AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

I was on holiday with extended family recently. My sister in law was really lax with her kids. She barely watched them in the pool (totally gave me the fear as they are not strong swimmers) and let them run around in restaurants much like you describe. I was embarrassed to be with her at times and it also made it much harder for me to keep my own kids under control because they didn’t understand why they had to stay seated at the table until we finished eating when their cousins didn’t. You’re not being unreasonable. Unfortunately there are a many people who are just selfish and inconsiderate.

Seems so many kids are feral and undisciplined- endlessly hyper ones are definitely on the increase.
Manic kids that screech and shriek - hellions on a plane and in a cafe or even pubs!

Crotch goblins. Someone called them that🤣) ruining other’s peace and quiet.

I’d have hated it too, op,

Well to be honest..
In Costa in a gentrified local suburb it's hell with middle class parents who don't know how to or don't bother to parent. But Costa in the working class neighbourhood nearby to my estate is a much pleasanter experience with parents who actually tell their kids off. Ok you can't generalise I suppose but there's a definite difference. Even men are more polite in the WC area.. hold doors open, move out of your way. They just walk into you into the MC area; like you aren't there!!

It's the same with my mates; my friends from my working class background have well behaved children but my friend who is upper middle class actually can't take her children anywhere as they are so naughty.

So... don't go to anywhere posh eg 5 star where there will be kids especially (sorry) UK kids as they won't get disciplined and generally won't have any manners or know how to behave.

*Exactly.

Kids need to adapt to the world around them, not the other way round. They are not full members of society yet.

Kids are not adults and don't have the same responsibilities OR privileges as adults. There is a reason every culture since the dawn of humankind has created coming-of-age rituals to distinguish when people leave childhood and assume the responsibilities and accountability of fully adult members. Meanwhile, they shouldn't be allowed by their parents to disturb others.*

Thanks for the lecture.

God alive. Don't go and sit by a pool in the summer holidays then. They are full of happy children shouting, laughing, jumping, splashing and probably shrieking. Literally all over Europe.

Running round a pool area isn't particularly smart because it is normally pretty slippy, crowded and there are lots of hard surfaces around.

Restaurants also a hard no for obvious reasons.

If your kids want to run around like crazy the beach is probably a better place.

That's a whole different question. Presumably OP hasn't gone to relax in a playground for her birthday break.

That's a whole different question. Presumably OP hasn't gone to relax in a playground for her birthday break.

No she was at the pool in a family friendly hotel during the school holidays.

😂😂🤦‍♀️

YANBU however once my dc reach 16 it's adults only from then on. I too don't want to hear screaming kids on my holiday.

Gentle parenting.....in other words..scream all you like Darling, express yourself.

I was in a hotel about 6 months ago and there were two boys about 6 and 10 absolutely RUNNING amok. Screaming, running into people, throwing beermats etc and a few tables complained and the manager went over to the "Mommy" who didn't give a shit that her kids were causing carnage and her response was....Billy Darling, the big man says you are being too loud, the big man doesn't like children, maybe you can be a bit quieter for the big man...the child screamed louder and she turns back to the manager and said...awwhh he said no, he is enjoying himself, we practice gentle parenting and he is absolutely fine.

At that stage the people she was with looked suitably embarrassed but she didn't care.

Definitely

We didn’t let our kids scream or annoy others when they were little. We were in the minority then. Hope you still
enjoyed the break OP.

No-one should be running near a pool in case they slip on a wet surface and crack their head open; or fall into the pool and drown; or crash into someone else, and cause them to slip and break something, or drown. Basic safety rules.

No-one needs to shriek incessantly to have fun. As a pp highlighted, it's unsafe around any body of water, where a shriek should only indicate danger, and raise the alarm. Again, absolutely basic.

Too many parents are doing a terrible job, and not teaching fundamental life and social skills. Which makes society less pleasant and less safe for all of us.

Still, the planet is going to have the last word :D

Yanbu!! I did a spa break last weekend and the pool was taken over by a family with four kids! I wanted to get my lengths in (15m pool) so I just stuck routinely to my straight line up one side of the pool. Etc hall y the kids got the message that they didn’t need to take over the whole pool but it was really difficult to relax particularly when I was there on a spa break. When I was on a sun lounger the kids started jumping in and out of the pool and kept splashing and getting my book wet… the parents could’ve asked their kids to perhaps move up a bit so sun loungers weren’t in range but they didn’t! And it was pretty obvious I was getting splashed! It was a nightmare and reminded me why I only book adult only hotels! Although we are due a little one in January!!! So probably going to have to join the family hotel gang although I’d like to think I’ll be more aware than most parents are! I don’t remember being like that as a young kid.

I wouldn't necessarily expect a lot of families with kids at a spa-type hotel and your experience would have definitely pissed me off.... but I have a very low tolerance for kids in general.

I often wonder why no-one's started a child-free airline.

I think it's to be expected during school holidays

You think that badly-behaved DC and appalling parenting "are to be expected"?

*Too many parents are doing a terrible job, and not teaching fundamental life and social skills. Which makes society less pleasant and less safe for all of us.

Still, the planet is going to have the last word :D*

And all the noisy, shouting kids racing around the pool are going to have to fix it for us.

This started out as a thread about OP's hotel choice and now ALWAYS we have the GENERAL DOWNFALL of SOCIETY.

It's the summer holidays and kids have been let out of their temporary prisons..
I mean schools. I don't blame them for going mad!

It wasn't about the OP's hotel choice, it's about the unacceptable behaviour of children in public, family friendly venue or otherwise.

Let me guess, I bet you let your children watch phones/tablets with the sound up in public?

*It wasn't about the OP's hotel choice, it's about the unacceptable behaviour of children in public, family friendly venue or otherwise.

Let me guess, I bet you let your children watch phones/tablets with the sound up in public*

No I don't agree. I think it's about hotel choices.

And let me guess, you're generally a rude person?

I'm more considerate of others than you appear to be.

Hmmm I am torn between YANBU and YABU. If you want a nice quiet luxurious stay (which I fully empathise with, having once stayed in a hotel for a spa package where they had kids swimming lessons in the pool all day!) then book an adults only hotel or go midweek during term time. That said parents should be controlling their kids and it drives me mad when they don't. But, easier said than done with very young ones sometimes. No matter how much we try to teach our two year old about 'inside voice' she will occasionally start yelling!

I'm more considerate of others than you appear to be.

No , you have no idea how considerate I am or not.

And actually the way you've spoken on here, and OP, snarky , sarcastic, and patronising doesn't really highlight your social skills very much.

I don't like badly behaved kids either.

But I think if there's one place you're going to get noisy, running, shouting, splashing, kids is around a pool in July. And I'm TOTALLY good with that.

OP was after a calm , spa like atmosphere.

You do the calculations.

children running round restaurants and shrieking, and taking over a whole pool is not to be expected at any time. I never let my children behave like that and neither did any of my friends.

Nope, I just think children shouldn't shriek and be unruly in public and annoy others who have a right to be there too, no matter where it is. If you find that sarky and patronising then that's your problem.

I find all the 'children behave much worse now and I know because I was so much better as a child!' posts so funny. If you asked any if the children that annoyed OP if they were allowed to make lots of noise and disturb others they'd say of course not. They would assure you that their parents tell them off lots - in fact, they're very unfair and tell them off when they're doing nothing wrong at all! - and that they don't shout and scream. Children are not reliable witnesses, and 30+ years doesn't make the memory sharper either.

As for the 'children have started making some new noise that was unknown until recently' - don't be so ridiculous, children haven't started shrieking in a new pitch, you're just getting old. It's OK, it happens to everyone.