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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday packing

132 replies

Whowhatwherewhenwhy1 · 31/07/2023 01:36

Who does it? Do you pack for yourself and kids and husband or does husband pack for himself?
I pack for myself and the younger kids. Older teens 17+ and husband I expect to be able to cope with working out what they need and put it in their bags. Everything is washed and ready in their drawers and wardrobes I should add so literally they just have to look, chose and pack.
i also obv pack all the sundries, medical supplies and travel snacks, pillows, blankets etc.

AIBU? I think not but it has been suggested I should be solely responsible!
Mixed responses from friends.

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 31/07/2023 08:17

@DappledThings It's not so much about things matching, as just working as an appropriate outfit for where we are/what we are doing. I don't count his socks or pants - he's perfectly capable of sorting that.
He just doesn't seem to picture clothes and their suitability for some reason. And I don't want to have to take time out of my holiday for us to go shopping for clothes in an unfamiliar place where you don't know what shops there are or what they sell.

Dulra · 31/07/2023 08:18

I pack for myself dh for himself. Two older teens pack for themselves with a check from me because one in particular tends to overpack! My youngest daughter is 11 she gets her stuff out and I pack for her. If there is a luggage restriction issue like on a plane I tend to do the suitcase weighing etc. I also get snacks organised, passports etc. I am part-time and dh full-time he tends to always get stuck late at work late finishing things off before we head away so everything bar his stuff is ready for what's often an early morning flight. If we are just going away for a few days on a staycation everyone just packs for themselves

WonderingWanda · 31/07/2023 08:24

Up until recently I have packed for myself and the kids. I never get involved in dh's packing, just like I have nothing to do with clothes shopping or what he wears...I am not his mother and I can never get my head around women who do this for their dh's. Dc are just hitting teens and teens now and for short trips recently I have got them to pack, then I have gone through it and checked they've remembered underwear and toothbrushes etc. For our holiday this summer I will probably do similar. Let them chose what they want and then make some suggestions. My son will pack 3 cans of Lynx, some air pods, some swim shorts and the clothes he's wearing and think he's sorted if left entirely to his own devices 🤣

rainbug · 31/07/2023 08:27

Last couple of years our holidays have followed husband's week of night shifts, he arrives home on Monday at about 7am and we leave by 12.30 so I've ended up packing for him. He gets the stuff out that he wants to pack and I just put it in the luggage.

My oldest (5yrs) and middle (3yrs) child help me pack. We talk about what they want to take and they get it from their wardrobe and bring it to me to pack in their trunkies. If it doesn't fit in their trunki it doesn't go. My oldest then helps with getting the clothes for her baby sister.

I give the oldest two a backpack that they can put tots, books, colouring etc in. If it doesn't fit in the bag it doesn't go.

Worldgonecrazy · 31/07/2023 08:31

I pack for me. DD has packed for herself since she was about 8, she’s now a teenager so other than a quick sense check she’s responsible for herself. I never pack for DH. He does not travel light and if he forgets anything, it’s on him.

We are very frequent travellers though so it’s routine for us.

WandaWonder · 31/07/2023 08:34

I physically organise the suitcase but dh has to give me his clothes etc. I never do that bit for him, same with anything he or ds wants packed they have to give it to me

It wouldn't work 3 individual people all at the suitcase I don't think, as we all share one

StartingOnTime · 31/07/2023 08:35

Surely nobody packs for their husband?

Franklin2000 · 31/07/2023 08:52

I pack for me and DS. DH gets his stuff out and I pack it as I like to spread our clothes between 3 cases in case one gets lost! I sort toiletries, passports, tickets, plane food etc. DH sorts airport run. I’m part time so it’s easy for me to sort the other bits out while he’s at work.

JudgeJ · 31/07/2023 09:03

StartingOnTime · 31/07/2023 08:35

Surely nobody packs for their husband?

Apparently one person earlier likes to dictate what he wears so does it, poor bloke, maybe he likes not matching on holiday!

inappropriateraspberry · 31/07/2023 09:08

@JudgeJ I do not dictate what he wears or make us 'match!' If I left him to his own devices he would take 1 t shirt, 3 long sleeved tops, a pair of jeans and 1 pair of swimming shorts for a beach holiday!
He picks out his clothes, but I will go through it with him and make him think about what he is taking. I'm trying to teach him! I reckon his mum packed for him most of his life and he never learnt how to do it properly on his own.

pamplemoussemousse · 31/07/2023 09:11

I'm the expert packer (family of 5, so a lot of items for a 2 week break) DH and dc bring me their stuff and I pack it in the case.

I suppose in theory I pack DH clothes but it's not like I go through his wardrobe picking his outfits! If he only puts 2 pairs of boxers in the pile he gives me then he's only taking 2 pairs of boxers. It's my job to fit everything into the cases, not police what's being taken.

We do a lot of driving holidays so he generally packs the food, car items, any camping equipment etc

DappledThings · 31/07/2023 09:12

inappropriateraspberry · 31/07/2023 09:08

@JudgeJ I do not dictate what he wears or make us 'match!' If I left him to his own devices he would take 1 t shirt, 3 long sleeved tops, a pair of jeans and 1 pair of swimming shorts for a beach holiday!
He picks out his clothes, but I will go through it with him and make him think about what he is taking. I'm trying to teach him! I reckon his mum packed for him most of his life and he never learnt how to do it properly on his own.

So? Maybe he will only.learn if you let him lack haphazardly and end up uncomfortable in too hot clothing. Or he isn't too hot and doesn't mind jeans at the beach.

Nodancingshoes · 31/07/2023 09:16

I pack for myself and younger ds.. Dh packs for himself. My 16 year old packed for a weekend away recently amd only took 1 outfit so I will oversee that next time 🤣

HerRoyalNotness · 31/07/2023 09:18

I refuse to pack for another adult. I pack for myself and 3 DC that’s enough work for one person. Teaching the older two slowly. I tell them about how many of each thing to pack for example and they get it out. Next step to get their own suitcases and make them totally responsible

Peony654 · 31/07/2023 09:19

Baffled by anyone that packs for their partner. I'd only pack for myself, and assist children with packing. Of course we coordinate on packing communal items.

hahahahahahahahahah · 31/07/2023 09:19

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AllyCart · 31/07/2023 09:22

Seems bizarre to me that any adult or 15+ teen wouldn't pack their own stuff.

DH got back Saturday from a 2 week business trip to USA and I wouldn't have a clue about what he did or didn't take or bring home, other than seeing the shirts he's already washed and folded ready to be ironed when he gets round to it.

It's no different for holidays for us.

Newusernamee · 31/07/2023 09:25

Icequeen01 · 31/07/2023 08:11

DH packs for everyone as he's a brilliant packer (unlike myself). It's hilarious as we have the cases on the bed and he stands there calling out "pants, bras, nighties, things to wear in the evening" and I just hand him the stuff. He also does all the ironing so it's all folded to perfection. I'm very happy with this arrangement 😀

This would be my husband! He’s ex military and if he could pack for us all then he would be in his element. His cases will literally be ready by the door 3 days before we are due to leave! I meanwhile am his packing nemesis. I Chuck everything in last minute and hope for the best! Our 11 year old does a mixture of his own and us helping him remember stuff.

Mysleepisbroken · 31/07/2023 09:25

We mostly go camping at the moment so there's a lot to pack.

I tend to do mine and the children's clothes and my husband did his own, mostly because he is more minimalist with packing than I'm comfortable with.

But he does miss if the other camping packing and is the one trying to fit it all in the car. He does the lugging and I do the physically easier bits because I have issues with my back etc.

We do about the same amount of work, both start packing the same time and both only finish when its done.

inappropriateraspberry · 31/07/2023 09:26

@DappledThings But then the family has to deal with him moaning about how hot or cold he is! It wouldn't just affect him. He doesn't consider the fabrics either and can't understand that some clothes may look right but be too thick or thin. I don't know why he hasn't learnt this skill, but he just can't get it.
He's very much like a teenager that needs his choices checking like some other posters upthread. As I say, it isn't something he has learnt yet, but I'm working on it!

MrsRandom123 · 31/07/2023 09:28

I pack for myself & kids as they are 9 & 13 as well as all toiletries & anything else we need - husband sorts himself & thats it.

evtheria · 31/07/2023 09:35

I pack for myself, DS9, and 'general family stuff'. DP does his own clothes and carry-on, though he'll look at my list to check his things.
DS will choose the exact items when I've given him a basic idea 'two books, a stuffed toy' etc.
I don't think packing is fun but I do find it satisfying, my favourite bit is making a packing list... My pet peeve is DP interrogating me at the very end (rather than collaborating when I begin) "Did you pack this? What about this? Don't forget x." Oh do go away, I've done it now.

cocksstrideintheevening · 31/07/2023 09:36

We all pack for ourselves. DTs are 12 and their suitcases are packed and ready to go - we don't go on holiday until Sunday.

iamthattree · 31/07/2023 09:39

I pack for me and the joint washing bits. Dh packs for him and all the chargers/electronics bits. Teen dds pack for themselves with a bit of 'you have remembered a coat, you have got enough pants' from us both but we don't check.

I do the passports/tickets/money bits for us all though.

EspanolSiesta · 31/07/2023 09:41

Joint effort in our house although I have to check on Dh! He has autism and packing is something he finds very stressful as he tends to be disorganised.

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