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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have screamed at my sister about Butlins?

226 replies

RedCoatPhobia · 01/08/2023 09:38

Fucking Butlins. Just the name makes me angry.

When we were kids the family (our mum, our aunties and our cousins) would book a yearly holiday to Butlins. We loved it when we were little but as we got older it became a horrible fucking chore. The adults would force us to join “clubs” so that they could have grown up time away from them and most of us hated these clubs. We were forced to watch the babyish entertainment on a night, forced to do sports etc etc - this was the 80s. It was horrible, nobody enjoyed it, the adults usually ended up arguining, the kids were miserable yet they would book it year after year as if it was compulsory. When we were in secondary school one by one the cousins started refusing to go - I first refused to go when I was 14 and then had my auntie shouting at me that I was ruining it for everyone. Then my sister refused to go … by the time I was 15 the Butlins nightmare was thankfully a thing of the past.

Anyway! My sister has 2 children and started booking Butlins every year when her eldest was 3, youngest 1. This has been a yearly thing for the past 8 years. Every single year she starts complaining as soon as she books it “it’s so expensive!” Then when she gets back “it was crap! The chalet was mucky, the entertainment was shit, the kids didn’t want to do anything, the weather was awful “ etc etc

Shes booked again this year and goes at the end of this week. I saw her yesterday and she was complaining that the kids were not grateful, the weather looks to be shit, husband is moaning … “ I ended up screaming at her!! Why the fuck does she book it every year?? Why the fuck did our parents book it every year?? It’s madness! It’s not fucking compulsory to go to Butlins every year!! So she snapped back and said “rather go to Butlins than fucking Northumberland” having a dig at our holiday plans but I don’t book it every year and then complain constantly do I???

OP posts:
Fundays12 · 01/08/2023 11:56

I don't really get it why she books Butlins every year if her kids moan about it but equally your unreasonable to scream at her. We went this summer to Butlins for the first time and all enjoyed it but we booked age appropriate activities for the kids based around what they enjoy (think rock climbing, American pool and Lazer tag for the 11 year old and his dad), soft play, sand art for the younger kids. We also did mini golfing, Go karting, the funfair, swimming and Skye park as a family. We didn't drink during the day except one day we had a late lunch and a couple of drinks before a show and nor did we fight. We went to a couple of shows as a family but took the younger kids to ones they wanted to go to separately. The kids loved it and we go back again in a few weeks. However I can see why you hated Butlins as it sounds miserable with the fighting and not enjoying the activities.

We also went to Northumberland on the way down for a few days before Butlins which we enjoyed and is a beautiful part of the country. You do sound like you have unresolved issues.

AuntieJune · 01/08/2023 11:57

I'd put money on this being about class and your paths through life as much as what happened in the past.

Eg did you go to uni and now have a middle class income etc, whereas sister did not? Does she still live in your home town and you don't?

This reads like you're saying that was miserable, why perpetuate it by continuing to go?

She's saying why are you turning your nose up at our childhood, why do you think you're too good for this?

If your parents were involved they might say it was the best we could manage, sometimes it was crap but we always managed to give you a holiday.

It is possible to have a good time at Butlins, you just don't treat your kids like shit, take the good bits on offer and sidestep the bad bits. But I'd be with you on the Northumberland holiday!

Leah5678 · 01/08/2023 11:57

So people on Mumsnet think Butlins is peasantly? I generally had no idea people even thought that, every time I've been to Butlins it's been awesome haven't been many times even though I live near it because it's actually quite expensive. As for the op it sounds like your family is the problem not Butlins.
So tell me duchesses of Mumsnet what is a suitable family holiday a 50,000 round trip to Mali? God knows

willWillSmithsmith · 01/08/2023 11:59

I understand the screaming as she’s your sister, I’ve had screaming matches with my sister over stupid things over the years - I’d never do that with a friend lol. (Not any longer though as I’m getting too old for all that and we get on well now).

You’ve said your piece to her so I wouldn’t bother engaging in any further rows about it, just roll your eyes or ignore and be glad you never have to go again.

AuntieJune · 01/08/2023 12:00

Leah5678 · 01/08/2023 11:57

So people on Mumsnet think Butlins is peasantly? I generally had no idea people even thought that, every time I've been to Butlins it's been awesome haven't been many times even though I live near it because it's actually quite expensive. As for the op it sounds like your family is the problem not Butlins.
So tell me duchesses of Mumsnet what is a suitable family holiday a 50,000 round trip to Mali? God knows

It's not peasanty, but I'd say it's aimed at working class people. Nothing wrong with that but it's not for everyone. They're often in seaside towns that have seen better days.

I'd be happy staying in a chalet, going in the pool, playing on beach etc but the idea of evening entertainment, games arcades etc is not appealing. And let's face it there's a lot of drinking that goes on

Helendegenerate · 01/08/2023 12:01

@PaterPower

I always believed Pontins was a posher version of Butlins. Not having holidayed at either is this not true? 😐

Sorry didn't have time to read all replies so may have missed some Pontins comments.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 01/08/2023 12:01

Leah5678 · 01/08/2023 11:57

So people on Mumsnet think Butlins is peasantly? I generally had no idea people even thought that, every time I've been to Butlins it's been awesome haven't been many times even though I live near it because it's actually quite expensive. As for the op it sounds like your family is the problem not Butlins.
So tell me duchesses of Mumsnet what is a suitable family holiday a 50,000 round trip to Mali? God knows

Some people just don't like Butlins. Centre Parcs is a better option or Potters Parks. A camper van, a drive over to France etc. all nicer than Butlins.

But of course it's all personal preference and if people love it all power to them.

TheWayoftheLeaf · 01/08/2023 12:02

Helendegenerate · 01/08/2023 12:01

@PaterPower

I always believed Pontins was a posher version of Butlins. Not having holidayed at either is this not true? 😐

Sorry didn't have time to read all replies so may have missed some Pontins comments.

They're pretty much the same tbh

leismah · 01/08/2023 12:02

My family didn’t need to drink alcohol to start arguing

Your family sounds quite unpleasant, who screams at their sister about holiday plans?!

queenMab99 · 01/08/2023 12:08

I think screaming about Butlins is very reasonable with your history. Enjoy Northumberland.

whosaidtha · 01/08/2023 12:25

I hate Butlin's bashing threads. I'd consider myself middle class and we love Butlin's. We have been every year since 2018 (bar Covid) and are going in 3 weeks. My kids 7, 5 and 1 love it and are so excited. I will stop taking them if they grow out of it but for now it's our go to. Also it is so cheap. I looked at centre parks to compare and cp was 3x the price with nothing included. We get all the entertainment and meals included. Win win.

RampantIvy · 01/08/2023 12:31

Why didn't you just ask her in a normal tone of voice why she goes every year instead of screaming at her?

BrokenByDesireToBeHeavenlySent · 01/08/2023 12:32

Can't imagine going the same place year after year. We go somewhere (uk) different every year. We'll go back to somewhere if we really enjoyed it but not for a few years.
But then butlin type holidays are not my idea of a holiday. I go for sightseeing not for the entertainment.

JusthereforXmas · 01/08/2023 12:33

Quitelikeit · 01/08/2023 11:34

I think this problem is related specifically to your family.

I have great memories of Butlins and many others also have a great time.

YABU to shout and scream however it is not surprising because that is what you learned to do as a child and now you are repeating the style of communication

This.

Also OP says she moans about thinks like the weather, the kids and the cost... so does EVERYONE on holiday. Nothing to do with butlins or childhood.

I have friends coming back from Europe claiming it was too hot to even function, I have other friends on Staycation complaining its fucking pissed it down everyday and been grey the whole time... BOTH are valid and neither when booked predictable.

I wonder if OP has kids because kids are as awkward (if not more) on holiday as at home. No matter where you go with young kids its not a holiday its parenting your now hyper kids in a slightly different environment. So moaning Timmy didn't sleep well because hes too hyped and Kacey was cranky from anxious constipation and teething all week is pretty standard type complaints regardless of where you go.

And ALL holidays (and everything else) is expensive. People moan EVERYDAY even on mumsnet, its definately not unique to OPs sister.

I would LOVE to go to Disneyworld with the kids, I can't because its too expensive but if I was spending that much damn sure I would have a moan about the cost to non involved adult loved ones even if I was excited for the holiday because thats a basic part of social communication.

BrokenByDesireToBeHeavenlySent · 01/08/2023 12:35

I'm laughing at the idea of pontins being posh. We "won" a 4 night break for £10 years ago (it was in the newspaper, ring up, they ask 3 questions, if you got them right you got the holiday for £10) there were 1000 they were giving away.
We came home after the first night it was that bad.

Waffle78 · 01/08/2023 12:35

You either love or hate Butlins and me my kids and extended family love it. We've had some of our best holidays at Butlins. Always something to do no matter what the weather is. When you compare it to Haven it's so much better. Mine have special needs so we've never been able to access the kids club or sporting activities. They're with us 24/7 they love the show's. When we go it's family time we don't dump our children on someone else

JusthereforXmas · 01/08/2023 12:35

Helendegenerate · 01/08/2023 12:01

@PaterPower

I always believed Pontins was a posher version of Butlins. Not having holidayed at either is this not true? 😐

Sorry didn't have time to read all replies so may have missed some Pontins comments.

Are you kidding me... Pontins is the deepest layer of hell.

Put it this way I was homeless for 3 years, I have litrally slept rough in the snow and I walked out of Pontins after less than 12 hours because it was so disgusting it felt unlivable.

sadaboutmycat · 01/08/2023 12:38

I take my grandkids and they love it. 16 yr old has been going since she was 4.
Each to their own.

usedtobeasizeten · 01/08/2023 12:42
Screaming Season 5 GIF by Broad City

Why does everyone on MN scream? Someone always ‘started screaming and shouting’ I mean, shout I can understand shouting, but do people literally scream as well….? They actually do this….?

DDivaStar · 01/08/2023 12:44

I get its frustrating but no need to shout or swear. If she complains every year why have you not said anything before, rather than build it up out of all proportion.

Museya15 · 01/08/2023 12:46

I love butlins, its the only place I could afford when I was a single mum. Went back tecently and we all had a great time at the bognor one!

BonjourCrisette · 01/08/2023 12:48

YANBU. I'd rather not go on holiday at all than go to Butlins.

primoseyellow · 01/08/2023 12:51

@RedCoatPhobia I don't blame you for losing your rag, sounds like a weird bizzare thing your sis has to do to carry on a family tradition?

I can't stand people doing the same thing again and again and then moaning.

JaukiVexnoydi · 01/08/2023 12:55

I went once, during school term time before my eldest reached school age. It was... fine. Heaven for a 3yo, tolerable for me. Clean enough. But I wouldn't go every year, and wouldn't go with older kids.

Yanbu to challenge your sister that she knows full well that it's shitty so can't really complain when it is the expected level of shitty. But yabu to scream. You don't need to be emotionally invested in your sister's poor choices.

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 01/08/2023 12:59

Butlins wouldn’t be my first choice of a holiday (maybe a drunken adults weekend).

but why on earth did you feel it warranted screaming at your sister? That’s a massive overreaction. Why does it matter if she goes to butlins and moans about it? It’s something to laugh about, not scream about.

Do you generally have issues with anger management?