Worried about son's height

[vitDsunshine]

12.5 DS is 143cm. Always been small. His dad is 5 ft 8, I'm 5ft 2. His dad was also v small until about 15, then shot up (well, relatively!) so quite likely, DS's trajectory is similar.

I'm just worried. What if he's tiny? Far shorter than he's dad? He's already very conscious of it and as his friends start to go through puberty, I've no doubt his self-consciousness will increase. Obviously I tell him he's amazing etc, and that we all have to love and be kind to the bodies we are given...

But I've seen some awful posts on mumsnet about women's feelings about short men - there's prejudice.

I guess I worry it will affect his happiness in life.

Please, no nasty judgments. I'm just expressing fears I can't share IRL.

There is no point worrying about it at all since there’s nothing you can do unless it’s to the extreme that he needs hormone help. As other posters said plenty of shorter men are successful.
having said that to suggest it is in no way an issue is also a little naive.
many studies have suggested that overall taller men are more successful.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3088322/amp/Taller-people-RICHER-Scientists-biggest-leap-income-takes-place-5-4-5-6-6-no-effect.html

and it’s true that many women would be reluctant to date a shorter man.

and rubbish to suggest that Hollywood actors are ‘mostly short’ - Tom Cruise is short (and is famous for being so) and some of the older proper actors are such as al Pacino but the new crop of successful actors are all over 6 foot for example all the marvel stars.

I was reading that red meat has growth hormones in it, which has helped the population grow.

Could you look at his diet, to support him growing, if you don't already?

Please don't worry about your son.
He is a tiny bit shorter than my 50th centile 12-and a bit year old. So, not unusually short at all - and far off growth hormones etc.
Yes, he looks dinky compared to some of his friends - but they are giant, adult sized, pre teens.
His older brother was dinky (i used to get asked if they were twins with a 2 year age difference). At 15, he's now nearly DHs height, and only a tiny bit shorter than me. Is he likely to make his grandfather's 6'+height? Nope. But he doesn't look out of place in his peer group, needs age appropriate trousers (for legs, but not waist)

His height is completely within the normal range at that age, and given both his parents are below average height then all is normal!

I think the ages of 12-14 can be hard on boys who are growing later than others. My son grew early and was probably 5'8 or 9 when he turned 12, and very nearly 6' turning 13. Having been used to being the tallest he then had many friends sail past him over the following couple of years.

If you have a smaller child, as long as puberty doesn't seem advanced, you can reassure them that the longer they have to grow, slowly, before they have their final puberty growth spurt, the taller they are likely to end up. But that's only something to say if they themselves are bringing up the subject of their height.

My xDH was 5ft 6 and me 5ft 3. My DS didn't start really growing until 17. He's now 5ft 8. I'm from a family of short people and my DH is only 5ft 5, so suits me perfectly. I actually don't like tall men. Who wants to be standing on tip toes for a kiss 💋

I have a friend who is 5ft6 and absolutely gorgeous. I would jump at the chance to get physical (not gonna happen because he’s way out of my league for various reasons). Height is not a deal breaker if you’re good looking and confident.

I think if it weeds out the nonsense women who are choosing partners on height (WTF!) it’s a good thing. In real life only arseholes care about height like that.
I’ve been married to my shorter husband for nearly 30 years and I can assure you he was and is extremely “well thought of” as husband material.

I have similar worries with my son (he's only 5!). I'm about 5'1 and my DH is about 5'7 or 5'8. Already our son is noticeably smaller than lots of his peers and I'm just hoping that he will grow to be at least as tall as his dad.

I totally agree with teaching body confidence and having hobbies that don't focus on height. DS currently enjoys gymnastics.

It doesn't help though that my sibling is over 6', their partner is 6' and their 13 year old child is nearly 6'. I hate the family commenting on it every single time we go to visit. I'll have to ask them to stop because I don't want it made into a big thing in my son's mind.

I'd ask GP to be referred to consultant. I wouldn't be fobbed off. And I'd do it now, because as silver arch says if you leave it too late into puberty nothing can be done. Lots of people chose not to do anything, because it's slightly contentious : do you act or not. But at least you'd have the choice, if you leave it you might not even have that choice.

Give us a clue about the band???

would be outing! And they are pretty obscure now, though if you were into the 80s indie/C86 scene you'd have heard of them at the time.

Wiki actually tells me it was a no.4 and not a no.2 hit. Maybe it was FIL's height that kept them off the top spot!

Why is being short considered a problem? I have three children - all three were either the smallest in the class or almost so. My daughter, who is the youngest, was the smallest in the school for three years. Her first school shoes were an infant size 6 and she started high school in size 13 1/2. She is in her twenties now and is a petite size 6/8 5’1 with size 2 shoes. Small but not unusually so. Her brothers are around 5’5 and 5’7: both wear size 7 shoes. Again, absolutely fine. My middle son, who is the tallest, asked me during his adolescent growth spurt what his chances were of reaching six feet. I looked him in the eye and said “absolutely none.”

My DS is a year older and a couple of centimetres taller. Me & his dad are both 5'8. He has a very tough time at school because of it so I understand it's worrying. He was referred to endocrinologist by GP for some tests and so far everything seems normal except for delayed puberty. They have said he can have testosterone now to kick start things (he's decided he doesn't want it yet) and are seeing him every 6 months to check things are progressing.

Perhaps see GP to begin process of ruling out medical problems? In theory I agree with everyone saying don't worry there's nothing wrong with being a short man - but it does make their school life a lot harder than people expect. It's the relentless comments, everyday that get him down. Being pushed around and not being able to do much about it (he's more than a foot shorter than many in his year). Patronising or surprised comments from people (adult and children) who meet him and hear his age. It's tough.

DS1 has always been fairly short, he’s almost 14 now. and hasn’t gone through puberty yet.

Something weird happened there, I wrote a long post and it posted the two sentences I originally wrote before editing it!
Proper version:
DS1 has always been fairly short, he’s almost 14 now. And he’s one of the youngest in his year so all his friends are now post-pubescent and about a foot taller than him. He hasn’t shown any signs of puberty yet. Fortunately he’s confident and cheery, and his mates are a nice bunch of lads, so we’re just treating it as a waiting game, trying not to be unnerved that he looks so different from his friends right now.

@vitDsunshine please do not rush to see a consultant without researching the options that will be available.

As far as I understand, excepting any actual medical issue, “growth hormones” only accelerate the increase in height, but do not increase (sometimes even causing a reduction) the final height.
If this is correct then consider whether medicalising the situation will benefit or harm your child’s self esteem and identity around their height, I guess each child might be different here.

Yes, I'm aware of the issues with hormonal treatment - I def won't be rushing. I think that if by 13.5 we haven't seen any growth, I'd go to a consultant to just check everything is ok. My husband is completely opposed to hormone treatment unless necessary - I agree.

I am very grateful for al the players who are so positive - I'm completely aware there are far worse things. And I know he has a huge, charismatic personality which will define him far more than his height. Plus, I've been out with enough tall dickheads to know height is not everything.

But as one poster said, school life is tough when the differences are obvious. I just don't want him to be relentlessly mocked - he already gets loads of comments. Whilst he's pretty resilient, I don't want it to become internalised.

*All the posters not players!

I really emphasise with this

My dad was 5'7" and my mum is 5'1", so both small. Somehow my brother is 6ft, I am 5'7" and my sister was 5'6". I have no idea where we all got our height. There were plenty of jokes about the milkman etc! When I think about it, though, all my mum's siblings are tall, so I guess we must have inherited our height from our grandparents and Mum must have inherited her shortness from perhaps one of her grandparents.

You're short, your man is slightly below average. Your son might end up being short, but there's nothing you can do to prevent it - so why worry? If he is, so what?

My husband is 5ft 9, I'm 5ft 1. Sons are 5ft 10 and 6ft 2

My husband is 5ft 7. He hasn't had any problems in life as he is confident and charismatic. I'm sure men have it easier if they are taller but besides some jokes about being short over and over he's had a good life.

I did have a preference for dating tall men. But when I met him he was my soul mate. Personality is so much- you take someone like Richard Hammond he is hot regardless!

I'm prepared to help my son through it if he is also small, and similarly help my daughter if she inherits my barely there boobs.

I am trying to get them both stage lessons to help with their confidence generally as I think that will carry a kid through anything.

There are a lot of short just finished yr7 boys. I helped out at 2ndry school disco a few weeks ago & was quite struck by the many shorties.

My DS is short for his age. He’s younger than your DS, but is comforted by the fact Mark Owen, Ant &Dec, Tom Cruise and many other very successful male celebrities are short and it certainly hasn’t held them back. I’m a big believer in personality is more important than anything else.