Have you ever been ‘outed’ on Mumsnet

[Thebigblueballoon]

There are so many threads now where people feel they might be ‘outed’.
Have you ever recognised somebody or been recognised on Mumsnet?

Not that I know of. But I've discovered DH's exW on here (they share a child so still in our life, so to speak) so that's been interesting...
She doesn't know

I haven’t I don’t think, but I have outed someone 😄 oops. Was embarrassing. A woman posted about how she found out she was pregnant while she was giving birth. Then told the story at a baby group and I was like ‘oh did you post about that on mumsnet?’ 😂 see her in sainos sometimes. My new baby actually has her kid’s name now come to think of it!

Also not outing-related but I have named a Mumsnetter’s baby. People forget that MN is actually full of real life people - or it used to be at least!

Me too and not only with her but with others also as she shared my info . She trawled through all my messages and I had posted some vulnerable stuff . It has taken me 10 years to mostly forget and hold my head up again
just name changed again 😂

In case it puts any sister's minds at rest, when I realised it was my sister I did not go through her previous posts at all and never would.

I haven’t been recognised , but I posted something once about a gripe about my local community and it got a lot of replies from locals agreeing.

I met up with a friend a few days later who made reference to it - not the thread, but the gripe - in a specific way that made me feel sure she’d read it. I don’t think she knew I started it though! And I don’t know if she commented or just read!

I change my username a lot and post a lot too, so I don’t know if anyone has secretly recognised me. I often change unimportant details to not be outed though (gender of my children etc).

I recognised someone once as I was the subject of an AIBU 😂 it was a glorious thread of 400+ posts where she mostly had her arse handed to her. I had to sit on my hands not to chime in, but it was very satisfying and entertaining.

I recognised a friend on here from her post in the litter tray. I didn't tell her at the time because her cat was really sick.
I've since mentioned it but also said I didn't look for any other of her posts because I think she uses mn for some support she needs. I name change all the time.

Oh God… please… please 😂🧐😂

Some people have usernames that I really hope are deliberate decoys, as if they are genuine, they instantly give you away - sometimes even to people who don't actually know you, but who are horribly nosey and also a bit adept at Googling.

I sometimes think that some of the name threads might be started deliberately to catch people out - kind of like you do in Cluedo where you set a trap to get them to squeal.

WhatAboutLetticeAsABabyName: "I read a book from the 1940s and there was a relatable character in it called Lettice. I'm expecting my baby DD in three months' time and I've really fallen in love with the idea of giving her that name. Does anybody know any Lettices in real life - and do people make the obvious jokes non-stop?"

JenniferGreensladeOfWinterGardensLittleThrumpleyP129RD: "My real name is Lettice! Yes, you do get the odd wag asking you 'hilarious' questions, like 'Did you vote romaine in the Brexit referendum?!' or 'Do you prefer little gems to massive diamonds?!' - but otherwise, I like having a strong, unusual name. Go for it!"

WhatAboutLetticeAsABabyName: "I KNEW it was you, you nasty cow, Lettice Persephone Ramsbottom - you ran off with my Darren at OUR engagement party in Bridgend, didn't you?! It was obvious from your thread asking for gorgonzola recipes, as you've always wanged on about how much you love cheese and Mussolini ever since the first day I met you!"

JenniferGreensladeOfWinterGardensLittleThrumpleyP129RD: "Oh, poo...."

I’ve just been off searching for the thread but I can’t find it and I’m raging 😂

Ah sorry @Thebigblueballoon i didn’t tag you. Clearly I am not mumsnet adept

I've recognised someone who posted a picture of herself asking for advice about hair. I would never tell them in 'real life' that I'd seen them on here.

No. Never. Either way.

I’ve just NC to post here too! Sorry for you @Dogbirdwatching . Something similar happened to me. The nosiest bitch imaginable who I had always thought was a solid friend trawled through my posts under an old UN and told a mutual friend. I realised in dribs and drabs that both knew stuff I had only mentioned here and never discussed with them. It was horrible when the penny finally dropped. I backed out of both friendships and felt very very hurt. I’m extremely cautious now, switch around information and NC regularly. Be careful, fellow posters, you don’t know who might use what as ammunition against you.

No, nobody will have a clue who am I

Exactly the same thing @Trumplestiltskin i have never felt so
violated in my life and also wondering all
the time who she shared it with . I realise now of course they were not true friends .

I haven't recognised anyone and nobody has said they've recognised me. Although I did get a MN related saying meme the other day 🤔
Off to name change 😊

I have been outed on here. During the worst time of my life, my lovely cousin (who I had not talked to in decades) recognized me and provided tremendous support over the next few weeks. It was an incredible gift that she had the courage to reach out and I'm eternally grateful.

I was also stalked and doxed here and on Reddit and Tattle, during that same horrendous time. It is amazing the lengths people will go to, in order to see if you are real or a troll. Posting pictures of me at work, trolling all of my past posts and user names (they connected them), picking apart every single post I'd made in the many years I've been here. Posting on funeral notice and picking apart the wording, stalking my Facebook and LinkedIn. Such hard work to kick someone when they are at their lowest.

I've not posted here for months now, but finally came to realize that the support I've found here is more precious than the vile outpouring from those people.

I recognised one of my closest friends practically the moment I joined MN. A massive coincidence when you consider how big the site is. I have never looked back at any of her old threads, though, any more than I would look through her underwear drawer!

That is horrendous, I'm so sorry 😔

No but I had to bite my tongue to stop myself outing myself

I had written a document which was used nationally by all schools. 2 people were arguing about what it meant (it was the legal aspect and something that I hadn't actually been allowed to put into plainer English).

I posted to say it meant XXX and YYY was the legislation. I gave a couple of examples of where it might apply. There was then a massive pile on to say that I was wrong. 1 person was the self proclaimed expert at the time and was actually often wrong as others regularly pointed out (they no longer post) I had to stop myself outing me

I did suggest that they contacted the authors on the generic enquiry email!

About 7 years ago I inadvertently found out who a poster was- they posted about something that only about 20 people knew about and I already knew where they worked from a previous post. Let's just say that what she posted wasn't always the accurate view of life!

Yes, I recognised someone who described a situation local to me. I did message to let her know/offer a bit of support although I think that's generally frowned upon by the Mumsnet masses

Ahhh TheStudentRoom. I’m still in contact with a load of people from there- some became my best friends. Such a blast from the past. I wonder if we knew each other.

Like a PP I recognised someone who posted asking for advice on their hair. But I didn't recognise them on here as I don't know them, I recognised them the next day when we were both at the same activity in a town miles from where I live! I didn't say anything of course, that would have been very odd, and obviously I don't know their real life name.

I have identified a poster although didn’t know them. They posted about a neighbour problem on a house facebook page that I’m also on and that same day I read the exact same problem, word for word on Mumsnet.