I'm worried the baby I'm pregnant with isn't mine and the ivf clinic have given me the wrong embryo

[hcarter8]

Worried baby isn't mine?

I'm very happily pregnant from IVF but can't stop wondering whether the baby is actually mine. We used my eggs and husband's sperm, but I can't help but wondering if our clinic perhaps made a mistake and used someone else's eggs and/or sperm, or replaced someone else's embryo.

I saw an article in the press about ten years ago for having fertilised eggs with the wrong sperm (was noted immediately ) and one of But I can't help but wonder.

I think the reason I'm overthinking is because I've actually witnessed something like this happen to somebody first hand. One of my old work Colleagues about 7 years ago had Ivf, she had a great pregnancy with no issues (she and her husband were black) the baby boy came out white with blue eyes. When the baby was three months they had a DNA test and they were right, it wasn't their child but she grew attached to the baby and didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to give the baby she carries back to it's real mum. I'm not quite sure what happened after that because she relocated it's actually what made me quite hesitant to start IVF but I eventually grew a pair and got over it.

I know it sounds silly because it's so rare but I think it's just my hormones raging and I suppose that even after baby is born, unless it looks extremely different than husband or I we will never actually know for certain whether it's really our baby, unless we do a DNA test to put my mind at ease.

Has anyone else had this? Or am I just turning into a loon?

You think she needed to hear that?

Reassurance is what she needed.

Why would you intentionally fuel a pregnant woman's fears?
Would you do the same with still births if that's what she was worried about?

What a frigging weird thing to do.

Considering the stats on this in the UK are extremely low with the extremely strict guidelines there's an unbelievable amount of people who 'know someone' it happened too 

@hcarter8 I have IVF. I tbh j it's a normal fear and odd things pop into your brain when you're pregnant but the chances are so very low. Remember the million checks they did with the id and bracelets at transfer.

If you really can't shake it you can get a DNA test done but I think it's highly likely you won't need it.

Absolute nonsense.

Oh, you have my sympathy. I work in a professional role- not medicine or ivf- but know only too well, how individual cases which are all very special to owners are simply a number and object on a conveyor belt being handled according to strict laws/regulations etc but you have to account for human error being made by someone who is nearing their lunch break and have to place the last two in their already allocated storage shelves and in doing so puts right hand where it should go into left hand. Insurance is there for them.

Do try to relax, although it is hard!

I have worried about this (Dd conceived through ivf) Dh and I are both dark hair, she’s red headed, very pale, freckly etc, doesn’t look like either of us 🙈She’s also extremely outgoing & confident..we’re not.

IVF takes a massive toll on your emotions so this is probably displaced anxiety. I was very anxious for the first six months of DD1’s life, which was very unlike me (though she was a bloody hard work baby) but was clearly a lasting effect of the IVF.

When DD2 came along 2.5 years later the effect was much, much less.

Make sure you take care of yourself OP, and don’t be so busy that you don’t leave time to process the last year or so.

Hmm highly unlikely, although I watched something maybe trigonometry where the guy was a product of sperms donation and it turned out to be the fertility doctor, who had fathered scores of babies

@Onanislandinthesun I have dark hair and brown eyes, my partner dark with green. We have a blonde hair blue eyed baby that was conceived naturally. I'm sure the baby is just a 'throwback' to other generations genes

All these things are what made me not go the IFV route where I was first going to have to see if it MIGHT work for me.

I am open to using surrogacy though. Then I wonder why I don't just adopt? And then I think maybe I don't want a screaming baby after all. So perspective is always important at all times.

As I said n another thread, I adopted an orphan when I was 25 yo and she 2 yo so I am not entirely child (now adult child) free, so my situation is fine to me.

I think these ponderings are just the language of anxiety when you're pregnant. My dc were conceived 20 odd years ago, the standard way, but I remember thinking, ''what if X isn't the father?''. I somehow couldn't connect him to what was happening inside me. He was the biological father but yet I had this weird intrusive thought ''what if he's not?'' and yet, I couldn't think who else would be the father. I read somewhere that this is not a freakishly unusual anxiety to have when pregnant, and I'd imagine with IVF that anxiety is doubled.

I’m going to assume you’ve had a difficult journey to need to get pregnant by IVF so maybe you’re struggling to believe your genetic material will bring this baby you’re carrying to life? I’ve got some news for you, it can. I’ve got some more news for you, your body will do a perfectly good job of nourishing this genetic material that is turning in your baby too.

I didn’t need IVF, but was just about to be recommended for it when we fell pregnant on our own. I couldn’t really accept my little girl was going to be fine until she was born. I didn’t believe my body was capable after all the time it’d taken to start a pregnancy. She was born and she is fine, glorious in fact. The two babies I know born from IVF very much belong to their parents also and no one has any reason to suspect otherwise.

The baby may not look like you or your partner when they’re born but that doesn’t mean anything. It can take time for characteristics to develop. I’d maybe ask to speak to the perinatal mental health midwives if your anxiety is becoming intrusive - I speak from experience.

My thinking too!

I felt exactly the same and whilst pregnant I thought I’m not going to stress about it and I’ll just have a dna test when the baby is born. Anyway she came and I knew she was mine the moment I locked eyes on her. So the dna test has gone out of the window and I wouldn’t care regardless as I’m keeping her forever ;)

Gorgeous 💛🌼

One of the strangest MN posts ever.

When our embryos were put in, they explained that had they brought the wrong ones out, an alarm would have sounded! They double checked our details at every point.
You could always ask your clinic how they double check they have the right embryos if that would ease your worry? I am sure they explain it a lot.

I had IUI - when she was born, DH and i did a DNA test just to check she was definitely his and no mistakes had been made. He loved her anyway and knew the results would make no difference to that, we just wanted to be sure. Fwiw, we are both definitely her parents 😁

That is absolutely not how statistics and probability work. Just because you roll a six once doesn’t mean you’re less likely to do it the next time.

But @hcarter8 I’m sure it’s a natural thing to worry about when everything is so out of your control. And very unlikely to happen. Congratulations on your baby 😊

No idea but I've had 2 IVF babies and no DNA tests needed. From looks and personality they're both totally ours 🤷‍♀️ it's so uncommon there's a mistake. That's not what you're worried about though, it's your fear the pregnancy won't be viable and your current hopes for a child will collapse that's manifesting as this fear. Have some counselling hon 💐

There is the third option of just staying quiet. Not replying.
That's not lying.

I’m currently pregnant with an IVF baby and was worried about this also. My friend who is an embryologist reassured me that lots of people worry about the wrong embryo being transferred but reassured me that nowadays it’s almost impossible for this to happen. The protocols are really strict now and she said only one collection of embryos is removed from storage at any one time. The worst than can go wrong is that they may transfer the wrong one of YOUR embryos (i.e. accidentally transfer a poorer quality one) but given that you’re pregnant it’s unlikely that’s happened. I felt reassured after chatting to her - it seems that mistakes from the past have been learnt from and procedures are now in place.

I know of four couples who have conceived via ivf twice and you can clearly see the children are definitely theirs. Try not to worry. It’s so highly regulated now.

It's hardly a "silly mistake" though when this actually happens.

My good friend works at an IVF clinic. Mistakes can happen, but barely ever.

No, she obviously wanted reassurance and instead you’ve deliberately wound her up further. One of the nastiest responses I’ve ever seen on Mumsnet (and that’s saying something).