To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

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Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

I’d raise an eyebrow at someone doing something they clearly didn’t like, but screaming at her makes you sound unhinged.

If you full on screamed at her than yes I think you ABU, nothing wrong with what you said but shouldn't have screamed

you where very unreasonable to scream at her. Screaming at anyone is never good especially not about the holiday choices

Yikes!

I'm with you. I've only been once and found it to be expensive and the accommodationvwas dirty and awful. Never again!

YABU for screaming but I can't understand people moaning about something but doing nothing to change the situation?!

You need to work through your unresolved Butlins anger and let the past go. Then when your sister moans you will be able to just roll your eyes without losing the plot.

I’d take Northumberland, or pretty much anywhere else, over a Butlin’s.

The only saving grace, IME, of a stay at a Butlin’s site is that at least they’re not Pontin’s 😱

My sister has ‘banter’ with me about Butlins. As a uni student I got dragged along and I made my feelings quite clear how much I hated Butlins.

I ended up going a couple of years ago for an adults weekend and loved it!

I’ll take my future kids as a kid they were really good holidays especially with wider family.

OP, yelling at your sister isn’t healthy. You should apologise.

Have you considered trauma therapy?

Goodness me have you considered some therapy for your Butlins rage ! I mean screaming at your sister Is a bit unhinged isn't it ?

i dont think you needed to scream
it all sounds laughable

Screaming. Classy. Like Butlins.

I mean I might've said don't book it anymore then, you always have a complaint, I've heard XYZ is good.
Screaming about Butlins definitely makes you unreasonable.
FWIW I also hate them and regardless of who tells me DS will love it or invites us to go I say no thank you. No screaming though.

The relative merits of Butlins or Northumberland are beside the point. No need for adults to ever scream at each other frankly, but if you mean are you unreasonable for being irritated by her failure to recognise and act on a repeated problem, then YABU.

Sounds like hell!

I enjoy Butlins as do my dds. But it’s not compulsory- maybe she enjoyed it more than you thought. When I was a kid, the older kids were often pretending not to like things.

Butlins, isn't everyone's cup of tea granted but it's very different to how it wss in the 80,s ,mums net can be. very snobby about Butlins imagining it to.be like Hi de Hi we went twice when the kids were little and they loved it most kids do.

Anyone screaming at anyone about anything is being unreasonable. There is no place in any relationship for screaming as a form of communication. That said, I think your sister is bonkers. But just leave her to it and work on your anger management.

Having a calm conversation with her reminding her how miserable it was when you were children and gently suggesting some better options? Not unreasonable at all.

Actually screaming at her about it? Very unreasonable.

I'm with some PPs - you're definitely U for "screaming". It leaves you nowhere to escalate to. I suggest you start with "snapping" next time someone says something that irritates you.

I think it's ridiculous you screamed. From your op I reckon I would have to.