I'm worried the baby I'm pregnant with isn't mine and the ivf clinic have given me the wrong embryo

[hcarter8]

Worried baby isn't mine?

I'm very happily pregnant from IVF but can't stop wondering whether the baby is actually mine. We used my eggs and husband's sperm, but I can't help but wondering if our clinic perhaps made a mistake and used someone else's eggs and/or sperm, or replaced someone else's embryo.

I saw an article in the press about ten years ago for having fertilised eggs with the wrong sperm (was noted immediately ) and one of But I can't help but wonder.

I think the reason I'm overthinking is because I've actually witnessed something like this happen to somebody first hand. One of my old work Colleagues about 7 years ago had Ivf, she had a great pregnancy with no issues (she and her husband were black) the baby boy came out white with blue eyes. When the baby was three months they had a DNA test and they were right, it wasn't their child but she grew attached to the baby and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to give the baby she carries back to it's real mum. I'm not quite sure what happened after that because she relocated it's actually what made me quite hesitant to start IVF but I eventually grew a pair and got over it.

I know it sounds silly because it's so rare but I think it's just my hormones raging and I suppose that even after baby is born, unless it looks extremely different than husband or I we will never actually know for certain whether it's really our baby, unless we do a DNA test to put my mind at ease.

Has anyone else had this? Or am I just turning into a loon?

Honesty yes.

“It happened to a friend of mines friend, really it did “ stories, no.

Stop being dramatic. This person's just giving her opinion.

You could have applied the rule - is it true, is it kind, is it necessary, is it helpful and realised that as the answer is ‘no’ to at least 3 of those questions, you should have not posted at all. Just a thought.

If you have carried and bonded with that 'Baby', of course it's 'Your' baby, even if a mistake was made {Unlikely}.

There will probably be a strong family resemblance phenotypically if the child has both your DNA as the child grows up {or you can do a DNA test}

OP, the chances are vanishingly small that this wouldn't be your embryo. The protocols are there to avoid anything like that happening. Your body is nourishing the pregnancy, you will give birth to the baby - your baby. This is just anxiety, understandable anxiety rearing it's head.
Congratulations OP and please do try to put this out of your mind.

A couple of friends have had this fear particularly as the other male in the waiting room on wank day was of another race. Thankfully both babies came out the expected colour and look just like their fathers. I’m told there are barcodes on all the materials for each couple and alarms go off if the wrong ones are in the area when egg meets sperm.

Red hair is a recessive gene though, so if both you and your DH have it lurking somewhere in your DNA then it has joyfully given you your bright, outgoing,confident little red head.

That sounds like an urban myth.

''Wank days''.

I think this is quite common. After ds1 was born, he was taken away from me immediately and was out of sight for 5 mins or so. For weeks I had this awful nagging fear that he had been mixed up with another baby, I have no idea why. It was only when I noticed that the shape of his ears was exactly like dh’s that I let go of this fear. Don’t let it stop you bonding with your baby (I did, and still feel guilty now). Congratulations and I hope all goes well for you x

By which I mean the day that dad visits the clinic to donate his sample as you well know.

And I’m giving my opinion - that she’s being deliberately nasty to upset the OP.

Have a further opinion - it’s not up to you to tone police me.

The racial stereotypes make this sound like a load of urban myth nonsense.

Deep breaths, you just have to trust that they checked, and checked, and then again.
If you suffer anxiety, seek advice from your midwife or your BP will be increasing with worry.

I think this is a really really normal fear with IVF, but it’s vanishingly rare.

Despite being shown the Petri dish with my name on, I was convinced my first child was a mix up for the first couple of weeks. She’s a perfect mix of my DH and I and looks so much like her siblings it feels ridiculous now…

ivf pregnancies are anxious times, you can never quite shake the feeling that you will be forever on the wrong side of statistics. If you are struggling you may be able to access your clinic’s counsellors. Ignore the total dicks who ‘ know someone who…’ on this thread, it’s just spiteful bollocks.

Not ivf but I had similar feelings after having my dd under GA EMCS after a traumatic induction. Because I was unconscious when she was born, I just woke up to see my dh feeding a baby with a bottle, I felt it could have been anyone's baby.

I'm mixed race with jet black hair and brown skin and my dh is white and blond and my (gorgeous, wonderful) dd is white with fair-ish hair. For months I felt like she wasn't my baby even though I was extremely attached to her and clung to her almost 24-7 for the first few days. Dh had to point out she has my unique ears! (I have unique ears.)

I read afterwards that's this is quite a common anxiety especially if you have PPD so I can imagine you could have it from a distressing conception as well as distressing birth.

Even now, the other day the postwoman said unprompted that dd looks just like me. I can't ever see it tbh and I'm convinced that they're just being nice!

I got over it very gradually and it took me over a year to stop worrying about it completely. Hopefully you'll be the same and shake off this feeling after a while.

Hopefully it's reassuring to know it's not that uncommon to feel this way

Cross my heart promise that both my friends came home that day and rang me to say that the other bloke in the waiting room was the opposite build and a different ethnicity to their husband and both were genuinely worried that the baby would come out looking more like the other bloke. It’s not racist- just more obvious at birth than if the other possible dad is similar looking to your husband.

I can’t imagine this is true it very very rare.

As an IVF mum I get it it’s really hard to relax when pregnant and I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy and only relaxed at like 35/36 weeks because I worried about loosing my baby.

I would say it’s totally normal to feel anxious. Perhaps speak to your midwife with your concerns.

It's a normal worry. I had my doubts as I couldn't see anything of myself in my baby daughter (she looked quite like my husband's niece in some ways so we knew we were ok on his side). My mum brought some of my baby photos over on my daughter's first birthday. Omg we were like two peas in a pod! After that I have no doubts.

Mix ups are vanishingly rare. I really struggle to believe that the poster upthread knows 2/5 in her social circle. That would be an incredible coincidence.

It’s totally normal to worry but try to put it out of your mind. Both my girls are ivf (my egg, husbands sperm, same as you, one fresh, one frozen) and it did cross my mind but it’s so unlikely these days. The clinics triple check everything. Enjoy your pregnancy and good luck!!!

What? That's not how statistics work! If your neighbour gets cancer, for example, it doesn't magically reduce your own chances of getting it!

Hey OP. Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sure this is a case of “This wonderful thing has happened to me and everything is going smoothly so I need to think of something to worry about.” I didn’t have IVF so I know it’s not the same but I was like this throughout pregnancy - and I still am as a mum! I recall telling a team of doctors my concerns they’d mix up my baby with another after my C-section. As if they hadn’t delivered thousands of babies before…

I can only imagine how rigorous the measures are to prevent this from happening so please try not to let this spoil this special time. But do talk to your midwife/consultant about your concerns. It’d be great if they could be alleviated soon.

I hope/am sure your little one will arrive and look just like at least one of you instantly (my little one did) and then they change almost daily and take on features from the other parent.

All the best!

First of all - congratulations! This is wonderful news.

I am guessing you had a tough path to here, so is it possible you are shifting your anxiety from the fear of not getting pregnant to the fear that somehow something has gone wrong? The chances of this are very small.
pregnancy is tough on your body, IVF even more so. Do talk to your midwife - I had a different issue (birth trauma) and my midwife was incredible on this and got me a counselling session with a specialist mental health midwife.

sending you all the best wishes for your pregnancy xx

I didn't see any racial stereotyping in the post?

I had this and did wonder. When the baby arrived it was obviously not a mixup but if I was still worried I would have done a dna test

Do get help for invasive thoughts, it would be a shame for this to spoil your happiness at a wonderful time. I think @Jo190 is on the money - your brain is looking for something to worry about - maybe look for some cognitive behavioural therapy books for self help if these thoughts are making you really unhappy?

Best wishes for a happy and successful rest of your pregnancy.