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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

226 replies

RedCoatPhobia · 01/08/2023 09:38

Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

OP posts:
Mumof1andacat · 01/08/2023 11:18

Each to their own with regards to holiday choice. Maybe you need to seek counselling for your childhood. Seems to be there was more going on than just a choice of holiday destination.

oakleaffy · 01/08/2023 11:24

''Screaming''?
Sounds rather Butlinesque to scream rather than discuss it sensibly in a normal tone of voice.

Dotjones · 01/08/2023 11:30

I don't think you're unreasonable to scream at someone who thinks Butlins is an acceptable choice for a holiday.

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 01/08/2023 11:31

I do have some sympathy with your sister. It’s very human to keep recreating the trauma of one’s youth in a vain attempt to put it right.

ActDottie · 01/08/2023 11:31

You sound unhinged

whynotwhatknot · 01/08/2023 11:33

I do hate it when people repeatedly do something then moan about it

and whats your holiday got to do with it you havent moaned so why did she bring it up

Quitelikeit · 01/08/2023 11:34

I think this problem is related specifically to your family.

I have great memories of Butlins and many others also have a great time.

YABU to shout and scream however it is not surprising because that is what you learned to do as a child and now you are repeating the style of communication

Abouttimemum · 01/08/2023 11:37

Just came on to say Northumberland is absolutely lush

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 01/08/2023 11:38

I once really lost my rag say dh for similar. He complained several times about a particular local cinema, but kept going back. The last time he started complaining about it I lost it and shouted AND YET YOU KEEP GOING BACK AND GIVING THEM MORE OF YOUR MONEY. If you want to give a shit company your hard earned money then knock yourself out, but I don't want to hear any more complaints about it.

He hasn't been back. He was pretty shocked at my reaction but I just couldn't listen to him moan about something that was entirely within his control. So I really get you on this one.

MollysBrolly · 01/08/2023 11:38

Theres a few families like that here already.
High expectations of a perfect holiday are daft. Chill, relax and don't worry.

mobe the convo on when she starts

Daphnis156 · 01/08/2023 11:39

Screaming at your sister over something not that important...

Are you difficult to live with?

RudsyFarmer · 01/08/2023 11:41

I lived that opening post with you 🤣. Completely on your side.

middleager · 01/08/2023 11:41

YABU for shouting. She is BU for moaning but still going.
Personally, we loved Butlins when mine were younger, 10 years ago, and there is a lot of snobbery around the place. Some of our best hols have been there, excellentclean accommodation and wonderful facilitied and food/entertainment across all sites.

sandyhappypeople · 01/08/2023 11:43

Hahaha! You have some serious repressed rage from back in those days! Good on you for letting it out! Don't worry, she'll forgive you.. if you can't let your true feelings out to a sister, who can you?😂

Seriously though, how is your sister so oblivious as to how shit it is when the kids are older, if she had the exact same experience as you, surely you've spoken about it since/it's become an 'in' joke?

The thing is, there are SO many holiday places above and beyond butlins that there is literally no need to go there? Haven for example have some great parks, the Haven at Pwhelli IS an old Butlins site but it's great, nice and clean with upgraded accommodation, and a bloody lot cheaper that Butlins, most 'big' caravan parks have facilities the same as Butlins now. I think some people just don't like to venture out of their comfort zones!

Northumberland is beautiful BTW.. not so much 'entertainment' for kids though, so maybe that's what she was getting at.

MsCunk · 01/08/2023 11:46

Better to scream about Butlins than to scream at the Sistene Chapel. YADNBU

MsCunk · 01/08/2023 11:47

Better to scream about Butlins than to scream at the Sistene Chapel. YADNBU

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 01/08/2023 11:47

What a lot of drama!

We used to go to Butlins Minehead every year when DS was younger - I think it's a brilliant holiday for DC. We did other holidays as well but it certainly helps resolve the issue of what to do on a rainy day .

salsmum · 01/08/2023 11:48

I've always found that bringing too many folks together for a holiday always ends up with someone falling out because everyone wants to do what pleases them and some folks idea of a holiday is totally different to others. Many families in the 70s and 80s couldn't afford a holiday and as much as I might not enjoy Butlins now as a lone parent with 2 kids in the 90s my kids loved it. The redcoats were much more hands on in those days and really made our time there special.... my grandsons go to centre parks now but we still have fond memories of Butlins even with the damp chalets. I stayed the night in the ocean (?) hotel when my son was performing at a Butlins a couple of years back and I must admit I was impressed with how lovely the accommodation was. Butlins is expensive BUT YABU for screaming at your sister.

JennyJenny8675309 · 01/08/2023 11:49

Is this a genuine question? Of course your response is unreasonable and unhinged. 😂

HarrietJet · 01/08/2023 11:50

the adults were all shouting at each other and arguining
This seems to be how the current crop of adults conduct themselves too...
Why did you think screaming at her was an appropriate way to behave?

RedRobyn2021 · 01/08/2023 11:52

That sounds shit OP

What kind of holidays do your parents go in now?

I went to Butlins last year and the room was very dirty. You'd not have caught my mum taking me, we went on cheap last minute holidays to Greece mostly but I didn't have siblings

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 01/08/2023 11:53

OP - I do think the issue here is your family and how they handle/handled holidays rather than Butlins itself .

Stompythedinosaur · 01/08/2023 11:53

I think the the issue was probably with how your family treated each other, and would have been the same in any other holiday location.

Why scream at your sister? She might remember the holidays differently. Her family might not scream at each other and might enjoy themselves. There are no holiday clubs of the sort to banish kids to anymore.

We are in the process of having a lovely holiday at Butlins, for what it's worth.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 01/08/2023 11:54

My sister drives me to snapping point sometimes. Tbh every time we're together for more than a week. I would say I bite her head off but MN might take that literally.

Does your sister complain about every holiday she takes? Some people do. Perhaps moaning about Butlins has become part of the ritual.

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 01/08/2023 11:55

Butlins these days is great for small-ish kids but i agree it loses appeal as rhey get older.

I'm thinking this isn't about Butlins though.

More that your sister seems stuck in a cycle of doing something she hates and moaning endlessly about this.

I wouldn't have screamed but i would have been quite firm ahout the point: there is a world beyond butlins!