People with misophonia, how do you cope?

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I had to request moving desks from someone in a very small space who only ate crisps during the working day and crunched them loudly next to me. I was told I was being ridiculous but the sound literally makes me want to cry, hit them and run away.

I’m led to believe it’s not that common but my partner and best friend suffer too. They are both autistic and it’s gotten to a point we can’t eat together in a restaurant.

I was recently in a Chinese restaurant for a friend’s birthday and everyone ordered prawn crackers. I was surrounded by crunching, chomping and finger licking.
I tried to put up with it and cope but in the end finished my food quickly and made excuses to leave the table.

I think people who suffer get it, people who don’t think it’s bad manners and unreasonable.

my question is if it genuinely distresses me to the point I’m not enjoying myself and counting the seconds to escape AIBU for leaving the table?

I do have other issues, some of my main triggers are people chewing, breathing heavily in my ear, sniffing - anyone slurping tea makes me want to pour it over them.
i’m lucky my partner doesn’t snore but I once had to leave a hen night early due to snoring.

As well as asking if I’m being unreasonable I’m wondering how others cope? I’m thinking of getting some of the loop earphones but I’ve heard mixed reviews.
If i’m with people I trust I try to be honest but if it’s a situation with people I don’t know well and they are constantly clearing their throat or sniffing it’s not something I can bring up easily.

Eating noises for me, like white hot rage and wanting to cry
Especially people eating when I'm on to r phone to them and I can't hang up

I take propananol for anxiety and I’m on other medications that I’ve been told are supposed to help reduce symptoms.

I’m going to order some loop earplugs I think and see how I get on.

Its heartwarming to read that you are so empathetic for your daughter, I know a lot of people really struggle to be understanding about it so it’s nice to read that you don’t just brush it off and are aware of how bad it can be.

I really don’t understand who came up with the idea of eating in cinemas!
The typical foods they sell like popcorn and crisps that are crunchy, sweets in bags that rustle and drinks with straws that people slurp on (and make that annoying noise trying to get the last drops out of) are the most disruptive.

It seems like some people literally just go to fill their faces and the idea of being in a room surrounded by people chomping is making me come out in a cold sweat thinking about it.

I think they should have screenings where food is banned and there are stricter rules about noise!
I much prefer to watch at home now and I’m so grateful for streaming services.

I’m glad you still passed your exam, it must have taken some resilience when you were that wound up.

My worst one is people coughing. My dp has a particularly loud cough and when he had covid I couldn't talk on the phone with him. You know that deep breath people take before they start coughing? I used to hold the phone away from my ear. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I have misophonia and the answer is noise cancelling headphones and a distraction or avoiding the situations that trigger you

I have this bit it is worse if I focus on it. Like if I notice DH eating his cereal I feel absolute rage but will try to distract myself or make conversation so the actual hatred feeling is interrupted and then try and think about other things.
Its never been so bad that I have had to leave a restaurant early but I do feel murderous.
People typing on keyboards omg I want to bash the keyboard on their head.

I have this really badly on the lead up to my period.
I can hear DH eating a bowl of cereal between 5 rooms!
He also sucks each finger after eating crisps which gives me the ick so bad!
The worst is when DH is playing music in the car whilst DD is talking to me at the same time. I have given myself a pat on the back today because I have just put up with a 9 hour car journey with exactly this happening without saying anything.
I have ADHD so it might be this.

Smells are worst for me. My dad has smelt like rotten milk for a good 10 years now, no idea why as he does bathe regularly.
My neighbours have an in incontinent cat that they cat smell so I no longer go there and another friend has really bad breath which just ruins my life.

How old is your dad? When people age something happens to their skin, I can't remember if it's less of a hormone or bacteria or something and that makes them have that old person smell

He’s in his 60s. Always keen on a daily hot bath and good oral hygiene.
I think he has high cholesterol/ fatty liver/ ibs type stuff going on but it could be maybe a dairy intolerance. No idea but it’s getting stronger.
I don’t want to hurt his feelings by saying anything but as someone with very keen senses, I struggle!

How do I cope?

I'm afraid I divorced my husband.

Well that wasn't the only reason of course but I genuinely could not bear the mouth noises he made

This strikes me as the sort of thing that CBT is made for.

Oh this is it: As our skin matures, its natural antioxidant protection declines. This decline results in greater oxidation of lipid acid. When lipid acid is oxidized, the chemical compound nonenal is produced, giving off the “old people smell” that many of us are familiar with.

Hmm not gr at but it could just be able ageing thing rather than a health thing 🤔 have you told him to get checked?

Yes I do. The smell of mint especially mint chewing gum upsets me a lot. I'm physically repelled by it and my anxiety shoots up. It's obviously even worse if someone is chewing it with their mouth open, Alex Ferguson style. Smell, sound AND sight.

When DP gets into bed having used Colgate toothpaste I flinch away from him. This is a shame because generally I adore and fancy him.

Long deep breaths works for me, also fidget toys or a ring has helped. I recently found a relaxation thing on my smart watch that has loads of images fading out, then coming back into focus. That helps me AFTER noises have wound me up. It’s the strangest disorder ever in that those around me, who have known me ages and know I suffer, brush it off or laugh!! Again the app on my watch helps with calming me down after I’ve explained (again) that I’m about to blow a fuse over a completely normal noise and been made to feel stupid. Hope you find something to help. 😘

Oh good god- it’s awful. It has got worse as I have aged too.
I used to think it was a learned behaviour from my mum, then I had a child and never let him know how I felt- now he has it and I feel for him so much.
can I ask others- if you were the loop earphones- I’m assuming then you can’t hear people talk either? I have problems with my hearing (unless people sit close to me) so I can’t imagine these are good for sitting anywhere sociable where you want to talk to people but also don’t want to hear others eat? Thanks.

No, I know the old people smell and it’s not that.
I don’t really have the kind of relationship with my dad where I can say anything.
I always figure his partner might say something as she’s physically with him most of the time.
I’m getting worse with smells as I get older. I can’t eat or drink anything in a cafe that smells like cooking fat. It makes me feel sick.
yesterday I nearly blew a gasket (internally) whilst calm externally because a cafe stank inside so I went to sit outside where loads of people were smoking cigarettes (pet hate), there was a speaker playing loud tinny adverts and local radio into my ears right by the table and the shortbread I’d ordered tasted of margarine rather than butter. Not only this but the design of the place was tired and dated it was sensory hell!
I don’t meet the ASD criteria but I do have an adhd diagnosis so maybe the sensory stuff is the same.

My family just dismiss me as intolerant.

I guess I could be described as intolerant. But it's not a choice.

I feel your pain. So so much.

It developed in my teen years. Someone breathing through their nose heavily is a massive trigger for me.

Eating, chewing, crunching, lips smacking together - I literally cannot bear it and I want to punch people.

Whistling I can't bear, it reaches a certain place in my head that I just can't deal with.

Nail biting is another one and sniffing. I have actually changed jobs due to a sniffer.

I think I suffer also from misophonia of the eyes if that is a thing???

Repetitive movements really annoy me. My mum used to say she was going to get me a set of blinkers 😂

I always, always have noise on in the background, apart from bedtime where I don't sleep with my husband lol.

Oh god, this is me when I go out. Currently awaiting an ADHD assessment (and don’t meet the ASD criteria either). I think it’s Irritating Sensory Overload. Too much, too intense, too fast.

At home I use background music to muffle the sounds. But that's not always enough and sometimes I have to leave the table and retreat to another room. I do feel awful about the example I must be setting to my two boys though 😔

I've not generally had that issue in public eating as it's often really loud (to me) so I can't focus on the eating noises as there's so much going on.

I have Bose Quiet Comfort II earbuds for general noise sensitivity. They have literally the best ANC tech available and are absolutely amazing 😍. I love them so much, but don't generally use them at meal times. I probably should but I feel like I'm being rude by using them.

I also have Loop earplugs and I don't rate them at all. They magnify all internal sounds like bones moving, chewing, breathing, heartbeat etc. So I can only use them if I'm stationary and purely trying to turn the volume of the kids down a little bit. Even then they're just 'ok' as the magnification they create just triggers me in different ways instead 🤷

My misophonia has definitely worsened as I got older.

I don’t think many people really understand it unless they also suffer. They think you are joking/over reacting/being a bitch when you try to explain that having someone eat crisps noisily on a train makes you want to throw them onto the tracks.

So many times I have had to get off public transport because I just couldn’t cope with the noise. It’s a blind panic. Definitely fight/flight.

Earplugs help a little but not enough.

Loop quiet, all the way!

@Curiosity101 I have Bose Quiet Comfort II earbuds for general noise sensitivity. They have literally the best ANC tech available and are absolutely amazing

They really are and even though they are FAR too expensive, they're a godsend. I don't have mysophobia but I am triggered by a lot of noises beyond my control, and I can relate to the feelings of murderous rage and hatred, and the need to flee. I panic if I don't have my earbuds and even have a second set, expensive as they are because they are such a necessity.

I feel a tiny bit of hope for my teen dd reading this thread, seeing that some of you have spouses/partners. I worry so much about how my dd will cope with life, or form any type of relationship. I'm her main trigger - literally any mouth sound I make (even very quiet breathing) triggers her - and I'm so careful around her, but it makes our life together so difficult.