Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

[LovingLalo]

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

I

I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.

How to be both smug and a martyr at the same time.

From someone who has tried all the herbs and stuff, sometimes you need more. The only thing I haven't tried is black cohosh. I believe that is quite effective but too risky for me. Herbs and natural treatments have risks too.

That is one study and there are others that have different conclusions.

Hormonal contraception allows men access to women's bodies without responsibility

I hate to break this to you, it will come
as a horrible shock, but;

WOMEN LIKE SHAGGING TOO.

And they like it without having to worry about the 2-25% risk per cycle (which works out as a out 44-90% or so risk they'll get pregnant within a year) and end up with a child/another child out of it.

Yes but why are people only choosing to believe the studies that support the conclusions they agree with? Why put it out there in black and white that 'HRT prevents dementia' when that is patently untrue, and researchers can't even agree on whether it reduces the risk?

More info here from the Alzheimers Society of UK. Hormones and dementia | Alzheimer's Society (alzheimers.org.uk)

Balancing up the current research, they summarise with:
Until there is better evidence, the potential benefits of HRT as a way to reduce the risk of Alzheimer's disease do not outweigh the potential risks of HRT, which includes an increased risk of certain types of cancer, heart disease and stroke.

I really don't think it's right that you can stay on HRT forever? the cancer risk goes up after 5 years doesn't it? I do think there's a danger in getting your HRT information from MN.

This thread makes me want to do a lot of research before considering HRT. I have a strong family history of both breast cancer and dementia.

In my experience, you can find studies to support whatever conclusion you want. Not all studies are good studies, so they need to be considered critically. I would find multiple good studies and see where the trend lies, where they agree, where they differ. Then you weigh it all up and make the best decision you can for your own circumstances and medical context.

OP yes some women think that way like your friend because many women are conditioned to put up and shut up, to accept the "women's lot" to suffer bad medical outcomes, to put up with pain.

I feel sorry for your friend.

I also tried to go natural for about a year and suffered miserably, HRT was a game changer.

One thing to say is go back after 9 months and get a blood test, make sure your levels are back to a good range. My testosterone was on the floor but the HRT was working well.

I got referred to the menopause clinic for testosterone which has been the icing on the cake in terms of brain fog and joint ache (although you need to position it as a loss of libido for some daft reason)

I am glad you are feeling better!

As someone who is in the beginnings of perimenopause and will not be able to have HRT due to medical reasons I think she is mad!! Grab it with both hands ad enjoy life and feeling better in your body and mind if she wants a miserable existence for the next 10-15 years let her and pay her and her bitter comments no mind.

As poor sleep, anxiety, depression and even having a hysterectomy are also associated with a higher risk of dementia, and many women take HRT due to symptoms which are causing poor sleep, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms linked to hormonal imbalances (also linked to why a woman might ultimately need a hysterectomy), it doesn’t take a genius or even a study to anticipate that there may be a correlation between women who need HRT and women who get dementia. Lower educational attainment is also linked with higher incidence of dementia, and the Denmark study even found a link between lower educational attainment and the women who had taken HRT.

My mum is a bit like this. Illness is a sign of weak character, in her opinion. Morning sickness was for the weak and feeble minded, she just powered through it and was fine. Post natal depression - what is there to be depressed about when you have a new baby? Menopause was natural and HRT was pointless.

We don't discuss that I'm now on HRT.

@GenieGenealogy my mum is the same despite her having severe anxiety at her menopause .and never fully recovering she had to be practically carried to a gp to be diagnosed with angina!

I got my information from my GP. The cancer risks are higher if you are even 2 stone overweight.
Stupid post.

@Walkaround

As poor sleep, anxiety, depression and even having a hysterectomy are also associated with a higher risk of dementia, and many women take HRT due to symptoms which are causing poor sleep, anxiety, depression, and other symptoms linked to hormonal imbalances (also linked to why a woman might ultimately need a hysterectomy), it doesn’t take a genius or even a study to anticipate that there may be a correlation between women who need HRT and women who get dementia. Lower educational attainment is also linked with higher incidence of dementia, and the Denmark study even found a link between lower educational attainment and the women who had taken HRT.

This is really interesting and I think its shocking how little research has been done into this.

It's true that the evidence on HRT and dementia is inconclusive and there are studies which suggest variously that HRT may either help stave off or accelerate dementia so the jury is definitely out but as you say the studies don't seem to control for other risk factors.

But I can't help wondering (on an admittedly not very scientific basis) whether there's a link between the obvious mental ill health and cognitive problems that the menopause seems to engender in many women and the risk of later dementia. At the very least I think there's a strong argument that anything which is a protective factor against these conditions in middle age is likely to support better mental and neurological health later on.

Exercise, eating well, continuing to work and engaging your brain are probably also protective factors but I certainly wouldn't stop taking HRT on the basis that some studies have suggested a correlation.

I got my information from my GP. The cancer risks are higher if you are even 2 stone overweight.
Stupid post.

Pretty rude of you, but also, yes being overweight is a cancer risk. So can HRT be when taken in the long term eg over 5 years. One doesn't cancel out the other

Well my information comes from my consultant at the specialist menopause and oncology clinic.

There is no reason why I can't stay on the patches indefinitely. I've been taking it for 8 years now and have no plans to stop. The consultant is perfectly happy with this.

I have just come on the thread to say thank you for starting it. I'm 49 and can associate with so many of the symptoms, yet was prescribed anit depressents. I have just made an appointment with GP to talk about menopause and HRT

Wishing you all the best. I really hope your GP is supportive. Remember... don't back down. 🌸

My Aunt had breast cancer from being on HRT too long she had a hysterectomy in her 30s so was on hrt for well over 15 years then diagnosed with hormonal breast cancer I think its called, she was also over weight.

Well I intend to be on HRT for 15 plus years. I couldn't live my life before. Il take my gamble with quality rather than quantity of life.
If I get breast cancer so be it... better that than suicide @Mrsjayy

It is obviously a personal choice just there is that risk, I was on hrt 3 years .and off it .nearl6v I think I'm through the other side and I have no adverse reactions to being off it but menopause is the worst I felt awful for years before hrt.

I totally agree with you OP
Also the new research shows there’s no statistically significant increased breast cancer risk. It’s just the old wives tales that won’t shift.

Also the new research shows there’s no statistically significant increased breast cancer risk. It’s just the old wives tales that won’t shift.

Do you have a link to this please as maybe I'm not up to date with it all, not seen this research? (undecided about HRT myself as symptoms not too bad just now)

@Littlemissprosecco

Also the new research shows there’s no statistically significant increased breast cancer risk. It’s just the old wives tales that won’t shift.

It's very interesting that in numerous cases where treatments become available that have the potential to alleviate suffering for women, there's a backlash and an artificial medical/moral panic which ends up being more damaging to the women than the actual therapeutic itself.

From what I remember of this there was a very minor elevated risk of breast cancer for women on HRT but from a very very low base and it turned out that the benefits to other areas of women's health far outweighed the negatives. But there was a huge flap about it and loads of women were erroneously advised by their GPs to come off and still, 20+ years on, masses of women still think HRT gives people breast cancer.

It makes me think about the many other cases where people get martyrish and hand-wringy about women taking legal drugs that in various ways make things easier for them, relating to hormones, contraception and labour. See also contraceptives (that post upthread from about "men having access to women" being a prime daft example) and the general paranoia about epidurals and pain relief in labour.

There has been very little statistically significant evidence that any of these drugs cause a significantly higher risk of any real kinds of harm. I can't get away from the suspicion that the vast majority of this is just puritanism about women benefiting from pharmaceuticals that make their lives easier, based on ludicrous old wives tales about them needing to suffer in order to be women.