AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

Absolutely ridiculous post.

Maybe don't hang around the one thing these tourist traps have for kids to do. I don't stay in hotels as I don't like crowded spaces, I don't like having to constantly pay attention to the demands of unconnected adults that can't figure out to avoid school holidays or work an earplug either. Children get downtime too. Sorry you don't like that their parents decided to "splash out" on the same resort as you. If you need your space to be without sections of society then look for that next time. Going to villas etc works best for me, but in a hotel it's going to be busy, loud and you've got to expect that.

Nope, I just think children shouldn't shriek and be unruly in public and annoy others who have a right to be there too, no matter where it is. If you find that sarky and patronising then that's your problem.

You know I was talking about your rude questions earlier. But I expect manners apply to other people.

Presumably everyone was a paying guest and had a right to be there. No one was trespassing.

Kids around pools behave a certain way. And not in a "calm and spa like" way. High Summer brings the kids.

The OP was in the wrong hotel for her needs.

Hotels should consider having "child and adult" pool time, and an "adult only" pool time, at various times during the day.

Also, I think there should be a sectioned off part of the restaurant for parents and kids at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Adults with no kids in one part, adults + kids in the other. Let the families drive each other mad, but leave the grown ups w/o kids on their own I say! At least your ears and legs will be safe.

Anyone who wants an adult break, should NEVER go in the six week long seventh circle of hell that is the school holidays. If it's not possible to go either side of that, then there are other options.

No hotel is safe from kids in the holidays.

*I find all the 'children behave much worse now and I know because I was so much better as a child!' posts so funny. If you asked any if the children that annoyed OP if they were allowed to make lots of noise and disturb others they'd say of course not. They would assure you that their parents tell them off lots - in fact, they're very unfair and tell them off when they're doing nothing wrong at all! - and that they don't shout and scream. Children are not reliable witnesses, and 30+ years doesn't make the memory sharper either.

As for the 'children have started making some new noise that was unknown until recently' - don't be so ridiculous, children haven't started shrieking in a new pitch, you're just getting old. It's OK, it happens to everyone.*

👍🏻 Downfall of Society generally.

You are not being unreasonable OP. There are too many rude, selfish, entitled cunts with children, dogs, power tools, sound systems, etc that absolutely give no fucks whatsoever about disturbing anyone else’s peace.

"Family friendly" doesn't mean that manners and consideration for others can be dropped.

The pool is for the enjoyment of everyone; doing something so noisily that it infringes on others' enjoyment is rude an obnoxious. There is no automatic right for kids to shriek and scream, nor any need for it.

Adults only every time

Agree about the segregated times and areas. Should apply to planes as well.

Also the majority of children are fine it’s the LOUD families that are the true horror.

We had a shared pool for a few days last summer 3 families their kids quietly pootling and playing - absolutely fine. Then the LOUD family arrive and the place becomes intolerable.

We were a quiet family when ours were young and now our teens are pretty intolerant themselves of rackety kids. We’re self catering with our own pool this year.

Does anyone else feel like there has been a significant uptick in “moaning about children” posts since Mumsnet started the Childfree section?

I think it was always likely that this was going to happen. If you create a reason for childfree-by-choice people to hang around Mumsnet, it’s inevitable that they’re going to start threads/post on threads on other parts of the site as well, which will inevitably cause a shift in tone and in the balance of views.

As for the original post? Children shouldn’t be allowed to scream or run around in restaurants. However, in a swimming pool, it’s kind of what they do. Book an adults-only hotel in future if it bothers you.

*Family friendly" doesn't mean that manners and consideration for others can be dropped.

The pool is for the enjoyment of everyone; doing something so noisily that it infringes on others' enjoyment is rude an obnoxious. There is no automatic right for kids to shriek and scream, nor any need for it.*

There would be different noise expectations at different types of pool and if the higher percentage of customers are kids it will be noisier since the pool is for the enjoyment of everyone.

Be realistic and go to the type that suits you.

*Family friendly" doesn't mean that manners and consideration for others can be dropped.

The pool is for the enjoyment of everyone; doing something so noisily that it infringes on others' enjoyment is rude an obnoxious. There is no automatic right for kids to shriek and scream, nor any need for it.**

There would be different noise expectations at different types of pool and if the higher percentage of customers are kids it will be noisier since the pool is for the enjoyment of everyone.

Be realistic and go to the type that suits you

YANBU but you must research the hotel next time. If it's advertising family friendly features, kids pool/entertainment then avoid it like the plague. We just came back from a 5* resort that's geared towards families. Had a fantastic time but I felt very sorry for the people without kids there. Every mealtime was full of shrieking kids, ipad and iphone videos blaring on tables, every pool taken over by pre-teens all day long. It's the reality of holidaying with kids. Splashing in pools or running around sun loungers is not forbidden so there's no reason for parents to forbid their kids to do so. A single child running or shouting isn't much of an issue but it's the multiplier factor that makes it unbearable.

There are plenty of boutique hotels and luxury hotels that are adults only for good reason.

There are plenty of boutique hotels and luxury hotels that are adults only for good reason.

Exactly

Yep. Mistake made going in school holidays. It shouldn’t be the case that people have to avoid school hols to avoid other peoples feral children, but unfortunately that’s the reality these days. I absolutely do not go anywhere on holiday during school holidays, and even avoid weekends too by going on mid week short breaks. I used to challenge parents who allowed their children to behave badly round other people, ie crawling under tables when I was eating a meal, screaming next to me when trying to have conversations, but you can’t argue with stupid unfortunately, and I just can no longer be arsed with trying to reason with people who don’t care……

There are plenty of 5 star hotels that restrict children's use of a pool to certain set hours for exactly this and these are far more common than fully child friendly 5 star hotels. You made the wrong booking. It would be like me booking a dog friendly hotel then complaining about the dogs.

I would have gone before or after main school holidays. My MIL also goes on holiday in Aug and complains it's busy and full of children. She's retired so could go any other time...

Or - and I realise this seems to be a crazy suggestion - people could just try and parent properly and instil manners and consideration for others into their kids? Which is possible whilst still having fun?

It's pretty rare that a child will scream continuously though - it's just that there are always multiple DC at swimming pools in the Summer.

So my DC might scream a bit when they initially jump in and then swim around for a bit, then jump in again and so on.

They'll be loads of other kids doing this as well but at different times so the overall noise seems incessant but it's actually sporadic noise from the individual child.

I know there will be the odd child that will be loud all the time but there could be something else going on there.

Another vote for adult only resorts. Stayed at a great one in Las Palmas last year during October half term. How we laughed walking past the screaming & shrieking ‘fun’ of neighbouring hotels to the joyous calm of our hotel. Met a few other teachers at our resort who had the same tactic.

Don’t blame you for being annoyed with this but…it’s the summer holidays and possibly if you are child free yourselves then an adult oriented hotel would have been better.

This is one of the reasons I holiday during term time.
I think a bit of noise is to be expected however running around during meal times is rude. I'm on the fence with the pool. Unreasonable solasing/shrieking constantly but I don't think the pool is designed primarily for swimming. In my experience the majority of holiday jakers use it to cool off and maybe do a few days hearted lebths/widths. I'd say an indoor pool would be more suited to swimming. I also don't think it's right to call it thecadults pool. It's only suitable anyone meeting minimum height/competency levels. If outside of UK its often down to you/parent to carry out your own risk assessment.
Have you considered ancadult only complex or alternative timings.

Or - and I realise this seems to be a crazy suggestion - people could just try and parent properly and instil manners and consideration for others into their kids? Which is possible whilst still having fun?

Loaded suggestion.

Manners and consideration for others are very desirable but from this thread I think we could debate all day about what constitutes appropriate behaviour around a pool for a child.

Seems to me any noise, splashing, loud laughter, shrieks of delight, running, jumping and screaming out would be frowned on. Multiply that by the school holidays and we are back at the downfall of society.

*It's pretty rare that a child will scream continuously though - it's just that there are always multiple DC at swimming pools in the Summer.

So my DC might scream a bit when they initially jump in and then swim around for a bit, then jump in again and so on.

They'll be loads of other kids doing this as well but at different times so the overall noise seems incessant but it's actually sporadic noise from the individual child.

I know there will be the odd child that will be loud all the time but there could be something else going on there.*

But this is so reasonable. Posters prefer general 'downfall of parenting"