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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Splitting the bill - ended up paying 3x my consumption

523 replies

Jyas · 03/08/2023 22:16

Not an AIBU but more a WWYD…I’m in a hobby group and about every 2-3 months we treat ourselves to a nice dinner. There’s usually 8-10 of us and we always split the bill. It’s normally around £50 per person. This week we went to a restaurant which was more on the upper end of what we usually go for. Mains were £25 - £45. We all chose our food, but when ordering, the waiter managed to talk 3 of us into trying ‘the chefs special’. This was a rather elaborate and unusual dish, he didn’t mention the price but I would have thought it would be between £55-£60 at least from the description. When the bill came, they realised that it was over £90. The 3 offered to take one bottle of wine out of the total and share it between them to make up for their expensive dish.
In the end we paid £110 each and they paid £125 each. However, my main was £25 and plus drinks (i only had one water and one glass of wine from the shared bottle, others had much more to drink, and most had a starter but i didn’t). I would have paid around £40. So I ended up paying 3x as much.

We all really don’t mind if we pay a bit more than we consumed and we regularly go out eating together so things balance itself out. I was aware that the bill would be split and I was happy to do as usual (before knowing what their dish costed) so I couldn’t really say anything and I just paid, but I feel that £40 compared to £110 was just too big a difference on that occasion.
Would you have said anything, even tough everyone knew in advance that the bill would be split?

OP posts:
Silentmama2 · 04/08/2023 01:23

I wouldn't say anything this time - but next time - i'd be sure to say - my budget is tight so I'm just going to pay for myself - hope that is ok - (I don't see how anyone can say no to that).

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 01:23

SunRainStorm · 04/08/2023 01:18

The real villain here is the waiter who hoodwinked them into choosing an overpriced main without disclosing the exorbitant cost.

The three who had the £90 meals should have paid for their share, but I can see how they were also on the back foot. It's not like they planned it.

How much was the bottle of wine?

You know how much the waiter earns right?

Minimum wage.

He has probably been promised a bonus based on how many of these mains he sells, which is money he clearly managed to earn. Its not his fault that none of the people who ordered it bothered to ask how much it was, safe in the knowledge that "hey lets just split the bill" meant that they probably wouldnt pay the full price as the OP and others would sub it for them.

No one was hoodwinked at all, apart from the OP.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 01:24

And who the hell says "oh yes, that sounds amazing I will have that!" in an expensive place without checking the price?!

BreadInCaptivity · 04/08/2023 01:26

The wine must have been £35 given they paid 125 and the others paid 110.

Still not a patch on the extra £150 - 165 they added to the bill (given most mains were £40-45).

FatherJackHackettsUnderpantsHamper · 04/08/2023 01:26

Incidentally, did you also tip (or have a service charge added) as a percentage of the total cost? Did you also end up paying an additional £9/£13.50/£18 on top for each of those 'special' meals?

LovePoppy · 04/08/2023 01:42

threads like this are why I’ve never understood the British idea of just splitting the bill.

Where I am in Canada we’d always just be given our own!

SunRainStorm · 04/08/2023 01:55

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 01:24

And who the hell says "oh yes, that sounds amazing I will have that!" in an expensive place without checking the price?!

Maybe I'm naive but if I was told it was a 'special' I would think it was less expensive than the average main. Isn't that what something being on special means?

It depends what it was. If the waiter went on to describe a lobster swimming in caviar with truffles over it then I'd probably twig.

But I think if a special is 3x the cost of a normal main the waiter should have flagged the price.

I've been on minimum wage, you can still act with integrity and earn your money without tricking people.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 02:01

I have run chain pubs and independent restaurants. There is a difference between the American idea of "On Special (offer)" and "The Special".

The Special can be average priced or £££££. Thats why you ask. Its an unusual dish created to either A) use up ingredients in the hope it will see (average price) or B) a very fancy creation that the chef put together so show how talented he is (££££££).

And if "Sell the special or......" threats are held above the head of a minimum wage worker, they will sell the special. They need their job and are taking home less per night than the cost of the special in the OP's restaurant.

elifont · 04/08/2023 02:19

@SunRainStorm that's what a special should be, good meal for a good price; but never seen that. Usually charge twice the price.

DysmalRadius · 04/08/2023 02:34

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 01:24

And who the hell says "oh yes, that sounds amazing I will have that!" in an expensive place without checking the price?!

In this case, someone who's planning to defray the costs via their friends' generosity!

Katypyee · 04/08/2023 02:46

I live in Canada now and there’s none of this bill splitting awkwardness. The server asks how many bills and brings individual bills for everybody no matter how many people are at the table. Makes everything so much easier. I can’t believe they still can’t figure that out in the UK.

Mikimoto · 04/08/2023 03:00

Annoying, but I'd suck it up this first time, to be totally prepared/pre-empt next time.
OP also doesn't (I imagine) want to get into "This fab new place has opened...but OP might not fancy it...so we'll go to KFC with her"

SunRainStorm · 04/08/2023 03:01

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 02:01

I have run chain pubs and independent restaurants. There is a difference between the American idea of "On Special (offer)" and "The Special".

The Special can be average priced or £££££. Thats why you ask. Its an unusual dish created to either A) use up ingredients in the hope it will see (average price) or B) a very fancy creation that the chef put together so show how talented he is (££££££).

And if "Sell the special or......" threats are held above the head of a minimum wage worker, they will sell the special. They need their job and are taking home less per night than the cost of the special in the OP's restaurant.

Ah gotcha.

I'm in Australia, here the special is usually well priced for what it is because it's something the restaurant wants to get rid of.

I have sympathy for the waiter if he or she is being pressured but I personally wouldn't have felt ok signing people up for a meal that's more than twice the price of the average main without disclosing the price. If only to save myself from them being angry and refusing to pay at the end.

It's bad business for restaurants to push things like that. It would leave a bad taste and make me less likely to return.

Fakemeateater · 04/08/2023 03:03

Go vegan. My friends wouldn't do this, but if they did, they know I wouldn't contribute more for their meal if it wasn't vegan 😜

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/08/2023 03:07

It sucks. The chef's special people should have proactively made an effort to balance the bill.

In future I'd pipe up and just ask for a separate check right at the start. There's no shame in it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 04/08/2023 03:09

Fakemeateater · 04/08/2023 03:03

Go vegan. My friends wouldn't do this, but if they did, they know I wouldn't contribute more for their meal if it wasn't vegan 😜

Someone else say it please. I'm knackered.

SunRainStorm · 04/08/2023 03:10

@PyongyangKipperbang 😂

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 04/08/2023 03:11

Batalax · 03/08/2023 23:03

I think you let it go now but next time say

”I was a bit shocked last time as I ended up paying £110 when my bill was only £40. It doesn’t matter now, but I think going forward I’d like to split bills. Does everyone want to do that or shall I just take mine out before you split it? Of course I’ll contribute to the tip.”

Why even ask? Just assertively tell the server "I'll take a separate check, please." Job done.

If some mug wants to sit there and subsidize greedypigs, that's her lookout.

Fakemeateater · 04/08/2023 03:27

@PyongyangKipperbang go on. You aren't that knackered that you couldn't ignore 😁

user1492757084 · 04/08/2023 04:16

Difficult as the cost of the chef's special was a surprise to the consumers and they didn't have much time to mull over a more fair solution.
Learn for next time... but probably next time won't be like this.

-Ask the cost of specials
-Speak up before ordering if you are on an especially tight budget or if you don't plan to drink.

Keep enjoying meals out; how nice to go out with your hobby group.

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 04/08/2023 04:17

One trick is to take cash. Only have the amount you think you will need for example $50 on you. So when the bill comes you hand that over.

AlexReventa · 04/08/2023 04:19

Be honest. Say things are tight so is it ok to put in your consumption amount- which you’ve tried to keep down.
If they agree they are friends, if they moaning or gossip what would you want to mix? Our groups go for pizza.

aloris · 04/08/2023 04:47

I think it was pretty underhand of the waiter to do a hard sell of such an expensive main course without disclosing the price. "Once in a lifetime" my foot. What he meant was that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him to sell a really big order. On the other hand, your friends were not too smart for not getting the price of the special before they ordered it.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 04/08/2023 04:52

It sounds like there are probably occasions when you do have more though so if you just pay for your share on this occasion it may come across as you wanting to pay for your own when it benefits you but not when it doesn’t.

if you knew the bill was to be split and that most people were having a started then it was on you to either order a starter or say at the ordering stage that you didn’t want one and could it be deducted.

did the cost paid include service etc/water for the table that you haven’t taken into account?

Thefamilywaster · 04/08/2023 04:55

If you dont have the money you need to
be able to speak up and say so. It’s ridiculous to consider paying three times what you owe because you’re too scared to speak out.