I'm worried the baby I'm pregnant with isn't mine and the ivf clinic have given me the wrong embryo

[hcarter8]

Worried baby isn't mine?

I'm very happily pregnant from IVF but can't stop wondering whether the baby is actually mine. We used my eggs and husband's sperm, but I can't help but wondering if our clinic perhaps made a mistake and used someone else's eggs and/or sperm, or replaced someone else's embryo.

I saw an article in the press about ten years ago for having fertilised eggs with the wrong sperm (was noted immediately ) and one of But I can't help but wonder.

I think the reason I'm overthinking is because I've actually witnessed something like this happen to somebody first hand. One of my old work Colleagues about 7 years ago had Ivf, she had a great pregnancy with no issues (she and her husband were black) the baby boy came out white with blue eyes. When the baby was three months they had a DNA test and they were right, it wasn't their child but she grew attached to the baby and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to give the baby she carries back to it's real mum. I'm not quite sure what happened after that because she relocated it's actually what made me quite hesitant to start IVF but I eventually grew a pair and got over it.

I know it sounds silly because it's so rare but I think it's just my hormones raging and I suppose that even after baby is born, unless it looks extremely different than husband or I we will never actually know for certain whether it's really our baby, unless we do a DNA test to put my mind at ease.

Has anyone else had this? Or am I just turning into a loon?

Also this is my first child

I would say it’s a normal fear to have with stuff like this, but I wouldn’t stress about it too much. The regulations have tightened over the years. A mistake is still possible of course, we are only human, but the chances of it happening is very very small

It is vanishingly unlikely given all the checks and balances they have in place now due to previous devastating errors.

I think what is more important is that you get help for your anxiety - as a fellow IVF mum I can completely relate to those crazy feelings that overwhelm you as you have had so many years of stress and heartache. I had counselling all the way through my pregnancy and it really helped.

Take care of yourself and best wishes from one IVF veteran to another ❤️.

I'm sure this must cross most people's mind when it comes to DNA!

I wondered whether our cats ashes that came back was actually a bit of dead fox or someone's Yorkshire terrier.

When you have to put your whole trust into someone to get something right, it's only normal to wonder if they might make a mistake.

I meant IVF, not DNA!

The chances of that happening are so much smaller than the chances of a thousand other things going wrong. I think you are being irrational, but you're allowed! IVF takes a terrible toll and everyone expects you to be happy and forget about it all once the 2 blue lines are there but you have a lot to process. At least I did, I also had IVF. Try to just focus on the little life growing inside you!

I think theses fears are quite normal - but it’s vanishingly unlikely. You could ring the clinic and ask them to go through their procedures if you want.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I know two people that had this happen. when ds was in nursery, one of his peers had DNA testing as there was questions on his looks and was an IVF baby. they used the wrong embryo!
I have a few friends who have used ivf for various reasons. out of 5, one of them was given the wrong sperm - was supposed to be her DH but instead got mixed up and was a random doner.
it happens but your baby is your baby. attachment isn't affected by silly mistakes xx

My embryologist was very good looking, and I often joked to my husband that I would have his baby any day of the week (there was a notable case in the news of that happening around the time)!

Seriously though, I could hear the clinic staff checking all numbers etc multiple times before we had the blastos put back in. It's possible of course, but like pp said very very rare. All of my babies are definitely mine and DH.

On the other hand, sometimes I think I could do with children that don't have some of our less appealing personality traits or eczema prone skin😂

I can imagine this being a common fear with ivf. In fact when I was pregnant (not ivf) with my first, I had the most vivid dreams my baby wasn't my husbands. Definitely not a possibility but I must have had about 7 or 8 of those dreams in total over the pregnancy and they stayed with me for days after.

Do you think you're focusing on this because you're having trouble just relaxing and being happy with the pregnancy, after, I'm guessing, a difficult road to get here?

That's really unhelpful 🙄🙄🙄

OP wanted honesty I imagine.

I was terrified of exactly the same thing. I think it’s a very rational fear. However, my son is one now and and there is absolutely no doubting he is our baby 😂

Checks are in place - think how many times they read out your wristband name /number and the embryo one on transfer. It’s your baby. Massive congratulations!

@sewerrat what bollocks, this is vanishingly rare but you know TWO people? Jog on 🙄

@hcarter8 IVF mum here. I had this worry. It developed into full blown antepartum and then postpartum anxiety. With hindsight, the clue was that I just could not rationalise that I knew this would not have happened but it stayed stuck as a thought anyway. There is support out there - ask your midwife, you deserve support x

I know OF two. however, I am in a crowd where a lot of people have ivf so naturally it is skewed.

Well that's going to make the obviously extremely anxious OP feel loads better - nice one!

I worried about that too!

When the baby came, I forgot the fears.

As soon as any characteristics came through, he was clearly ours.

Suspect it’s a normal fear, displacing fear of not getting pregnant.

Tell yourself you will do a DNA test. Almost certainly you won’t feel the need when your child starts developing.

I think when it's been a difficult journey to get pregnant it's quite normal to have some anxiety over something. Once your baby arrives I am sure your anxieties will be eased.

Despite being able to feel constant kicking and often an actual foot poking me in the ribs, I remained convinced that someone was going to tell me I wasn't pregnant with a real baby after a horrible experience with a missed miscarriage. Spent a lot of time googling phantom pregnancies. Try to view the feelings you are having as just that feelings and not reality.

I would tell yourself that if you are still unsure when the baby arrives you will have a DNA test and see how you feel then.

would you prefer I lied?

My son was whisked off to nicu before either of us saw him when he was born.
I worried he had been switched.
He is an absolute replica of me and my husband, and his little sister.

Didn't stop me worrying, or wondering occasion.

Congratulations

Statistically that person you know took the chance of that happening to you. She’s taken the hit if you see what I mean. But I can see why you’d worry, having seen it happen!

Speak to the clinic. Ask them to talk you through their process. It will help alleviate your worries.

How far gone are you?

Although not the same, I was utterly convinced when pregnant, that I would attend the next scan for them to tell me that I wasn't actually pregnant at all. I suppose, almost like a form of imposter syndrome?

Plesse speak to your midwife, they'll have heard it all before and you nerd support right now

Not helpful. And those are just the people you know of Sewerrat? Really? What a shocker! Did either of them sue the clinic? Did it make the news or did they keep it on the lowdown apart from the nursery gossip? When did this happen? Have the families had counselling?

OP I am sure that if you approached the clinician they could talk you through the checks in place to prevent this happening at all never mind make it incredibly unlikely. Maybe that would put your mind at rest?