AIBU to think this is sexual discrimination?

[Blondie6123]

I Went out this evening for food at a large national pub chain.

I feel slightly embarrassed to publish this, as I have been made to feel like an irresponsible parent, whereas on the contrary I am a very responsible and conscientious person.

I am currently breastfeeding and I know some people choose not to drink but I have done my research and I am happy to have the occasional drink and still feed on the rare occasion. I strongly feel this is personal choice.

I had two glasses of wine over the space of over 2 hours and then ordered a meal with a further glass of wine, which to be honest I would not usually do but this my first time out since my son was born and I was enjoying having time with my partner out of the house.

We sat discretely in the corner and I breastfed my son on our arrival, I had a bottle of pre made formula with me which my partner gave to our son during the evening. It was during this time I consumed two glasses of wine without any issue and without being intoxicated due to the time elapsed.

We then ordered food and a subsequent drink. My son then required a further feed and I started to breastfeed which I felt was fine due to having two alcoholic drinks over a number of hours and feeling sober. Soon after this the manager came over and said I could have no more to drink as we were in charge of a child and mumbled something about pregnant women and a two drink policy if there are children present.

I would understand but there were people in there with children running riot and drinking what they wanted without any intervention or enforcement of the two drink policy. I understand if it’s company policy but surely it becomes discriminatory when not applied universally to the pub clientele and only targeted and the only breastfeeder in the pub? I explained we had been there for a number of hours and I was hardly downing sambucca’s!

I am without doubt that the reason for this intervention was because I had started to breastfeed and this was confirmed by the comment about pregnant woman (as I am not pregnant and clearly the issue was some concern around alcohol transmission through breastfeeding).

I have come away feeling so ashamed and upset. I was at no point drunk or intoxicated and had spaced out drinks adequately to feel I was safe enough to feed my child.

AIBU to think this treatment was discriminatory and unfair? Or should I not be breastfeeding and having alcohol in public again?

3 glasses of wine is over the limit for driving a car. Obviously!

Drinking alcohol is not the same as injecting it directly into your veins. Your numbers are out by a factor of 100.

It’s only sexism if you had to stop but your husband could carry on and get smashed on pints, shots or whatever his tipple is. Don’t just throw that card around.

also, I assume you queried their policy and had a reasonable conversation with them about it or did you just come on here to complain?

This is something people underestimate a lot too (I've been guilty of this for sure).

Blood concentration limit for driving is 0.8% (see gov website). For a woman my size that's just over a double g+t.

I've definitely drunk more than that and thought "fuckit I'm fine to drive" but I'd have been done if I'd been breathalysed.

I appreciate at 50kg I'm slightly smaller than average UK woman but still.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/nursing-and-health-professions/alcohol-blood-level
For an idea of what a blood alcohol level of 0,5% actually entails.

@Mummy08m
From alcohol.org
0.40% and over: This level of BAC may put you in a coma or cause sudden death because your heart or breathing will suddenly stop. This is what is known as a lethal blood alcohol level
A quick check on an alcohol level calculator puts 2 gins for me (55kg) at 0.05% alcohol level - not the 0.5% you have mentioned. Not sure how you calculated it.
I find it all very interesting. Obviously don't condone feeding while drunk but I think it helps to see the numbers.

I'm afraid it is though. Your blood is pretty much the only solvent for your alcohol until it's been metabolised.

0,08% surely.

I'm not sure I'd be drinking alcohol and breastfeeding no matter what the research states. But then that's my choice just like you may choose to drunk a couple of bevvies.

The 2 drink rule though if applied to both parents isn't sexist.

You'd already busted that anyway, you rebel 🤣🤣🤣

The drink driving limit is 80mg in 100ml of blood so that's 0.8%, see gov website. How can they say you're OK to drive in a coma...?

Ps actually my bad it is 0.08%! I'm out by a factor of ten somehow @User65412

@Mummy08m
It's 0.08 BAC not 0.8.

Yep. I don't drink and drive. One single G&T is it.

Yep I've got that - better get back to my calculator sorry. Still the drink driving limit, if such a limit is what we're going for when bf, is just over a double g+t for me (my factor of ten applies all through)

@Mummy08m sorry cross - posted! So the same for your calculations, it'd actually be 0.05ish for a double gin.

This

@Mummy08m and yes absolutely links to the drink drive limit as that's when judgement and impairment come into play which affects the care are able you give you baby. Rather than the risk being from alcohol in breastmilk.
I totally agree with a sensible approach but there's a misconception that it's to do with breastmilk being dangerously alcoholic, which I don't feel is accurate. Not from you I just mean in general!

Have you let the NHS know so they can update their guidance?

Forgetting the pub interaction. Three glasses of wine over 8 or so hours would seem a lot to me, surely three glasses over three hours passes alcohol onto the baby? I would occasionally have one glass of wine and then drink non alcoholic beverages thereafter.

There are plenty of published research sources to support this viewpoint.

La Lech League as an example- Maternal blood alcohol levels must attain 300 mg/100ml before significant side effects are reported in the infant. (80mg/100ml fails the police breath test).

https://www.laleche.org.uk/alcohol-and-breastfeeding/

happy to provide more sources if required

20 years ago I was in a study on whether drinking whisky lead to alcohol being detectable in breast milk - and it was

This.

How drunk/sober you feel is not relevant to how it would affect your baby. I don’t want to judge either as I think this is more of a knowledge issue. It would be better to follow the advice with the baby in mind rather than your own feelings of what is an acceptable amount of alcohol as it appears to others.

For all we know the pub handled it badly and it’s worth complaining but that doesn’t necessarily mean the policy itself is wrong, or that what you were behaving responsibly.

Of course it is fine for a breastfeeding mother to drink if done responsibly. Well done for breastfeeding in public though. Hope you are able to move past this without letting it put you off.

You've done nothing wrong. I drank 3 glasses of wine and continued to breastfeed my son and didn't pump and dump.

I'd like to add you'd literly have to have alcohol poisoning for it to reach baba through the milk.

No it doesn't. Already commented this but you literally have to have alcohol poisoning for it to reach to baba through the milk. I never waited to feed him. Nor i pumped and dumped.

This.

Was it specifically you they wouldn't allow another drink, or all parents?