Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

[LovingLalo]

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

I

I stopped taking the pill last week I am 39 I will hopefully fall pregnant next year. I can't see it happening this year. I love babies so hopefully a win win. I think it does depend on your physical fitness as well. I knew someone who jogged everyday when she started the menopause I don't know whether it helped but she looks good.

This thread is helpful I am not looking forward to the menopause.

I'd sell a kidney for a way to get anything near to 8 hours sleep a night. I'm a decade younger than you and have been battling insomnia for ever since I can remember (early 20s), so don't think it's related to menopause!

I'm the same age as you, OP, and I had to really battle with my GP surgery to start HRT. The majority of my friends (older and younger) were already taking it. I can't even begin to describe how utterly dreadful I felt, but after 2 months I have seen some improvement.
I might feel differently if there was a history of breast cancer in my family, but I was told I'd be at a higher risk if I drank a small glass of wine every day. I hardly drink at all, so hoping that will reduce the risk.

Ah, I'm so sorry OP that your friend reacted that way but I'm sure it was not meant maliciously. I'm very happy with my HRT but I do know, or have heard, that the symptoms might be just 'pushed forward'. Personally, I don't mind as I'd rather be sound whilst my kids are young and then happy to 'go mad' (if I do) once they've flown the nest. I want to be the best I can be whilst my kids are around...

As for people saying not taking HRT is the same as not taking head ache pills. It's not. Actually taking head ache pills might produce head aches, which sadly not many people seems to know about.

Medication overuse happens very quickly and is very common. If you take head ache pills more than twice a week over several weeks you are likely to bet rebound headaches. Best not to take head ache pills at all tbh! Because if you don't, you probably wont end up having head ache (there is science behind it, look it up!).

And I have had someone tell me they don't want to "cheat" but I'm just looking at it like insulin or thyroxin ie taking chemicals that our bodies can no longer produce naturally ( I know those examples don't all work in the same way, but the principle is the same)

Oh just ignore. She’s feeling crap and being daft.

The best thing I did was stopping drinking , alcohol is not a Meno womans friend .

Almost word for word what I was going to say. Let her get on with her misery while you enjoy your life,

An elderly male gynecologist once told me that, if it wasn't a health risk to them, he was all in favour of women taking HRT as long as possible!! 😳His reasoning was that women now live far longer than they used to post Menopause so it's really not fair that they should have to suffer all the consequences of coping without oestrogen for so long!! 😇
I was gobsmacked to hear a man say this but unfortunately he was still only able to prescribe intermittent progesterone only to me at 65 because my FEMALE doctor did not approve of the elderly taking HRT long term and I had already been on it for 15 years!!
I cannot tell you how awful I felt without it so I tried what the gynea suggested but unfortunately cannot recommend it as progesterone for me was worse than no replacement hormone at all!!😩My arthritus worsened within months, my energy levels plummeted and overall I felt like my life as I knew it was over but the doctor wouldn't budge so there we are ladies, at the whim of the medical profession and what the latest info happens to be! 😱

Ah, one of those martyrs who belive you have to suffer. Let's ban all pain killers and anesthesia! Actually this could be applied to all meds.

I'm interested to hear from anyone who has had PCOS and also had HRT. I have gone months and whole years without periods (and still had 4 children) and my peri menopause symptoms are a period every freakin month and OMG!!! How did you all do this your entire lives?!!! I'm a little worried about HRT as I'm not sure my body is that used to the hormones in the first place.

Medication is cheating? Bloody daft thing to say! Which century is she living in? You should be laughing at her, not feeling upset! Ignore her.

From what I’ve read, I think in decades to come, regardless of having symptoms or not, women will be on HRT as a matter of course to lower risk of heart disease and osteoporosis and with current science, dementia.

Sorry to hijack thread with a slightly off topic question but for you (and anyone else who went onto HRT) how/when did you know you needed it?

I'm too old for the pill and not into the menopause enough (regular periods) for HRT. Every month is a hormonal battle!

Oh and your friend was an arse!

Not in my experience. I think her attitude is very outdated thank god! My mum had HRT 20 years ago after her hysterectomy, I'll be using it too when I feel it's needed!

I had a hysterectomy so obviously no periods.

Took me a while to join the dots to be honest. That the crushing anxiety and depression, the aching joints, the itchy skin, bleeding gums, repeated UTIs were all menopause related. Seeing people like Louise Minchin and Davina McCall talking about it and doing some of my own reading. Repeated trips to the GP where I was prescribed anti-depressants, antibiotics and folic acid (??) and the health professionals never once - bearing in mind they KNEW I had had a hysterectomy and was 49 at that point - asked if I thought I could be menopausal. First GP I asked for HRT was very reluctant and said it wouldn't help. 6 months later spoke to another GP and was much more assertive, practically demanded a trial.

Started sleeping better within 2 days of putting the first patch on.

Can I ask why your sister stopped HRT?

I've been on it now for 9 years and have no intention of stopping it anytime soon.

The NICE guidelines are clear (www.nice.org.uk / guidance/ng23) that women can continue to take HRT as long as the benefits outweigh the risks, and for most healthy women, this is for ever.

@GenieGenealogy

God it enrages me when I hear stories about how regressive some GPs can be about menopause. All the rubbish about doing bloods etc.

I was lucky to have a brilliant (young, female) GP who totally got it and put me straight on HRT. No questions asked and no bullshit about bloods etc. I don’t even have particularly acute symptoms.

The resistance to prescribe is inexplicable.

OMFG why do we women not always have each other's backs? HRT can be positively life changing, if you don't need it great, if you think it might help... go for it unless your DOCTOR (and no one else quite frankly) advises you not to. Of course it's not cheating!! Who on earth has that mindset? Equally if you have a headache take some pain killers, if you have ADHD or depression see if medication can work for you... and if you think yoga, mindfulness and soya beans will suit you better, I'm thrilled for you! I'm absolutely sick of the martyrdom we're apparently meant to add to our load as women. Whatever gets you through the night... it's alright, it's alright.

It's partly reluctance to prescribe, and partly downright ignorance. I totally understand that not every GP can be an expert in everything but in our practice there are six GPs, four female, two male. They have a contraception clinic, diabetes clinic, asthma clinic, child health clinic, etc etc. I asked the GP who fobbed me off whether they had a menopause clinic, and he looked at me as if I had gone crazy. Referrals to central menopause clinic at the hospital are taking around 18 months.

And then when you are prescribed patches, trying to find stock is often challenging. It's a total nightmare and it really shouldn't be.

Nutterjacks,
Can I ask why your sister stopped HRT?

I've been on it now for 9 years and have no intention of stopping it anytime soon.

The NICE guidelines are clear (www.nice.org.uk/ guidance/ng23) that women can continue to take HRT as long as the benefits outweigh the risks, and for most healthy women, this is for ever.

It was over 12 years ago just after a cancer link was discovered, (high cancer genes in the family) govt guidelines were then introduced that no female should be on it longer than 5 years, she had been on it over 20 years having gone through an early menopause.
I know they have since changed, i just did not want to go through what she went through coming off it, it took years, and she was very ill and since suffered long term health effects that were linked to HRT.

@GenieGenealogy

It's partly reluctance to prescribe, and partly downright ignorance. I totally understand that not every GP can be an expert in everything but in our practice there are six GPs, four female, two male.

I know and it’s not even particularly complicated medicine. The controversy over breast cancer links is very historic now, the scientific consensus is relatively settled and the Nice guidelines are clear. It’s not like you’re asking for an opioid or an experimental immunotherapy.

An awful lot of it is suspicion about women being in control of their own health and this previously referenced idea that we just should tough everything out.

Increasingly aching joints, loss of libido, serious brain fog and forgetfulness, inexplicable weight gain, trouble sleeping through the night, irritable mood swings, thinning hair, flat-lining energy levels and very erratic periods....
(funnily enough no hot flushes and almost no night sweats, which unhelpfully if you read anything about the menopause are always the generic 'symptoms' given) I just didn't recognise myself
One day I just thought I need to go and see my doctor and ask her if it's time for HRT... she took me seriously, did some bloods to check my hormone levels and suggested I leave it a couple of months and then put me on it, but I think I was lucky with her as she had gone through early menopause in her late 30s and had benefitted greatly from HRT herself.

This exactly