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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is this normal after having a baby/child?! DH thinks I'm being weak

132 replies

brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:14

I should say DH is v supportive and he sort of said it in a concerned way, like he didn’t think it was normal. Is it?! I didn’t expect it. Our DD is almost 1. For context I am currently a SAHM and DH does more than his share when around but obviously I am doing the lion’s share generally.

I feel OLD. My body aches. I hurt my back a few weeks ago and it was horrible lifting DD, it has got slightly better now but in general I feel really sluggish. She sleeps ok and it’s not like I’m not sleeping but my feet hurt, I often have headaches, getting my period now is a huge inconvenience as I struggle with my usual period pain and looking after DD - I take stuff for it but it’s just a total ‘urgh’ feeling. I’m constantly rushing around and sometimes when she’s gone to bed I just lie on the bed for half an hour and feel my body pulsating a bit, not sure how to describe it! I do exercise and last week for instance we met a friend and went for a long walk, had lunch. I’m perfectly able to do things but I feel so sluggish and weird parts of my body ache. I am surprised at how physically demanding I am finding it. I have always been quite slim, I’m not massively fit but also can go on a long walk, run up the stairs, etc. Ive never been someone to sit around so I don’t think it’s a generally fitness problem.

I didn’t expect this at all! I eat ok food, not always that healthy but i do try and have a decent meal a day and then also have breakfast etc. I wouldn’t say my diet is much different to pre baby, though I have always had a sweet tooth.

I feel physically a bit of a wreak! I’m 35 so maybe expected? I was fully prepared for my time to be largely given up for DD and have adapted well to that side of things but the physical side is just on another level! I sometimes find myself dreading having to start the day and lift and struggle with nappies and run up and down stairs and genuinely long for the moment in the day where I can sit with a tea!

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:17

A few weeks ago I skipped bath time a could of days as I just couldn’t face the whole event!

OP posts:
whoami24601 · 30/07/2023 08:18

Honestly no, that's not my experience at all of having a 1 year old. Have you had your iron levels checked? It might be worth booking into your GP and having a general health check.

SGsling · 30/07/2023 08:18

That does not sound normal or right to me at all. Is it possible you are anaemic or have a deficiency of some sort?

DoesItHaveKosovo · 30/07/2023 08:18

I think it’s normal (definitely happened to me, and I was the same age when mine was born) but I used it as a reason to get fitter and stronger. I also find if I keep busy in the evening s and don’t crash on the sofa after bedtime, it makes me more energetic.

Maybe start yoga or Pilates as it’s low impact? You can do YouTube videos for yoga.

Londonnight · 30/07/2023 08:19

I think you need to see your GP. Have you had your iron levels checked? You sound very run down.

isthewashingdryyet · 30/07/2023 08:19

Check iron, and vitamin D and B12 and folate.
not normal at all

WunWun · 30/07/2023 08:20

I felt much worse than this after my C-section. It lasted about a couple of months.

Did you have a C-section? If not I'd probably go to the Dr.

Peony654 · 30/07/2023 08:20

That’s not normal, and women often think it is and shouldn’t! Definitely see GP for blood tests to check iron etc.

TwilightSkies · 30/07/2023 08:20

Why are you always rushing around?

BelindaBears · 30/07/2023 08:20

Doesn’t sound normal to me, if anything I got fitter and healthier towards the end of maternity leave because I walked everywhere with DD and had the time to prepare healthy meals etc.
Are you still up a lot during the night?

Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:20

@DoesItHaveKosovo @Londonnight @SGsling @whoami24601

thanks, I have had iron levels checked and they were a bit low (ferritin was 50) so I am taking iron tablets. All other bloods were fine and have had them checked twice in the last 3 months!

OP posts:
timegoingtooquickly · 30/07/2023 08:21

No not normal at all! I was the fittest I had ever been after having my first and before getting pregnant with my second. Was waking the dog whilst pushing a pram for miles a day! Get checked out

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 30/07/2023 08:21

When my dd was 2 I felt like this and I had really low iron and vitamin d

Croissantsandpistachio · 30/07/2023 08:21

I felt a bit like this, and had been doing triathlons before the baby was born. She was a terrible sleeper but it also turned out I had very low ferritin and Vitamin D. So worth getting those checked.

WunWun · 30/07/2023 08:21

What the hell is wrong with your DH though saying that?

porridgecake · 30/07/2023 08:21

isthewashingdryyet · 30/07/2023 08:19

Check iron, and vitamin D and B12 and folate.
not normal at all

And thyroid function.

Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:22

Thanks I have had all my bloods done. They all came back fine other than ferritin which has gone up from 6 to 55 and I’m still on the tablets. I was told 55 was now in a decent range?!

OP posts:
cinnamonfrenchtoast · 30/07/2023 08:23

How long have you been taking the iron tablets?

Has the doctor also checked you for diabetes and thyroid issues? Have you tried taking a good quality multivitamin?

AnotherVice · 30/07/2023 08:23

Blood pressure?

enidblythe · 30/07/2023 08:23

Also have your thyroid checked
As others have suggested maybe have iron etc checked.

Worth starting some regular gentle exercises - yoga - Pilates etc

Babies are demanding and life is full on maybe also have a look ar simple things like are you drinking enough water, are you eating regularly and a balanced diet throughout the day

Have you considered post partuk
Depression ? It s very common too and something not enough of us get help for.

Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:24

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 30/07/2023 08:23

How long have you been taking the iron tablets?

Has the doctor also checked you for diabetes and thyroid issues? Have you tried taking a good quality multivitamin?

@cinnamonfrenchtoast gone from ferritin 6 in feb to 55 last week. Also been taking multivitamin since Jan.

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:24

AnotherVice · 30/07/2023 08:23

Blood pressure?

@AnotherVice told it was low but normal?!

OP posts:
Mutabiliss · 30/07/2023 08:25

The physical side of childcare does take it out of you, BUT... thyroid function is often affected after having a baby, and GPs will say borderline test results are fine when actually they're really affecting you.

I would push for a thyroid test and then Google your results, don't let the GP tell you all is fine without checking. Two of my friends have had this, both now feeling much better on medication.

Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:25

enidblythe · 30/07/2023 08:23

Also have your thyroid checked
As others have suggested maybe have iron etc checked.

Worth starting some regular gentle exercises - yoga - Pilates etc

Babies are demanding and life is full on maybe also have a look ar simple things like are you drinking enough water, are you eating regularly and a balanced diet throughout the day

Have you considered post partuk
Depression ? It s very common too and something not enough of us get help for.

@enidblythe water could that be it? I did realise last week that I was drinking half a mug a day then a couple of coffees.

OP posts:
Original poster
brokenmuma · 30/07/2023 08:26

Mutabiliss · 30/07/2023 08:25

The physical side of childcare does take it out of you, BUT... thyroid function is often affected after having a baby, and GPs will say borderline test results are fine when actually they're really affecting you.

I would push for a thyroid test and then Google your results, don't let the GP tell you all is fine without checking. Two of my friends have had this, both now feeling much better on medication.

@Mutabiliss thanks, think this was checked but I will make sure!!

OP posts:
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