AIBU to be cheesed off with shrieking kids on holiday?

[AnnoyedOnHoliday]

Recently my DP took me on an amazing surprise holiday for my birthday a few weeks ago, 4 nights in a beautiful 5 star hotel - definitely a big treat and really outside of our normal budget so obviously wanted to enjoy it to the absolutely maximum. Hotel was absolutely beautiful and facilities/staff were pretty faultless.

I don't want to say it was ruined but definitely marred by the amount of unruly children. The main pool of the hotel had two pool - a smaller shallow one for kids and another larger one bit more suitable for being able to get a proper swim in. Everyday the main pool as well as the kids one was taken over by kids shrieking in rubber rings, splashing and jumping as well as just being smack bang in the centre of the pool so hard to swim. The area was basically taken over by the constant noise of shouting, screaming, crying and small children sprinting into your sun lounger every two seconds. I found it really hard to concentrate on unwinding and couldn't concentrate on reading my book as so noisy and chaotic and obviously found using the pool for swimming quite annoying also.

The hotel was very much in the countryside so we ate the really great hotel restaurant quite a few breakfasts, lunches and 2 dinners. Every single time, early in the morning, late at night children were sprinting up and down the dining room, running into waiters, more of that shrieking again. More examples but you get the idea.

It seemed to be happening in many different families and every single time I'd look over and they'd be just ignoring their kids or encouraging them to run around so they could have drinks/eat their meal without having to deal with them and 9 times out of 10, I'd never see them being reprimanded for being disruptive.

I get that looking after small children is full on and stressful (I'm really not talking about kids crying/distressed as I know that cannot be helped - referencing the running around shrieking behaviour) but AIBU to think to think it's a bit out of order to just zone out and let everyone have their meals and relaxing time ruined because you're in 'holiday mode' and want some time off parenting?

It just felt a bit jarring that we'd paid to be on holiday too and were basically having to endure everyone else kids.

that doesn't solve the problem that children, and the parents of those children, are totally incapable of existing in a society that has members other than them.

And will never learn if the rest of us have to stay away from them (for our own sanity)

It is about time people remembered that we are a society and all need to rub along. That goes for older people, younger people not playing their music loud without headphones, shrieking children all over the place etc etc.

*that doesn't solve the problem that children, and the parents of those children, are totally incapable of existing in a society that has members other than them.

And will never learn if the rest of us have to stay away from them (for our own sanity)

It is about time people remembered that we are a society and all need to rub along. That goes for older people, younger people not playing their music loud without headphones, shrieking children all over the place etc etc.*

Doesn't solve the problem that some people can't pick the right hotel.

We never go away during school holidays for this reason

You are not in the least unreasonable. I really don’t understand what goes through the heads of some parents but they are teaching their offspring social skills which are seriously lacking. I can only assume it’s idleness on the part of the parents. I am a grandmother four times over my grandchildren are expected to maintain good manners which is basically consideration for others. No one expects children to be seen and not heard, I like to see them having fun but there is a line that should not be crossed.
I think my elder son put it rather well when he said, you must discipline your children or society will discipline them for you. Maybe not today or this year but if you bring up selfish little brats then you are letting them down in the long run. No one will like them, they will have relationships difficulties and it will be your fault!
In years to come I wonder if the same people who think you are unreasonable will also be advising someone on here to get rid of their selfish partner? Probably. 🙄

It certainly wasn't when mine were young. They could get a bit loud and excitable at times, but none of that awful,screeching you hear now. Not that they, or their friends, would have been allowed to get away with it.

Children are part of society, yes and we should tolerate them in society, but they are not the centre of the universe and should be taught to understand appropriate behaviour in public.

I do despair about what some of them are going to be like as adults.

YANBU but I think it’s important to remember that the parents have paid for a nice holiday too. Children also have to learn how to behave in restaurants etc - so there will always be some putting others through pain while they learn how to behave in public. But I have no tolerance for parents who are not trying and/or those who have children running around restaurants etc after say 7:30/8pm - mine always knew this was either bedtime or grown up time. If they were allowed to stay up it was on the condition they could read, listen to stories on tape or play quietly. Running around was not accepted (quietly exploring with us was).

When we book I always look for hotels that have the least tempting and most limited facilities for children - and an adult only only pool. This gives you more choice than adult only hotels. Like others say avoid the school holidays too (don’t forget some European countries start holidays sooner than the UK). Booking/going for your meal a little later in the evening and requesting a quiet table can also help.

Oh Jesus when is this site gonna change its name to childhaternet
Kids scream and make noise.
Sorry if it's annoying
Go to adult only and why would you ho in school hols??

Yep this!

Good point.

I'd like to know where there are adult-only supermarkets, trains etc.

There don't even seem to be adult-only pubs where I live. A friend and I had our lunch ruined by 2 children marching round a pub garden blowing ear-piercing whistles a couple of weeks ago. We had to go and sit inside, which was bloody disappointing, as we'd gone to that pub specifically because it has a lovely garden.

Children behave in the way those who are (supposed to be) guiding them show them or in most cases fail to show them. I only hate the little brats whose parents have failed to parent.

Well if dogs in a dog friendly hotel were allows to run about, bark constantly and get in the way of waiters/waitresses then I'd expect other patrons to be pissed off.

What an ironic username you have

Well if dogs in a dog friendly hotel were allows to run about, bark constantly and get in the way of waiters/waitresses then I'd expect other patrons to be pissed off.

You haven't mentioned how the dogs should behave around the pool.

Can they bark, jump, roll, wag , splash ?
And especially during dog holidays when there a hoards so them about.

Not one person on this thread has said that dogs should run in the. restaurant .

Restaurants: yanbu
Pool: yabu, if they were just playing and splashing about.

Pretty much this

There is no way me and my sister would gotten away with shrieking and bothering people anywhere we went - my parents would not have let us get away with that and always made us aware that there other people around us and to be respective.

Many of us still parent this way and find these wild out of control families equally as annoying - and that with sympathy for parent's clearly trying their best but having having a mare of a day.

Actually think it worse post covid and not confined to kids - long train journeys with adults playing loud music and shouting and screaming now seem to be much more frequent and annoying.

If you have the option child free hotels help to avoid issue in future.

Kept on a leash and out of the way from other patrons. A bit worrying that you need explaining how dogs should be in public. Should dogs even be around pools? A bit unhygienic and a health and safety problem no?

Adult only hotel next time - and don’t go during school holidays! I have kids and I don’t go during school holidays to avoid what you’ve experienced 😂 we break a good 2-3 weeks earlier so we get in there early and we pay less 😂😂.

Kept on a leash and out of the way from other patrons. A bit worrying that you need explaining how dogs should be in public. Should dogs even be around pools? A bit unhygienic and a health and safety problem no?

You're not really worried about my dog ? 😉

But 👍🏻

I agree it is unacceptable. As for it being school holidays,yes there will be more kids around but it doesn't mean people should have to put up with poor behaviour. The once my boyfriend and I went for a meal where I replied,away from children please, when I was asked if we wanted a table for two. He was mortified when i said this. I don't want to habe to deal.with potentially naughty children. I love kids but I don't want to have my experience spoilt by lax parenting

Didn't we have this exact same thread about a week ago?

You need an adults only hotel (there are many of them). If you go on holiday to a hotel you have absolutely no control whatsoever over who else is sharing your space. This is exactly why I don't do hotel holidays.

YANBU but if I wanted to truly relaxing experience I would only ever book adult only

Kept on a leash and out of the way from other patrons

I was wholeheartedly endorsing this, then realized it referred to dogs, not children! 😂

Does anyone else feel like there has been a significant uptick in “moaning about children” posts since Mumsnet started the Childfree section?

No. Which makes sense, because (contrary to what those opposed posited would happen), the CF board doesn’t have loads of threads moaning about kids.

Since then there’s been a pretty determined effort to link everything to the board, but I’m afraid the truth is that many parents dislike kids that aren’t theirs. ‘Twas ever thus.