to not want 19 yo DD to get a half leg sleeve tattoo?

[BlueEmerald73]

DD is booked in to have like a half leg sleeve, I have no idea what it's called but it goes from her ankle to right up top but just doesn't wrap all the way around the leg. She is travelling quite far for it which is the part I do actually respect as she has chosen the artist considerably but I do think it's a bit of a permanent, big decision at just 19. It's consisting of a few things as well, such as a reference to her favourite childhood interest, etc. basically just a bunch of things like that going up her leg. There's also my birth flower in there, which is sweet but I would rather she wasn't getting a tattoo, especially if it has a bit of a reference to me.

I realise it isn't my decision and I would never try and stop her, but AIBU to be a bit sad about it? She's still a teenager.

As a tattoo artist myself, it’s not that uncommon these days for people to start getting tattooed as soon as they hit 18, it does sound like she has put a lot of thought into it with travelling etc. which definitely is more than a lot of people do these days far older than she is. You’re not being unreasonable to be sad, but I’d try to see it as a positive that she’s not just jumped into something without research or thought ☺️

I'm the same as you but it's their body. So long as they do have an appreciation of the longevity. At least it doesn't sound like.its random images - they are not my cup.of tea at all!

My son was going to get one because his gf wanted him too. After 7 years she just left and ghosted him. He's pleased he never did. So, so long as she is doing it for her not for anyone else, it's her choice.

Yes you're unreasonble.

But I would feel the same (and be unreasonable)

I’m a big fan of tattoos, so it’s not something that would bother me, but I can see why you’d be upset. Your DD is perfect as she is so why would she mark her skin?

I think I’d try to concentrate on the fact that legs are easily covered and she’s been really careful about who she’s trusting to do it, rather than making a choice based on price and location. She sounds like she’s a sensible girl.

YANBU about how you feel but you can’t stop her. I am saying this as someone who has spent ££££ lasering tattoos off I had done with 18 and 20. And it’s very very common, the studio has more people lasering them off again than new tattoo appointments.

My mum - who is lovely but super square by her own admission and would never have a tattoo in a million years - was fab when I wanted my first tattoo at just turned 18. She even gave me a lift there and back. She's not an active fan of them but she's never been anti and has just found it an interesting part of being a parent that her kids want different things to her. Also interestingly, the fact that I have tattoos seems to have put my kids off ever having them.

All of which to say, you're not wrong to feel sad, you can't help how you feel, but try not to attach too much importance to it. It's great that she's done her research and going to a good artist. It sounds positive and will make her happy, and isn't a big deal really. Best to be like my mum if you can and find it part of the journey we're all on.

My son is getting some sort of leg thing for his birthday - paid for by him I assume I’m not a fan I don’t mind tattoos but I don’t want him having loads tbh. He knows I am not keen.

However, my son is (or will be) 22 so an adult with a job etc and it’s his body so his choice and I’ll say it’s nice when it’s done but I don’t get a say in what he does really I can give an opinion but really it will make no difference to what he does. He’s a good lad, works hard and is a nice person so really it’s small fry to be worried about.

I'm not a tattoo fan at all, but YABU. I'm pretty sure that DD (18) will be getting some soon. I don't like how they look but it's not my body or my money so it's none of my business.

Yuck that is horrible. You have my sympathy OP

I have an adult (23) with tattoos, various ear, nose and lip piercings, stretched earlobes, the lot. It's not for me - I don't even have pierced ears - but it's not my body, not my business .🤷‍♀️

*adult DC, I mean.

I wouldn’t want it either but it’s her choice. I’d be happy it’s hideable too.

I feel the same as you OP but obviously it's her body and her choice.

I've just returned from a UK holiday and I don't think I saw many women or men who weren't very heavily tattooed.

I just think it looks awful but that's my problem, not theirs.

I think they look irredeemably ugly, but you can't stop her. Unfortunately.

It sounds like they have put a lot of thought into what they are getting and where they’re getting it done which is great. It’s a huge decision and it is young to make that choice, but it’s their choice and hopefully they won’t regret it. Legs are usually covered up with the UK weather anyway!

I have several albeit smaller tattoos, which I still love 10-15 years later and don’t regret at all. There was one I wasn’t so keen on but it was easily covered up with a different design that I do love.

Legs are usually covered up with the UK weather anyway!
Doesn't that just say it all, though? If you have to weigh in the fact that something is easily (and usually) hidden, it sort of suggests it's not a great idea in the first place.

Hmmm so I have tattoos and my only comment would be that my tattoo parlour would never do this. It’s really clear that they won’t do certain tattoos for first timers. It’s their only negative reviews on google. Does she have any others?
I take it she’s going to have to do multiple trips and spend a bit of time in the chair?

YANBU to not want it, but YWBU to try to stop her!

You are being unreasonable, but equally you are entitled to your opinion.

I've never fallen out with my parents over mine, however my dad refused to talk to me for a while at 18 when I got my first one.

He finds them trashy, was very vocal about it. That's fine, that's his opinion, life would be dull if we all agreed. Over the years he's gotten used to them, he says he can appreciate the art and skill that they take. Equally he has always admired dhs and has actually been to an appointment with him because he was curious to the process.

All of mine are pretty easy to hide, and all of them mean something to me.

At the end of the day, you're allowed to feel anyway you want, and at her age she's allowed to modify her body as she sees fit.

It will look common and awful, why would anyone want to look like that, surely you just try and make the best of yourself. I dont blame you for not wanting her to have it, but more to the point why does she want to look like that.

You haven't said why you don't want her to have it, or why it makes you feel sad other than 'she is still a teenager' - do you have any actual reason to feel this way?

This.

I think tattoos are repulsive (although I appreciate the artistry) but it’s her choice and she’s an adult.

Presumably because she doesn't make judgements about people looking 'common' based in them being different to her?

If only they weren't permanent. What you like at 19 may horrify you at 40 or older.