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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday packing

132 replies

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 31/07/2023 01:36

Who does it? Do you pack for yourself and kids and husband or does husband pack for himself?
I pack for myself and the younger kids. Older teens 17+ and husband I expect to be able to cope with working out what they need and put it in their bags. Everything is washed and ready in their drawers and wardrobes I should add so literally they just have to look, chose and pack.
i also obv pack all the sundries, medical supplies and travel snacks, pillows, blankets etc.

AIBU? I think not but it has been suggested I should be solely responsible!
Mixed responses from friends.

OP posts:
Doidontimmm · 31/07/2023 12:12

@inappropriateraspberry that would drive me nuts but then everyone has their quirks & you get used to them!! I can now see the frustration you would feel on holiday & it’s best to check!!!

SistersNotCisters · 31/07/2023 12:22

We almost never go on holiday but this year when we did, DH and I worked together as we shared a suitcase and the children (16. 13 and 11) all packed their own. We double checked the 11 DS's case but trusted the girls to get their own. We just mentioned they'd need X knickers, X socks etc.
I would not want to be responsible for deciding what DH should take and the girls don't care much for mum's fashion choices for them so are happier getting their own.

BashfulClam · 31/07/2023 12:26

DH packs his own as do I. I remember my mum before going on holiday with my dad ironing everything then packing it all herself. He did nothing. I wasn’t going to martyr myself like that.

fireflyloo · 31/07/2023 12:36

We all pack for ourselves - me, dh and dd11. I will give dd and overview of what to pack.

ProfessorLayton1 · 31/07/2023 13:41

We all pack for ourselves, Dds have been packing since 7/8 years and I used to make a list with them and give the list to them to pack.
They wanted to bring x number of toys, tats, books but the list allowed them to bring some of the things they think was necessary.

MamskiBell · 31/07/2023 14:13

Trez1510 · 31/07/2023 05:08

We identify what the two of us are taking. We then pack them half and half so if one case doesn't turn up we've at least both got something to wear. I've always done this with as anyone I've travelled with because it's what my mother did and it makes sense to me.

That's exactly what we do....just common sense. A little bit of everything (undies/swimwear/evening clothes) etc etc spread across our 3 cases. My worry is the case that has my make up/straighteners in going missing...have literal nightmares!!

NorthernGirlie · 31/07/2023 14:24

I bloody love packing (genuinely) and would pack for dh if he let me!

I pack for me and ds in packing cubes. I do all the toiletries and holiday bits. Dh does tech, his stuff and hoys all the cubes into the cases along with his.

DelilahBucket · 31/07/2023 14:28

I do the actual packing because our things are split between several suitcases (in case one goes missing) and I am the better organiser. DH and DS need to give me what they are taking though for it to be packed.

IceCreamWithSprinkles · 31/07/2023 14:34

I pack for myself, and the kids’ clothes and essentials, and the medical stuff, and the kids pack anything extra they want like entertainment stuff, and my DH just packs for himself. If we are going on UK and taking householdy stuff like cleaning things and food, we would do it together.

To be fair though, I am a massive overpacker, and won’t really let my DH pack for the kids even if he offers, because I know he wouldn’t pack as thoroughly as I do, and would bring a lot less, and it would give me such mega anxiety over not being in control of it that it’s not worth it!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/07/2023 14:43

Me for self, and help 9 yo do his.

14 yo does her own, with maybe a tiny bit of reminding

Really lucky not married to a man who can’t back. Exh did do his own when we were together but then used to make everyone trog round the shops on holiday because he’d forgotten stuff

Not what you want on holiday at all!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/07/2023 14:44

The bathroomy stuff is what times the most brainpower for me though, not clothes.

LemonLimeDivine · 31/07/2023 14:45

I pack for myself and both small children.
DH packs for himself.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 31/07/2023 14:46

I’d actually hate to have someone else pack for me, because they might not bring the stuff I wanted.

BettyOBarley · 31/07/2023 14:47

I sort out for me and kids (plus all other odd bits n bobs). DH packs for himself and I don't get involved with what he's taking/packed!
He actually packs the cases though usually.

FrenchandSaunders · 31/07/2023 14:49

My friend packed her DS's case for a lads trip to Magaluf the other week.

Cheeseplantt · 31/07/2023 14:56

I get DH & 2 late teen DC to get together all their stuff which I then pack - after removing a considerable amount from DH's pile as he completely overpacks and would cost us a fortune in excess baggage charges. I split out the clothes into the suitcases so that if 1 goes missing, we all lose a bit of clothing rather than 1 person loses everything. For little DC, I do everything as he is far too little to bring anything other than toys and food (neither of which he needs to bring!!)

Stompythedinosaur · 31/07/2023 14:59

We all pack for ourselves. The dc have done there own packing since mid primary school, but I talk them through it a bit (e.g. "how many tops will you need?" "Have you remembered pjs/hairbrush/a book").

Loulaa1977 · 31/07/2023 15:05

They should at least sort out what they want to take, even if you then physically put it into the cases. If they refuse, pack all the wrong stuff - they won't insist again 😉

Topseyt123 · 31/07/2023 15:17

All of us pack for ourselves here. I used to help the kids when they were very young, but not since they left primary school. I really couldn't be arsed with that.

DH and I have always packed our own. Neither of us gives a shit if we "match" or not. What the fuck is that all about? Ridiculous.

Notamum12345577 · 31/07/2023 15:24

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 31/07/2023 01:36

Who does it? Do you pack for yourself and kids and husband or does husband pack for himself?
I pack for myself and the younger kids. Older teens 17+ and husband I expect to be able to cope with working out what they need and put it in their bags. Everything is washed and ready in their drawers and wardrobes I should add so literally they just have to look, chose and pack.
i also obv pack all the sundries, medical supplies and travel snacks, pillows, blankets etc.

AIBU? I think not but it has been suggested I should be solely responsible!
Mixed responses from friends.

Mum and dad should jointly pack for the kids, or take it in turns. Unless one of them enjoys always packing for the kids as well!

NamiSwan · 31/07/2023 15:28

We're away at the moment- me, DH, and kids aged 9, 7 and 3. Me and DH wrote the packing list together. We each packed our own clothes, kids ages 9 and 7 packed their own (they were told how many outfits to bring and underwear). Me and DH packed the 3 year olds. Everything else we just sort of packed and ticked off the list as we went. I did more of the "other" packing than DH, who did all the loading into the car.

So no, I absolutely don't think you should be doing all the packing for your family! Everyone can do a bit, even if you end up doing slightly more than everyone else.

afrikat · 31/07/2023 15:29

I pack for myself. My DH packs for himself and the kids

SchoolQuestionnaire · 31/07/2023 15:48

I pack for myself and dd (14). Older ds and dh pack for themselves.

mewkins · 31/07/2023 15:52

I have never packed for another adult. My dd is a teenager and packs for herself (she always asks how many nights we're going for, what the weather will be like etc and packs accordingly). My ds is younger and I pack with him, ask him what he wants to take etc. I will start getting him to think about how many tshirts, shorts ect he thinks he might need so that I don't inadvertently raise a man who can't pack his own 😄

hby9628 · 31/07/2023 16:17

I pack for DD8 & me. DD12 gets her own bits together. DH does his own. I do most of the organising of money/food/towels/toiletries/beach stuff but DH sorts & packs the car
We are going next fri for 2 weeks but we are both working right up to the night before we go so I've started sorting bits already.

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