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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want 19 yo DD to get a half leg sleeve tattoo?

413 replies

BlueEmerald73 · 29/07/2023 13:01

DD is booked in to have like a half leg sleeve, I have no idea what it's called but it goes from her ankle to right up top but just doesn't wrap all the way around the leg. She is travelling quite far for it which is the part I do actually respect as she has chosen the artist considerably but I do think it's a bit of a permanent, big decision at just 19. It's consisting of a few things as well, such as a reference to her favourite childhood interest, etc. basically just a bunch of things like that going up her leg. There's also my birth flower in there, which is sweet but I would rather she wasn't getting a tattoo, especially if it has a bit of a reference to me.

I realise it isn't my decision and I would never try and stop her, but AIBU to be a bit sad about it? She's still a teenager.

OP posts:
234vhh · 02/08/2023 14:28

Maray1967 · 29/07/2023 14:00

I managed to make my DS at 18 think twice. Tattoo = no parental contribution from me for university. I’ve posted this before and some people on here call this controlling. But guess what - he’s now glad he didn’t do it, so I have no regrets whatsoever. There was nothing stopping him getting it done once he’d finished uni. I just used the financial leverage I had to delay it.

Master stroke!

Catchasingmewithspiders · 02/08/2023 14:42

234vhh · 02/08/2023 14:28

Master stroke!

Its not really a massive success story to bring a man up to believe if he controls the money he controls what other people do to their bodies

I mean you only need to go on a few relationships threads to see where that can lead

Teaching men (and women) that bodily autonomy cannot be bought seems a bit more important than stopping them from getting a tattoo personally

234vhh · 02/08/2023 14:53

Catchasingmewithspiders · 02/08/2023 14:42

Its not really a massive success story to bring a man up to believe if he controls the money he controls what other people do to their bodies

I mean you only need to go on a few relationships threads to see where that can lead

Teaching men (and women) that bodily autonomy cannot be bought seems a bit more important than stopping them from getting a tattoo personally

This is also true!

RedPony1 · 02/08/2023 15:48

Catchasingmewithspiders · 02/08/2023 14:42

Its not really a massive success story to bring a man up to believe if he controls the money he controls what other people do to their bodies

I mean you only need to go on a few relationships threads to see where that can lead

Teaching men (and women) that bodily autonomy cannot be bought seems a bit more important than stopping them from getting a tattoo personally

This. 100 times over. How awful to control someone's body with money! Especially someone you love.

I LOVE tattoo's on people, i think they shine through, bring out a personality. My OH has quite a few. My first one is currently being designed, a memorial piece.

megletthesecond · 02/08/2023 17:09

I wish my parents had paid me to not get a tattoo. I wouldn't be regretting it every day of my life and hating how I look.

Tatslookawful · 02/08/2023 17:16

megletthesecond · 02/08/2023 17:09

I wish my parents had paid me to not get a tattoo. I wouldn't be regretting it every day of my life and hating how I look.

Can you get it removed? How much is removal, more than the original tattoo? & how effective?

TrickyD · 02/08/2023 17:37

I LOVE tattoo's on people, i think they shine through, bring out a personality. My OH has quite a few. My first one is currently being designed, a memorial piece.

Better make sure you get someone else to check any spelling; you wouldn’t want permanent misplaced apostrophes, would you?

Gerrataere · 02/08/2023 18:16

TrickyD · 02/08/2023 17:37

I LOVE tattoo's on people, i think they shine through, bring out a personality. My OH has quite a few. My first one is currently being designed, a memorial piece.

Better make sure you get someone else to check any spelling; you wouldn’t want permanent misplaced apostrophes, would you?

Don’t be a dick 🙄

Beezknees · 02/08/2023 20:19

Tatslookawful · 02/08/2023 17:16

Can you get it removed? How much is removal, more than the original tattoo? & how effective?

It really varies, everyone charges different prices and there are different methods, some use lasers and some don't. It also depends on the tattoo. I've had laser removal, it cost £40 a session. The older the tattoo the harder it is to remove as a general rule of thumb, and black ink is easier to remove than coloured ink. Some only take a couple of sessions, others take 10+, some can be removed entirely and others can be faded a lot but not completely removed.

Maray1967 · 02/08/2023 21:30

Catchasingmewithspiders · 02/08/2023 14:42

Its not really a massive success story to bring a man up to believe if he controls the money he controls what other people do to their bodies

I mean you only need to go on a few relationships threads to see where that can lead

Teaching men (and women) that bodily autonomy cannot be bought seems a bit more important than stopping them from getting a tattoo personally

I understand that point but what any parent needs to consider is whether their 18 year old is properly exercising bodily autonomy or doing something that they might later regret under peer pressure.

My DS was talking about it in the context of a holiday abroad and that one of the other lads going was saying that they should all get tattoos done.

He is now 23 and there is nothing stopping him getting a tattoo. He has no intention of getting one. One of the mates who did get one is saving up to get his removed.

Tattooat16 · 05/08/2023 01:42

I got my first tattoo at 16. I didn't plan it. I only got it because I had the opportunity to get 1 for free. I went in and picked 1 that I liked. I got my second at 18 to commemorate by stillborn daughter. Again I had this done for free. I wouldn't have had any if I had to pay as I couldn't have afforded them even though they are only small and wouldn't have cost much. I don't regret either of them and never will. I didn't pick a design because it was in fashion or because I thought other people would like it. I liked it and even though it has faded now that I am 40, I still like it. It reminds my of the only period of my life, that only lasted a few months, where I was happy and care free, didn't have parents controlling me any more and didn't have any responsibility to anybody.
I don't care if anybody else likes my tattoos or not. I don't bother with makeup, nails or anything. My tattoos remind me of who I was at that age and how far I have come since then. I have never had anymore because I have better things to spend my money on.

DrManhattan · 05/08/2023 14:39

They look rough af. Honestly seen people who's arms and necks looked like my desk at school.

Catchasingmewithspiders · 05/08/2023 20:27

Tattooat16 · 05/08/2023 01:42

I got my first tattoo at 16. I didn't plan it. I only got it because I had the opportunity to get 1 for free. I went in and picked 1 that I liked. I got my second at 18 to commemorate by stillborn daughter. Again I had this done for free. I wouldn't have had any if I had to pay as I couldn't have afforded them even though they are only small and wouldn't have cost much. I don't regret either of them and never will. I didn't pick a design because it was in fashion or because I thought other people would like it. I liked it and even though it has faded now that I am 40, I still like it. It reminds my of the only period of my life, that only lasted a few months, where I was happy and care free, didn't have parents controlling me any more and didn't have any responsibility to anybody.
I don't care if anybody else likes my tattoos or not. I don't bother with makeup, nails or anything. My tattoos remind me of who I was at that age and how far I have come since then. I have never had anymore because I have better things to spend my money on.

I get that, my first tattoo I got when I was 20 and I finally realised that my abusive parents couldn't control my actions any more and I was free to do what I liked. I had left home several years earlier but it took me awhile to fully understand freedom

I've never regretted it once, and I still like the design. I don't care if people think it makes me look rough af or common or chavvy. They sound like the same sort of people who looked away when my mum was abusing me because they were middle class and abuse doesn't happen in their community. If they saw it happening it would make where they were living no better than the council estates they complained about. I have no time for people more concerned with how things look than who people are.

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