Office downstairs making me really uncomfortable

[Officeprobs]

I moved into a new office two months ago. There are only three offices in the building and one company has two rooms downstairs whilst I have the office upstairs, and then there is a small office a corridor down from me. It’s within my budget compared to anything else I have seen and just really lovely. However, I introduced myself to the downstairs office just to say hi and to ask them for the toilet codes. The guy seemed nice. But there is another man who refuses to acknowledge any of me or the women who work in my office.

On Monday, I was waiting to be picked up outside with two of my colleagues. We weren’t talking loudly and were just standing. As the man approached one colleague said hello, he swerved her ignoring her, and went inside.

Today again I was outside about to leave standing on the corner outside of the building, he swang round the corner and nearly hit me, and as approaching didn’t slow until the last minute when I quickly stood out of the way.

I didn’t know what to do so just said ‘that was close’, he looked straight at me, and walked past.

I’m trying to keep myself to myself but it’s only a small building so it’s impossible not to see him at least once a day - ie: when leaving at the end of the day or nipping out to grab lunch.

They've just left as I stay until six, and I heard him locking the entrance despite knowing I am still here (luckily I have my own set of keys).

It’s just feeling very hostile and I don’t know what to do or what he’s thinking of us. We are quiet and respectful, polite and we do not bother them. I ensure we continue this way because I love the office!

Any advice?

Indeed, posters tying themselves in knots to justify swerving threateningly towards someone in a car.

I’d be asking his colleagues if he’s always such a chatty bloke/ignorant around woman etc - or that his complete blanking does make you and colleagues feel uncomfortable and is this normal for him around new people or just women?

they either take on board the feedback about their employee/partner etc or all start blanking you but it’s the only way you’ll find out anything?

@Treesinmygarden
Yes, I am aware of being bullied, just almost impossible to prove as they don't often do things in front of others, and a lot of it looks like a one off, so if they're pulled up on it they say "oops, forgot very sorry" or do a major "oh my poor mental health can't cope with being pulled up" and if I say I'm not happy then I look petty.
No HR department because we're too small.
Raising it gets sympathy - they give the impression they believe me but I suspect they then go to the other side and do the same. They're reluctant to do anything even on the odd occasion there has been proof because they don't like upsetting apple carts.

Of others around one person has tried saying something - so now they discount their accounts as they "will back me", most people won't notice because they're not in enough to realise it's consistent, and others are too scared to speak up because they can see anyone who does gets similar treatment.

You poor pet! I've been bullied more than once in my working life and it's just shit!

I work in Employee Relations and I see this shit all the time. The bullies are careful and subtle. The only way to do anything about them is to take out a grievance/Dignity at Work complaint, and even then you are unlikely to achieve an outcome that is satisfactory to you.

Please, please do not ever consider harming yourself. This job, and these people, simply aren't worth that.

The best thing you can do, is to get out of that toxic environment. Move on somewhere else, where you will be treated with respect. I wish I had done that years ago but am too close to retirement to go anywhere else now.

You should avail of some counselling too - I'm guessing your workplace doesn't have any but talk to your GP. You are worth so much more xx

I was thinking this too. I can’t remember where I read about this to recall what religion/culture it is.