to not want 19 yo DD to get a half leg sleeve tattoo?

[BlueEmerald73]

DD is booked in to have like a half leg sleeve, I have no idea what it's called but it goes from her ankle to right up top but just doesn't wrap all the way around the leg. She is travelling quite far for it which is the part I do actually respect as she has chosen the artist considerably but I do think it's a bit of a permanent, big decision at just 19. It's consisting of a few things as well, such as a reference to her favourite childhood interest, etc. basically just a bunch of things like that going up her leg. There's also my birth flower in there, which is sweet but I would rather she wasn't getting a tattoo, especially if it has a bit of a reference to me.

I realise it isn't my decision and I would never try and stop her, but AIBU to be a bit sad about it? She's still a teenager.

Uh oh the creepy "lovely skin" posters are out! Reminds me of The Silence of the Lambs when that line is trotted out. 😂

YABU but taking the right approach in letting an adult make their own decisions. In general, I think the old-fashioned "all tattoos are ugly/distasteful" attitude isn't all that prevalent. You do see a lot of judgment and pearl-clutching over it on MN, but I think people are less invested in other people's bodies in that sense IRL.

I'm afraid I did exactly the same. Told my kids they would be supporting themselves financially if they went ahead (not that either of them were interested).
People can call it controlling of me (and DH, who agreed) if they like. Yes, it was their body, their choice. OK, but it was my money, my choice too.
So they made their choices (not to have them) accordingly.

I got my first at 18, I have 9 in total so not many but I don’t regret any of them, they each have meaning to me and if I could afford to I’d definitely add to my little collection.
It sounds like she has been sensible in regards to choosing a tattooist.
You can’t help how you feel though, tattoos aren’t for everyone, my mother isn’t a fan but she didn’t ever stop me. I’ve never understood all the comments around how permanent they are though as that’s the whole point of them.

@Gerrataere I really hope you celebrate your 50th with one x

@Siameasy why do you think people get them to be 'interesting'? You can't even see my two back pieces - they are for me not anyone else

One of my children got one at 18. It's small, meaningful and beautiful but I still don't like it and wish she hadn't got it - mainly because, as a doctor, I see a lot of terrible tattoos on wrinkly skin.
Interestingly none of her friends have any interest in getting tattooed and neither do my other children....

I must admit whenever I see someone who's made an effort to dress beautifully for a special occasion, I always think the tatts spoil it and wonder why they bothered going to so much effort/expense with the outfit.

It doesn't matter if it's a man in a nice suit with a short sleeved shirt, or a woman in a lovely dress/off the shoulder top etc

The tattoos always make me wonder why they bothered, as they really spoil the look for me.

I hate the word 'chavvy' but in my opinion, tattoos never make a person look classy or well groomed.

Surely you see even less of them than anyone else 🤪

But you can't see them either unless you take a photo, so how are they for 'you'?

Surely they're to show off to others when your back is exposed?

They made a choice out of conceived control. If it was a domestic relationship where the man was earning and the woman a stay at home parent, and he said ‘if you do x,y,z then I won’t give you money for the food shop’ then people would be quite rightly outraged. You can not like something, you can say you will not be paying for that something, but saying you will cut a person off that’s financially relying on you because you vehemently disagree on a personal decision that will not harm their health or wellbeing is honestly awful behaviour. But that’s just an opinion of course.

I really don't like them at all and I was married to someone who did have a few but they're just not for me.

Today in town I saw a woman with one on the top of her arm and no way could you make out the design, it was just a huge mass of dark blue. It looked ugly rather than artistic.

Despite me not liking them, I have seen some very striking designs on a lot of people.

I don't think my wrinkly skin in years to come is going to look fantastic either way...

If I live long enough to have wrinkled skin then I’ll consider it a bonus. My wrinkly ink will remind me I lived my life as I pleased. Though I saw an article about an 80 year old woman having her first tattoo the other day and I think it looked fab. She may have had especially youthful arms though 🤷‍♀️.

Yes, it's just your opinion. Which a lot of people don't share 🤷🏻‍♀️

I KNOW they are there and they mean a lot to me - I have a large tree of life which is slowly being surrounded by images special to individuals in my family - it has a real meaning to me I don't need to see it every day -I am a 53 yr old single woman - unless I am in a swim suit (on the rare occasion I am abroad) no one is seeing them!

Absolutely this. Control at it's finest. Dreadful example to show your kids that monetary coercion is a way to get what you want. Mortified for you and your tactics and I feel sorry for your kids too. What kind of a life lesson is that?

I would feel the same; I think most tattoos are ugly.

I have to laugh at how anti tattoo mumsnet seems to be yet if you mention your kid has started smoking weird you would be met with a load of responses about how normal it is.

Give my kid a picture on their body to vet drugs every day of the week.

I would be concerned that she may regret it in years to come, as I know lots of people that regret tattoos they had done when younger. Some have paid for removal, some dress to cover them which is a pain. My friend wouldn’t wear the wedding dress she really wanted to because it would have meant the tattoo she had done at 19 being on show.

I’d share my concerns but ultimately there’s nothing you can do. Hopefully she’ll remain happy with her decision to have it done as I’m sure many people do.

*over drugs

Who normalises smoking? Especially for kids?

My parents did this, about a tattoo (and a motorbike!). I'm so, so thankful they did! I'd have got some awful lower back tribal monstrosity (sometimes referred to as a 'tramp stamp').

Oh I must disagree. I've told DD that i'll cut her off financially if she smokes.

It is purely a bargaining chip to make the youthful, and sometimes stupid mind think twice.

I was parented by 70's hippie types that weren't very hands on reflecting as an adult with kids heading towards adulthood.

I made some stupid decisions that needed an older and wiser voice to direct me better.

I often think I raised myself. But not to deflect, I feel it is wise to let teens and young adults understand that we won't pay for their flighty decisions.

They are free to take up smoking and inking once they are paying for themselves.

I'm almost 60 and am glad I haven't had to live forever with any of the decisions I made at 19.

At 19 I had no idea how my life would pan out , what choices I would come to make or what career I would want to follow. At that age I had no concept of how long forever is and how it would feel to have to live with something forever.

@HarrietJet

Who normalises smoking? Especially for kids?

Sorry juts noticed th typo I meant smoking WEED.

Also in the context of the thread we are referring to out grown up DC. Sorry I probeblt should have typed that out instead of saying kid I just assumed everyone would know I meant of the same age as the ones being discussed about tattoos

A friend of mine found the perfect way to cover the tattoos she had done as a teen. She converted to Islam and now dresses in conservative/traditional clothes. Always a possibility for all your daughters making bad decisions with their body art now and a lot cheaper than laser treatments 🙂. Plus they’ll definitely not have anymore tattoos.