for children? A children's pool? A very large open space like a beach? Your own villa?

Or in their own home, or their parents' car with the windows closed.

It's galling that parents send their kids outdoors to scream, ffs. They don't want to hear it but have no problems inflicting it on everyone else.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 17:44

Sitting around laughing, getting drunk over a few bottles of wine, maybe a few cocktails late into the night is behaving like a thug is it? !

But why would that wake anyone up? If my DC had been around the pool all day, they'd be flat out.

DatumTarum · 09/08/2023 17:45

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune

With the windows closed? GrinGrinGrinGrin

Seen and not heard, in other words.