People with misophonia, how do you cope?

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I had to request moving desks from someone in a very small space who only ate crisps during the working day and crunched them loudly next to me. I was told I was being ridiculous but the sound literally makes me want to cry, hit them and run away.

I’m led to believe it’s not that common but my partner and best friend suffer too. They are both autistic and it’s gotten to a point we can’t eat together in a restaurant.

I was recently in a Chinese restaurant for a friend’s birthday and everyone ordered prawn crackers. I was surrounded by crunching, chomping and finger licking.
I tried to put up with it and cope but in the end finished my food quickly and made excuses to leave the table.

I think people who suffer get it, people who don’t think it’s bad manners and unreasonable.

my question is if it genuinely distresses me to the point I’m not enjoying myself and counting the seconds to escape AIBU for leaving the table?

I do have other issues, some of my main triggers are people chewing, breathing heavily in my ear, sniffing - anyone slurping tea makes me want to pour it over them.
i’m lucky my partner doesn’t snore but I once had to leave a hen night early due to snoring.

As well as asking if I’m being unreasonable I’m wondering how others cope? I’m thinking of getting some of the loop earphones but I’ve heard mixed reviews.
If i’m with people I trust I try to be honest but if it’s a situation with people I don’t know well and they are constantly clearing their throat or sniffing it’s not something I can bring up easily.

Not much help, but just to say my Daughter who is autistic suffers terribly with this and the visual side too. It really does impact her daily life. Huge hugs, it’s so hard.

Flare earbuds didn’t help but Loop Quiet may be worth a try. She uses music to drown out eating sounds where possible. Sniffling/nose blowing etc is just horrendous and sparks an extremely physically aggressive reaction.

Are you on any anti-anxiety meds or natural supplements? May be worth a try.

Not much help but didn’t want to read and run as I know how debilitating and difficult this condition can be. Feel for you OP

I feel every ounce of the pain you have described there! I can never quite explain the absolute rage and anxiety that builds in me when I hear eating sounds. Working remotely has been a godsend in relation to noisy office eaters, but I used to just remove myself from the general area and go and make a coffee or take a walk until I was sure they were done. Appreciate that is not possible for everyone though. I am lucky that most of my friends and family are quiet eaters, but if I know someone that someone at the table is going to prove a challenge for me, I'll put other people between us (politely of course) and sit near someone I know will provide distraction by chatting etc. It's not something I've ever really told anyone because it sounds a bit bonkers and I am worried they will think it's a criticism of them. I really hope you find a way to cope because I understand how debilitating it can feel sometimes.

I sympathise. At the dinner table I try to sit as far away as possible from other eaters. The sound of eating triggers such an unbearable , disgusted sense of rage in me. I know its not fair of me to mention anything. Even though it's beyond my control I feel so intolerant !

My DH has asthma and can't breathe if he eats with his mouth closed which compounds my trauma, and he has a clicky jaw gahhh ! I get up and make an excuse to go to the loo or get a drink when it gets too much. I remember feeling the same as a child, so I've always had it. One good outcome is I've taught my DC to always eat with their mouths closed !

Background music helps but honestly I've ended friendships over it.

i have heard good things about the loop earplugs

It’s up to you if you leave early.

I have this and it drives me nuts. I once went to a film and someone sat behind me, opened a bag of cheese Kettle Chips (CHEESE!!!) and crunched and rustled and cheesed everywhere for 2 HOURS. I was psychotic by the end of it. I remember doing my finals at uni and there were building works going on outside the exam hall and I’m sure I almost fluffed that exam - even 30 years later I can still feel my hackles raise. I play music a lot - just in the background - to dull eating and drinking noises, though people eating an apple will still make me tense. So, music, AirPods, trying to distract myself, leaving the room - all of these.

I have it too. I went away last year with a group of friends and decided to tell them, thought we were close enough and it would make life easier for everyone. One of them instead decided to torment my life by following me around and crunching crisps in my ear, then couldnt understand why i lost my shit.

Generally, i work from home 2-3 days a week, and other than that i take my earpods everywhere. If I'm having a working lunch I book another meeting room where i go alone to eat and say i need to make some calls. When theres sucking sweets available in meetings it's a nightmare as there's no escape! I hear you op, i wish there was a cure

I have trained myself to tune out a bit like I'm daydreaming it doesn't work all the time but it really helps me.

The rage and skin crawling from noise is hard to describe to anybody who doesn't suffer.
I had to stop getting Chinese take away for a while, because prawn crackers dh munched his way through a bag it made me want to poke him in the eye with my fork !

@Gabiabbi I would have had to kill them and Bury them at sea 😂 I mean who does that !

Fortunately, I don't suffer from it, but I would find those noises annoying too. Can you wear noise cancelling headphones at work?

I'm very noise sensitive and so are my children. DD1 has tried all sorts of ear defenders but found she could still hear. Then someone recommended Bose QuietComfort SE to me (they are the same as the Bose QuietComfort 45s but just without the hard carry case) and they have been life changing.

They have active noise cancelling, which reduces background noise. They have a 'quiet mode' which shuts out noise and an 'aware mode' which allows you to hear people talking but still filters out the annoying stuff.

Eating isn’t a trigger for me but sniffing, throat clearing drives me loopy. That and buzzing insects, flies in particular.

Loops work brilliantly, the only issue is you can often hear yourself breathing. It doesn’t bother me but I thought I’d let you know to save spending all that money only to be unable to use them!

I use loops quiet for these. It's such a hard conversation to have with people you're eating out with. Loops help me but not everyone

i have this. Dh eating boiled eggs, the slurping sound is awful. I have to leave the room. And sniffing. I can’t stand it. Like big snotty sniffs. Makes me want to cry, shout, run away.
And just the breathing sound people make when they’re sleeping, even if it’s not snoring. Can’t tolerate it. It’s so hard and people don’t get it.

This post has made me tearful because it's really hard and people don't tend to understand. It's got worse for me as I've got older.
We went out with a friend the other day and I gave her some sweets. Never again. She eats with her mouth open and made smacking noises. I was stuck on a bus with her too so couldn't escape. Another friend has said about getting together in the holidays but she often chews gum with her mouth open and o just can't bear it. Her child is equally bad and talks nonstop while eating. I avoid eating with people and am really struggling with my teenager at the moment. She swallows saliva really loudly and whistles through her nose and it's causing problems between us. She is equally disgusted by other people but doesn't seem to be able to understand that I have the sane reaction to her. She also avoids eating with people at school.
People who are not misophonic don't understand at all and make me feel like a dreadful person. I've been called controlling and ridiculous and abusive for not being able to stand eating noises.

I have music on all the time and the only way I can cope with crunching is to eat the same thing. I need to try some loop earplugs but I don't want to have something in my ear or over my ears as that causes sensory issues.

Solidarity OP

I use loop in social /outside situations - I tailor the loop to the event. Quiet for eating.

I have over ear active or passive noise cancelling headphones for work (jabra). They also have the ability to lock out everything or allow conversations. I play music most days. I recommend over ear as it doesn't actually touch my ears because having pressure on the ears for 8 working hours, 5 days a week solid they would get sore - they also have a soft touch pressure dispersion headband.

No tips here, but sharing the pain.

I've always struggled with this, but Dh's mouth seems to have become an echo chamber in recent years and his latest hobby is making himself cheese and crackers and eating them in the kitchen whilst I cook, even though he knows it is the only room in the house without the possibility of background noise, and I can't escape as its not like I can cook in another room. He knows it makes me want to punch him in the face (not proud of this, but it is true), but will still potter round and end up right next to my ear crunching away. For some reason he has also lost the ability to eat poppadoms with his mouth closed.

It's definitely worse after lockdown, I wonder whether both my tolerance decreased and so did others' social skills creating a perfect storm.

I could have written this thread word for word. Misophonia isa horrible stressful thing to suffer from and all you lovely fellow posters have my undying sympathy. My very worst triggers are sniffing and eating noises. Rattling spoons stirring drinks, scraping out the remnants of yogurt pots or cereal bowls of yogurt etc send me looking for a cosh. I so understand the tight anxiety and will to run away from these sounds. My trips to the theatre and cinema cause me stress too. People who do not have this condition simply cannot understand the stress reflex is causes. Fortunately I live alone.

Travel can be a problem as now widowed I travel everywhere alone by choice. I hate having to sit ext to anyone in case they sniff or chomp food.

I use earbuds or ear plug which do help a little. I just wish the cause of misophonia was known and as there is no cure we just have to learn coping strategies.

I don't experience what you describe op but foods can make me squirm. Especially picnic food or anything shared. That constant being offered something and plates of food being waved around. It makes me want to run away or break open the bleach. I think people either understand or don't.

Eating noises and doors and drawers being slammed. And just any noises my daughter makes. She makes constant noise and it’s really effected our relationship tbh as I can’t stand to be around her.

I feel your pain. My partner is the loudest eater, too. He eats crisps like he’s attacking them. And don’t get me started on poppadoms - I’m getting the rage just thinking about it.

No advice here, I’m afraid. Just a whole lot of sympathy

I also struggle with scraping of plates, the noise tv chefs make with glass bowls and spoons ,ice in glasses and coffee pot pouring noise, it all sounds amplified!

It’s fascinating hearing others going through the same! Any one else get triggered by their dog licking themselves?

I tend to avoid people I don’t know well or I’ll only socialise in short bursts in places where I can easily escape. I’m convinced mine got worse post covid or perhaps it’s somehow connected to burnout also covid related. Because I can’t remember being affected as much as I do now. I do also have tinnitus but I barely notice it.

I use the beige coloured foam earplugs from Boots torn in half (half for each ear), it blocks out modt annoying noises but you can still hear speech, although a bit muffled.

Certain foods can be really triggering. Boiled sweets.