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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

642 replies

AnnoyedOnHoliday · 07/08/2023 14:26

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/08/2023 09:20

I do think holiday resort pools are a different thing from your local leisure centre pools, where people go to do their lengths and there are very often lanes for fast/slow swimming and a section for just mucking about. If I wanted to do lengths in a holiday pool, I’d try to go early, before the hordes descend.

I don’t recall who mentioned Warner hotels, but the ads have always put me off! Live music and entertainment - no thanks! I know they won’t be compulsory, but even so…

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/08/2023 09:31

In fact, want to avoid kids altogether, going somewhere without a pool would work

You know that adults like pools too, right? They're not just for children?

PinkCherryBlossoms · 09/08/2023 09:32

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 09/08/2023 09:20

I do think holiday resort pools are a different thing from your local leisure centre pools, where people go to do their lengths and there are very often lanes for fast/slow swimming and a section for just mucking about. If I wanted to do lengths in a holiday pool, I’d try to go early, before the hordes descend.

I don’t recall who mentioned Warner hotels, but the ads have always put me off! Live music and entertainment - no thanks! I know they won’t be compulsory, but even so…

Spot on.

I've also gone to a couple of places where the communal pools did some adult only hours. Seemed a sensible idea.

DangerousAlchemy · 09/08/2023 09:34

@dramoy though I have kids and I'd never let mine behave like this & even when they were little wouldn't allow them to shriek or run around the pool (dangerous) or splash people etc. That's really rude & entitled behaviour! Think the way some people parent now is absolutely appalling -no good manners instilled in their kids at all. I can't wait til my youngest child, DS (15), is 18 then i'll choose adults only hotels every single time!

DangerousAlchemy · 09/08/2023 09:43

You can't win on this thread OP! I can't bear badly behaved kids either. Most posters haven't even bothered to read all your comments & the ones that seem furious with you are clearly, CLEARLY the utterly shit parents who barely even glance up from their phones at their own kids on their holidays and DEFINITELY never tell their brats to pipe down! I'd be pissed off if families like this ruined my holiday too.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 09:47

& the ones that seem furious with you are clearly, CLEARLY the utterly shit parents who barely even glance up from their phones at their own kids on their holidays and DEFINITELY never tell their brats to pipe down! I'd be pissed off if families like this ruined my holiday too.

Tbh that is SUCH a childish reply. ( and sounds VERY furious 😁)

And if you read this it's a certain group who are " furious ".

@DangerousAlchemy

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 10:13

I've also gone to a couple of places where the communal pools did some adult only hours. Seemed a sensible idea.

This should be the case if the hotel is aware of the numbers of guests with children, which they would be. They are not helpless bystanders.

And there is no excuse for children running in the restaurant. And whilst children are the responsibility of parents, the hotel are responsible for the H&S of staff and there should be a firm mandate on that. I don't understand why there wasn't.

The hotel don't seem to be doing what it needs to do to maintain the ' chilled spa type ' atmosphere of its reputation. That seems to be a fiction.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 10:14

That’s outrageous. I have an 8yr old autistic child who wouldn’t DREAM of behaving like that! I’ve taught her the difference between right & wrong and yeah with her having autism it took a tiny bit more effort when she was small but now she knows exactly how to behave and is happy as can be. Having Autism is NOT an excuse to not parent their child, wow!

Basketballqueen · 09/08/2023 10:43

'Family friendly doesn’t mean = families get complete priority and screw everyone else'

It does mean the pools will be full of kids. Kids don't do laps in a pool unless made to.
They jump, and splash and shout and play and have the time of their lives. Add the fact it's a hotel with many, many children and it's going to be loud and noisy and splashy.

Still, I managed to get laps in by going earlier when kids were still at breakfast, or later when they were having their dinner...

AllOfThemWitches · 09/08/2023 10:47

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 10:14

That’s outrageous. I have an 8yr old autistic child who wouldn’t DREAM of behaving like that! I’ve taught her the difference between right & wrong and yeah with her having autism it took a tiny bit more effort when she was small but now she knows exactly how to behave and is happy as can be. Having Autism is NOT an excuse to not parent their child, wow!

Posts like this are such bullshit. I have a severely autistic kid and he would think nothing of climbing everything he's not supposed to, making loud noises, randomly laying on the floor. Please, do write a guide for those of us who have failed to teach our autistic kids to behave like neurotypical kids.

AllOfThemWitches · 09/08/2023 10:48

AlfietheSchnauzer · 09/08/2023 10:14

That’s outrageous. I have an 8yr old autistic child who wouldn’t DREAM of behaving like that! I’ve taught her the difference between right & wrong and yeah with her having autism it took a tiny bit more effort when she was small but now she knows exactly how to behave and is happy as can be. Having Autism is NOT an excuse to not parent their child, wow!

Also, good luck with the teenage years 😆

theyareonlynoodlesmichael · 09/08/2023 11:02

Sorry but YABU

Children make noise. Especially round a swimming pool.

Next time book adults-only out of the school holidays.

Qilin · 09/08/2023 11:04

Children screaming and shouting at the pool is acceptable.

Screaming isn't, or shouldn't, be acceptable.

Laughing, chatting, and a bit of loud shouting every so often - normal and acceptable.
Screaming, squealing, shrieking and shouting constantly - not acceptable.

I can't holiday in term time. I teach.
Until recently I couldn't go to adult only places as had a child of my own.

Family friendly doesn't mean children should be allowed to run riot and take over. They still should be expected to have parents supervising and ensuring they are behaving appropriately and not annoying other guests.

k1886 · 09/08/2023 11:16

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 10:13

I've also gone to a couple of places where the communal pools did some adult only hours. Seemed a sensible idea.

This should be the case if the hotel is aware of the numbers of guests with children, which they would be. They are not helpless bystanders.

And there is no excuse for children running in the restaurant. And whilst children are the responsibility of parents, the hotel are responsible for the H&S of staff and there should be a firm mandate on that. I don't understand why there wasn't.

The hotel don't seem to be doing what it needs to do to maintain the ' chilled spa type ' atmosphere of its reputation. That seems to be a fiction.

wow you really have an axe to grind with anyone who dare suggest they parent their kids?

guessing you are so triggered as you are the type of parent who has people frequently asking you to control your kids?

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 11:21

No

I think everyone should parent their kids.

But I think " rookie error " OP ended up wrong place and wrong time for what she was hoping.

And I'm still sitting around most of the morning waiting for someone, so i'll go on any thread that interests me.

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 11:22

guessing you are so triggered as you are the type of parent who has people frequently asking you to control your kids?

The only reason I could possibly have a different opinion obviously 😂👌

k1886 · 09/08/2023 11:25

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 11:21

No

I think everyone should parent their kids.

But I think " rookie error " OP ended up wrong place and wrong time for what she was hoping.

And I'm still sitting around most of the morning waiting for someone, so i'll go on any thread that interests me.

pretty sure OP said in original post she didn't book it, her DH did?

bit rich, you seem to be very hateful to anyone with a different opinion & you seem like you have a lot of time 2 put into that hobby

Sunandsea26 · 09/08/2023 11:25

Definitely avoid the summer holidays! I would never ever have travelled in school holidays if I didn’t have kids. Way more expensive too.
think it’s kind of to be expected but I agree that behaviour is not something I’d let my kids do. However you can’t control how others parent so adults only and our of holidays next time!

Basketballqueen · 09/08/2023 11:27

Why anyone would go to a family hotel in the middle of the school hols is beyond me! Even we don't, and we ave kids!
It's AIRBnB or self catering villa perhaps with the occasional night or two at a Eurocamp or hotel at most, all the way!

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 11:28

*pretty sure OP said in original post she didn't book it, her DH did?

bit rich, you seem to be very hateful to anyone with a different opinion & you seem like you have a lot of time 2 put into that hobby*

Yep her DH booked it.

If you think ' disagreeing' is hateful so be it. You sound pretty hateful too.

I have loads of time right now, hospital is like that.

Basketballqueen · 09/08/2023 11:28

'guessing you are so triggered as you are the type of parent who has people frequently asking you to control your kids?

The only reason I could possibly have a different opinion obviously 😂👌'

It is possible to see why kids might go mad at a resort pool while having well behaved, well-managed kids!

Str3bor · 09/08/2023 11:55

My god, are the majority of people responding childless? book an adults only hotel if you don’t want to be disturbed by kids in the 6 weeks holidays or go out of term time.

i parent my kids but I won’t stop them jumping and playing in the pool, they love the pool on holiday. If someone was trying to get their 20 lengths in a pool in a family hotel in the school holidays whilst kids are playing I’d say you were in the wrong hotel or come at the wrong time.

I go away in the school holidays without my kids and always book an adult only hotel, if I don’t have my own kids I don’t want to have to deal with other peoples.

Freneg98 · 09/08/2023 12:02

YABU about children having fun and being noisy in the pool. Those families also paid for the enjoyment of the pool.
YANBU about the behaviour in the restaurant though, it's rude and often dangerous as there are hot dishes being carried around.
Maybe book adults-only holidays from now on though?

MrsB74 · 09/08/2023 12:07

We’re not long back from a holiday on mainland Europe. All the children were really well behaved (mine are teens and not prone to shrieking!) - a bit of excitement in the pool from some younger children, but nothing ridiculous and parents paid attention. Not many Brits in the resort though! I have children and don’t mind some noise and fun, but would never have allowed them to shriek or run around in a restaurant. That’s unacceptable. They were also told to mind their noise when playing out. You only have to look at discipline issues in schools now to realise how much parenting standards have slipped.

SerafinasGoose · 09/08/2023 12:09

sunglassesonthetable · 09/08/2023 09:47

& the ones that seem furious with you are clearly, CLEARLY the utterly shit parents who barely even glance up from their phones at their own kids on their holidays and DEFINITELY never tell their brats to pipe down! I'd be pissed off if families like this ruined my holiday too.

Tbh that is SUCH a childish reply. ( and sounds VERY furious 😁)

And if you read this it's a certain group who are " furious ".

@DangerousAlchemy

You can tell that from a line of black and white font? Amazing.

I don't think OP's expectations are entirely realistic, but it's undeniable that she has some legitimate complaints.

Whenever this type of discussion comes up, it's very obvious which type of parents immediately become defensive.