People with misophonia, how do you cope?

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I had to request moving desks from someone in a very small space who only ate crisps during the working day and crunched them loudly next to me. I was told I was being ridiculous but the sound literally makes me want to cry, hit them and run away.

I’m led to believe it’s not that common but my partner and best friend suffer too. They are both autistic and it’s gotten to a point we can’t eat together in a restaurant.

I was recently in a Chinese restaurant for a friend’s birthday and everyone ordered prawn crackers. I was surrounded by crunching, chomping and finger licking.
I tried to put up with it and cope but in the end finished my food quickly and made excuses to leave the table.

I think people who suffer get it, people who don’t think it’s bad manners and unreasonable.

my question is if it genuinely distresses me to the point I’m not enjoying myself and counting the seconds to escape AIBU for leaving the table?

I do have other issues, some of my main triggers are people chewing, breathing heavily in my ear, sniffing - anyone slurping tea makes me want to pour it over them.
i’m lucky my partner doesn’t snore but I once had to leave a hen night early due to snoring.

As well as asking if I’m being unreasonable I’m wondering how others cope? I’m thinking of getting some of the loop earphones but I’ve heard mixed reviews.
If i’m with people I trust I try to be honest but if it’s a situation with people I don’t know well and they are constantly clearing their throat or sniffing it’s not something I can bring up easily.

Loop earplugs, headphones as much as possible, explaining to people close to me (so they know if I make a sudden exit it's not personal). I feel your pain!

Smells for me are almost worse than noises. We have a new person on our team who I will have to train as of next week and they reek of TCP. I know it could be worse but as it's a medicinal thing how can I say anything? It's so awkward. Just

In the past I have had to complain about really strong perfume (you could taste it).

Both me and my brother suffer from misophonia thanks to a mother with a clicky jaw. Nobody understands that it isn't just "not liking" a noise but a genuine fight or flight reflex that we can't help.

Whistling makes me feel like I’m having a panic attack. I wear my AirPods a lot.

Just joining for solidarity. I gave the usual trigger;

Sniffing and throat clearing. Dp tries to throat clear to wind me up but fake it doesn't bother me at all. Regular I want to stab him.

Eating noises and any situation with finger licking. Also being forced to answer a question with food still in my mouth. I can't even tell you how much this upsets me. And my children are 10 and 13 so no excuse!!!

The laundry basket we have will be burned soon because it has basket handles you can lift up like a basket in a shop so when you carry it around it makes a tiny clacking noise. I can't stand it.

Exp used to shower late at night then crash the bedroom door open and frankly that's in the top 3 reasons why I ended it. And all the other stupid noises he made.

Dd2 not being able to sit still while we watch tv is starting to affect me this week.

It's so hard.

I've got loops and if I need to work at home they are brilliant. Except dp will come in the room and ask me stuff while I have them in.

I got myself some Loops and was so disappointed that they then cut out some of the background noise and I could still hear DH eating. Thinking about returning them as this was the main reason I wanted them. Just thought I’d say that they aren’t the solution for everyone. I find it better if I am also eating, otherwise I may leave the room.

I'm autistic and horrendously sensitive to noise. Like you, I physically can't be near someone making what I call "mouth noises". However, I can (literally, no exaggeration) hear electricity buzzing in the walls so day to day life noise like traffic, lawnmowers, alarms - even people just having a conversation outside my window - is also unbearable for me.

Flare earplugs did nothing for me. I have all three types of Loops (Quiet, Experience, and Engage) but I'm afraid I don't get on with them either. They do block out noise but I feel like someone has their fingers in my ears and I can hear everything going on inside my skull 😣I will wear a pair if I'm out somewhere that discretion is imperative.

Otherwise, I use headphones. I have Bose active noise cancelling (ANC) over-ear headphones for travel or work. I keep Soundcore P3 ANC ear buds in my bag for emergencies - nowhere near as comfortable as my Bose but portable, discreet and the ANC really makes a huge difference over normal earbuds.

If I need to pull out the big guns, I have my ear defenders. I have tried a few pairs but I recently treated myself to some proper industrial ones (3M Peltor X4A, 33dB noise reduction) and I can't recommend them highly enough.

My DH suffers from this. We generally eat meals in front of the TV, but if sitting at the dining table we put background music on. If eating out there's usually sufficient background noise that it's ok for him. I think he probably puts on a v brave face when eating at my family's house but again I guess with a few more people round the table there's more general chatter. I usually avoid eating crisps in the same room as him which is fine as I'm not a big crisp eater.

I think at work sometimes he wears ear defenders and he usually has his headphones in and music on when he's on public transport, as for him the biggest thing is noise 'outwith his control'.

I notice that the extent to which this affects him is linked with his general level of stress versus being relaxed eg when on holiday so eating out in restaurants etc or eating at the table more and not in front of TV it's generally less of a problem for him as he's more relaxed anyway.

Headphones and YouTube videos up loud enough to drown out the sound.

We all have Bose noise cancelling headphones which helps.

Try having misophonia and tinnitus. It's like I'm being tortured 24/7.

I think the smells and noise go hand in hand. I'm the sane about greasy hair and long nails. Two teenage daughters are very difficult due to this.

I’ve just remembered another ex P one. He would take a bite of something and chew it very quickly. Like three times as fast as anyone else would. Unbearable with anything crunchy. I’m so glad I don’t have to listen to it anymore.

My DH now eats his pork scratchings in the kitchen. I think this has saved our marriage 🤣

Wish I could live on the same street as some of you, we could all live quietly without the screechy voiced neighbours and their ball slamming bastard kids. I fucking love this weather cos it keeps them inside lol, the only way I can cope is with noise cancelling headphones, which are on pretty much constantly

I travelled by train from Scotland to London and the man in the seat behind me spent the entire journey noisily clearing his throat - by the level of noise it had to be bleeding by the time we reached London. I wanted to punch his face - and I’m normally a placid person.

bought some noise cancelling headphones for the return journey.

The sound of anyone drumming their nails on a hard surface makes me glad I’m not allowed to be armed! Noisy chewers, loud breathing, and people whistling. I’m not equipped to survive in company!

I feel this! Thankfully hybrid working to take the edge off it. The woman who sits opposite me has a high-pitched screech. If she's not randomly doing that then she eats popcorn. All. Day. SCREECH rustle rustle, crunch crunch SLURP, and repeat. The slurp in particular made me want to throw her out the window. I haven't tried Loop earplugs but mouldable wax ones have toned down the screech and I can't hear the mouth noises any more. Not perfect but a decent help.

I lost my shit at my DP the 3rd time he applied his oragel to his teeth near me. The saliva sounds made me see red.

The first time we ate noodles together I cried from frustration of not wanting to be rude but not being able to cope!

I only recently found out there was a name for it! I fully get the intense rage and upset you all describe.

Oh noodles I love Ramen but the slurps but delicious noodles it's a dilemma 😫

You're not being unreasonable at all, you can't help it. I think if people realised just how awful it is to experience, like nails scraping down a blackboard times 1000, they'd "get it".

I have got significantly better at tuning it out in busy restaurants as I've got older (I'm 43), but there's no cure.

My husband doesn't even bring them into the house, he eats them in the car. Lol.

I couldn't even eat them, I avoid things I can't eat quietly.

YANBU but sadly the conditions effects on people suffering have been downplayed because so many now claim to have it if they just don't like noisy people or hearing people eat. The actual condition is so much more than that. OCD was the same way a decade ago. I wish I could help OP.

For all these reasons, me and DH now eat our meals on the sofa watching Tv loudly. That way, I don’t have to see him eat, and can’t hear him. He’s a very quiet eater!

I’m so glad I’m not alone reading these replies but at the same time I’m sympathetic for everyone else who suffers from this.
I think a lot of people do just claim they have it when they just dislike the noises without having such an extreme reaction.

just reading some of the responses triggered my fight, flight or freeze response. Noodle slurping and pork scratching crunching is exactly the sort of noise that makes me want to snatch them out of peoples hands, stamp on them and shout
“WHY ARE YOU BEING A PIG!” but obviously it’s frowned upon 😂.

I’m going to look into the loop earplugs for my partner as he struggles with a lot of noises like vacuum cleaners, sirens, babies crying, tannoy announcements in supermarkets etc…
we are currently having work done on our roof and unexpectedly he could cope with the occasional drilling, the roofers are playing dance music from 8am outside our bedroom window till 5pm though and that’s driving us both crazy.
My partner works nights and isn’t getting any sleep and we’ve asked them to stop but they don’t listen.
I might get some for myself if they work for him.
i have my AirPods in a lot at the moment because they are the pro noise cancelling ones.

Wouldn’t it be nice if they made restaurants with soundproofed booths for one person?
i’d happily go out alone if I could eat in silence!

There's a difference between not liking the sound of someone eating and misophonia, that's for sure. I don't like seeing someone add an insane amount of salt to their meal, but I've never wanted to throw my plate at their head for doing it. 😂