Friend said I'm cheating my way through the menopause

[LovingLalo]

I'm 47 and have been on HRT since February. I had reached a crisis point where I could hardly sleep, had anxiety over trivial things, I'd put on 2 stone as had no motivation to exercise anymore and I had no zest for life.
6 months later and I feel like I'm 37 again. My mood and skin are great, I'm back to a size 10 and exercising, most importantly I'm back to 8 hours unbroken sleep. It's been life changing for me.

Saw my friend yesterday who is also struggling and she knew I had started HRT. I encouraged her to go to her GP. Blunt response was no I'd rather do it naturally than cheat thanks.
I'm both gobsmacked and really hurt. Is this how some women think?

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Don't want to derail thread in any way but OP was put on Sequi at 47. This was my experience too at 48, am now 51. When do we change to the continuous combined? GP services are really poor in my area - mine is basically a repeat prescription/ at death's door service, and the chance of an appt to discuss it is remote.

Coming back to say - for anyone who doesn't know - vaginal oestrogen is used separately from patches, and it helps minimise the effects that declining oestrogen have on your bladder, as tissues start to thin. It's thought not to have systemic effects in the body as it doesn't travel far enough, so generally considered safe even if you've got breast cancer worries and don't want patches. You can use it in addition to patches.

After a year of sequential, I think - that's what my GP said - but there might be an age guideline too? I think my GP said after a year or at 52?

Realised that not only was self medicating with wine really dangerous, it really made my Meno symptoms a 100 times worse. it started to be a viscous circle . I think HRT is a life saver. I feel like a completely new person 🙂

It does seem daunting at the start I was exactly the same . I don't use anything orally so nothing goes through my liver so reduced or no risk . Patches and vaginal Utrogestan but now I'm going onto continuous I'm having a mirena coil fitted . Download the " Balance app" set up by 2 female NHS GPs lots of great women there to chat to and good advice .

Hi
my mum went through hot flashes, irritability and sleepless nights. She resorted to supplements to help her manage.

mind you she was on the old HRT…

There is a Menopause section on MN.

Just go to ALL TOPICs to find it, or look under HEALTH in TALK.

All of what's on this thread by @LovingLalo is being discussed daily.

Thanks @JinglingSpringbells . I didn't know there was a menopause section.

The most important thing here is that you now feel great.

She does not and it's her problem.

I'd just casually mention ( frequently) about how you feel like a new woman.

HRT is a godsend for me. I no longer feel like I am 80

I find your friends attitude hilarious. If she has an operation, will she refuse an anaesthetic because that would also be 'cheating'?

More women than men get dementia even taking age/longer life out of the equation.

women get ‘brain fog’ with low oestrogen. I think it’s fairly clear there is a link to dementia but there hasn’t been enough research into it due to lack of brain scanning machines, low priority for womens health. It should be a matter of national priority - at the very least old women with dementia cost the nhs and society a fortune

🤣🤣🤣

This is my mother & sister, never in a million years would they go on/have HRT.
Thing is my sister is 3 years older than me and seriously her anxiety is off the scale among other health problems insomnia etc...
And my mother suffers terribly with bone & joint pain, insomnia, hair loss I could go on.
My mother thinks she sailed through the menopause I remember different it was like she'd had a personality transplant (her rages, anger, moods) were scary!
I'm on HRT & have been for a year now I honestly couldn't be happier.
It wouldn't be so bad if the martyrs suffered in silence however I found the opposite to be true.
.

Thank you. I will take a look :)

@SadieOlsen

So much for "feminism". HRT was designed to keep women in the workplace until retirement age, ie, to keep them going as economic units. That's why it's "free". Hormonal contraception allows men access to women's bodies without responsibility. Some women have a really easy menopause - I wish we all did.

What's wrong with women being in the workplace until retirement age? would you rather we all shuffle off into our dotage before the age of 60? No thanks very much. I fully intend to work until I'm too old to, partly because I'm a feminist and don't want to have to rely on men to be my "economic unit" and also because I enjoy working, it keeps my brain active and helps me sustain a good social life. Not going to apologise for either of those and if I can find safe hormones to help me with that I'll bloody well take them.

This conspiracy theory that hormones are a confidence trick that men use to do a number on women by giving them "access to their bodies" is such a load of old shit. Men have "access to women's bodies" anyway, whether or not they are taking contraceptives.

The great thing about contraception is that men having access to our bodies doesn't leave us in a constant cycle of pregnancies and with multiple children to raise, tied down to the home and unable to support ourselves.

Ditto hormones to support us with menopause. I'd rather make the menopause as tolerable as I possibly can. I don't see how having a bad menopause and having to retire early is in any way a feminist choice. Or a good one.

So much for "feminism". HRT was designed to keep women in the workplace until retirement age, ie, to keep them going as economic units.

Well indeed the feminist thing to do is to be forced to give up your job because of anxiety, depression and cognitive impairment.

I want to work until retirement age, why wouldn't I? Surely it's more feminist to use your brains and education to provide for your family equally to any male partner (should you wish to). That the main benefit of HRT to me. I want to work for at least another decade firstly for the income and secondly for the mental stimulation.

Any study that finds a link between taking HRT for less than a year between the ages of 45 and 50 and dementia decades later may well find there is a correlation between perimenopausal symptoms severe enough to result in seeking medical treatment and a higher likelihood of future dementia, but to conclude such brief use of HRT is the most likely cause is frankly idiotic. All the study shows is that more research is justified - as per the previous panics about HRT. People pop all sorts of medicines all the time with far worse, actually proven, side effects than HRT.

In the meantime, I know I have a strong familial risk of osteoporosis, but no similarly elevated risk of breast cancer or dementia. I also know that poor sleep and anxiety have been linked to increased dementia risks. I further know, from familial experience, that the side effects of traditional treatments for osteoporosis can be extremely unpleasant (severe stomach pains with the tablets, severe body aching with injections, and dentists terrified of treating dental issues due to the possibility of necrosis of the jaw). If HRT causes fewer side effects than the frankly horrible official available treatments for osteoporosis, and can also reduce sleep and mood disturbances and the less pleasant physical effects of perimenopause and menopause, then I’d rather delay the need for the more traditional osteoporosis treatments for as many years as possible with the help of diet, weight bearing exercise and HRT where appropriate, thank you very much.

I’m of an age where I know people who are starting to take HRT & I do wonder.
I’ve never really heard of anyone coming off it? Do you come off it? I don’t know how it works.
with the pill you come off it when you want a baby. So I took that knowing there was an exit strategy. An end plan. (& then hubby got the snip)
I just think education around menopause and HRT is improving massively, but still incredibly lacking! …. I’m 40. I have questions …. But I was taught about contraception I used into my 30’s when I was 13/14 at school, but nothing beyond it!!

where can we usefully and reliably learn this stuff?!

Try the Balance app as a good starting point.

https://www.balance-menopause.com/subject/perimenopause/

Was there a particular reason she needed to come off the HRT? The latest advice is that you can carry on taking HRT for the rest of your life if needed, unless there are particular health conditions that mean it is not suitable.

Yep - original sin and all that!

I was told I can stay on HRT as long as the risks don't start to outweigh the benefits and if I want to come off it then I have to ween off gradually that way there will be less chance of symptoms returning .

I use it every day. Lots of improvement but started using patches too. Has improved a lot but still working on it.