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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

226 replies

RedCoatPhobia · 01/08/2023 09:38

Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 01/08/2023 09:58

Good grief, there’s some po-faced people on this site. Assuming you didn’t LITERALLY scream, and in fact just had a heated argument as sisters are wont to do, then YANBU because people who, a) learn nothing from their mistakes and keep repeating them and b) expect other people to listen and be sympathetic over and over and again about problems solely of their own making, are the most infuriating people on earth.

Your sister sounds like those people who take up a communal hobby, commit to doing loads of activities and meetings and events related to said hobby, and then constantly whine to others about how busy they are with their hobby and how the other hobbyists are pissing them off, as if their hobby activities are somehow fucking obligatory and they don’t have the power to JUST NOT DO THEM.

SmileyClare · 01/08/2023 09:59

You need to work through your unresolved Butlins anger

Sorry but 😂

Perhaps your sister is just a creature of habit, unable to venture out of her comfort zone.
To be fair, the weather is so shit this summer I think everyone is allowed to moan about their uk holiday plans.

Apologise for snapping, hope your sister takes on board your comments and move on x

SGsling · 01/08/2023 10:01

But there are more options than Butlins/Northumberland?

Faircastle · 01/08/2023 10:05

I've learned from this site that holidays do cause some people to scream. At least you weren't in the Sistine Chapel at the time.

BarbaraofSeville · 01/08/2023 10:07

Well screaming at her was rather an over-reaction and I say that as someone who also endured many Butlins holidays as a child, in a time when all my friends were going to Spain or Yugoslavia, as it was in those days. And we were taken to see Rolf Harris perform one of the times we were there. Sad

ModestMoon · 01/08/2023 10:09

Of course YABU for screaming at your sister.

Hoppinggreen · 01/08/2023 10:11

Screaming at her was unreasonable but hating Butlins isn’t

MavisChunch29 · 01/08/2023 10:11

You screamed at her - what like Janet Leigh in Psycho?

Or do you mean "I lost my temper and raised my voice"?

Hijinks75 · 01/08/2023 10:12

Butlins,like many places, is ok occasionally, never really understand why anyone goes to the same place year after year when there are so many places to go, as for Northumberland has the OPs sister been? Stunning part of the country well worth a visit

Sheruns · 01/08/2023 10:13

Ah I kinda like Butlins. I'm off in a fortnight with a very good friend, her little girl and my two kids. We go Monday to Friday and self cater. For our kids ages (6-9) I think it's pretty good and my friend and I do avail ourselves of some grown up time to drink a glass of wine while the kids are entertained. That said, year after year would be too much and definitely not with teenagers who I think might find the enforced, organised fun a bit cringe. Ultimately though it has its place for littlies.

Screaming at your sister sethna a bit much though.

teaandbiscuits56 · 01/08/2023 10:13

This reply has been deleted

This user is a troll so we have deleted their posts and threads.

Whatswhatwhichiswhich · 01/08/2023 10:14

YABU, screaming is reserved for seeing the Sistine Chapel only. It’s not ok to scream at another person ever, it shows a complete lack of control and ability to be a decent person.

ichundich · 01/08/2023 10:14

I think you all need therapy.

Sheruns · 01/08/2023 10:16

Seems*

Moonlightdust · 01/08/2023 10:16

Typical mumsnet. Let’s jump on any verb or adjective used by the OP and turn it on them. 🙄
OP, I think if I have of endured years of Butlins trauma and the constant moaning that followed I would have ended up screaming. YANBU.

Moonlightdust · 01/08/2023 10:16

*had of

Original poster
RedCoatPhobia · 01/08/2023 10:17

My family didn’t need to drink alcohol to start arguing - infact funnily enough the one family member who was a heavy drinker never went on these Butlins holidays!

And yes I’m not exaggerating when I say it was traumatic. Forced to go to triathlons club every day when you were shit at sport, forced to go to youth club every day when you were painfully shy and socially anxious, hiding in a bedroom with your cousins because the adults were all shouting at each other and arguining … and then you get home and have to smile as someone asked you if you enjoyed the holiday as you automatically reply “yes, it was great” … because if you didn’t enjoy it, you were ungrateful, selfish, naughty, moody and miserable. Not to mention “spoiling it for everyone”

OP posts:
SerenityNowInsanityLater · 01/08/2023 10:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Paul2023 · 01/08/2023 10:20

Ive always found it strange that people choose to go to the exact same place every year in the UK. Surely going to Butlins every year is the same old same old ?
Theres other places to go. I’ve even found online Eurocamps abroad in the holidays have a cheaper price than Butlins.

MMorales · 01/08/2023 10:20

We've been going every year for the last few years.

We love it and the kids love.

We don't end up screaming at each other though. I'm glad you dont like it and wont be going.

BarbaraofSeville · 01/08/2023 10:22

Moonlightdust · 01/08/2023 10:16

Typical mumsnet. Let’s jump on any verb or adjective used by the OP and turn it on them. 🙄
OP, I think if I have of endured years of Butlins trauma and the constant moaning that followed I would have ended up screaming. YANBU.

So we're supposed to know that, even though the OP said 'screamed' that wasn't what she meant, even though she repeatedly talked about being 'forced' to do things she didn't want to do so it became a 'horrible fucking chore'?

BBno4 · 01/08/2023 10:24

I do feel sorry for children who are forced into clubs.

My mum would leave us to do our own thing whilst she went to play bingo at a certain time.

Cucucucu · 01/08/2023 10:25

You shouldn’t have screamed at her . No excuse .
This being said Butlins is the lowest form of an excuse of a holiday ! Why would anyone go there us beyond me

ExtraOnions · 01/08/2023 10:26

Hi-de-hi

ChocolateCinderToffee · 01/08/2023 10:29

I would have screamed too. Not as much as I’d scream if forced to go to Butlins on holiday. Funny cos when I was little I thought Butlins was the height of sophistication. We never went though.