Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

I don't understand how or why this is even a question? It's preposterous behaviour on behalf of those hosting the sleepover!! 😱
I have never even heard of giving a child Melatonin and I'm sure here in the UK this must be something that is prescribed only if necessary?!
If any of my children/grandchildren or great grandchildren had been given ANY sort of medication by anyone other than myself, husband or family (if asked to) then I would most definitely be on the phone to some official body for advice or just to inform because although it might have been Melatonin in this instance (obviously considered to be fairly benign in whatever country this has happened?) but who knows what else they may take it into their heads to dole out to other people's children without permission?! 🙄😡

Can you just say that you are still very 'British' about any kind of medication and try to avoid using it?

So you'd rather nothing is given at all/unless checked first?

This is so wrong, and a safe guarding issue and I would not let my child at this kids house again,

Why is this parent giving other children melatonin which has not been prescribed to them, also I would want to know what dosage was given...

This parent should be reported as they could of caused unnecessary harm to a child.

@Sleepydoor Melatonin is a drug not to be given unless prescribed by a paediatrician so this parent giving it out like candy sweets is totally in the wrong and needs investigating, as this is clearly a safeguarding issue, Melatonin is not to be used as a doping drug to settle kids to sleep unless officially prescribed by a paediatrician or Family GP

Read the thread, or at least the OP’s posts.

She is in the US where it is available without prescription.

@Quirky1987 in the US you don't beed a prescription, it's not even considered a drug , but a supplement and available in any supermarket on the vitamins/food supplements aisle.

Still incredibly wrong to do what they did and OP is very reasonable to kick off and out boundaries in place ,of course.

A calm conversation is needed…

’hey I was a little surprised and upset that you have my Billy melatonin. He’s never had it before and could’ve had a reaction to it…. Please don’t ever give him medication again without my consent!’

of course you didn’t say anything at the time, you were shocked, she’s your best friend and you needed time to process.

I wouldn’t let him stay again unless you had her fully on board that she was not to administer drugs without your consent.

in the U.K. this would be classed as abusive behaviour. What happens if there is a fire or other emergency and 6 boys are in a deep sleep?! What happens if he was allergic?? What happens if it sends him into a deep sleep and causes sudden infant death?? The fact he wet himself suggests he was unhealthily heavily sleeping. Poor kid.

If she says you’re overreacting when you talk to her. I’d politely point out that even if that is the case, administering medication of any kind requires consent… I’d say ‘ that might be the case, but please respect our wishes and don’t ever do it again!’

WTH

Since when was it "normal" to give a child melatonin??!!!! It definitely is not common! I would absolutely furious. Why aren't you pulling her on this?

That would be a friend no longer and I would be reporting her!! The hell is wrong with people!

Personally I'd be ringing the police.You don't share prescription medicine and certainly don't dose children without a Dr's consent.Surely this woman has broken the law, I would be querying my friendship with her and actually wondering if she is hiding more serious character defects. I would not be letting my child anywhere near this potentially dangerous woman.

I wish people would read the OP's updates.

She is living in the USA
Melatonin is not prescription medication over there. It can be bought OTC

Just click on "see all" on the OP's post.

Its not precipitation medication in the USA where the Op.is living 🙄

Regardless of where you are in the world. Any kind of drug needs parental consent. You cant just be given children doses of medication/drugs.

Just googled Melatonin and found it’s easily available in the UK OTC, as ‘gummies’ and Amazon sell it.

Don’t know why my previous post was deemed unsuitable. Let’s try again. Melatonin may be a prescription drug in the UK, but before we get smug, it’s actually available OTC sold as ‘gummies’ sleep aid. Not sure if they’re the same strength as on prescription, but I question making even a weaker strength available OTC if it’s actually a prescription drug.

How have you not going to the police or questioned this?! I’d be really concerned for what happened and no, I’d never let my child return at night or otherwise. I don’t know how you didn’t say something there and then it’s horrifying.

Not a police matter - the OP is in the USA where melatonin is not classed as a drug, but a food supplement. Not saying it’s right- far from it, but as in my post above, melatonin is also sold OTC in the UK as ‘gummies’.

Bit of an overreaction there it's an OTC children's gummy.

It is not legal for someone to give medication to a child without informing their parent or legal guardian. I would 1st restrain myself from putting hands on them and then I would contact the police.

You how a duty to contact the authorities. Imagine if they did this to a child with an allergy? What else are they giving kids? Fking deranged.

Have you read the OP's posts?

In the UK it is not sold OTC. The so called melatonin supplements on Amazon UK actually contain Griffonia seed extract which is a food source high in natural melatonin.

regardless it being over the counter in some places still doesn't give some stranger the rights to give it to kids who are not their own... Do you give over the counter meds to kids stronger than their dosage just cause its over the counter ?

Whenever a lot of people do something, things can go wrong. And indeed, there have been many reports of melatonin overdoses in children. While overdoses can lead to excessive sleepiness, headaches, nausea, or agitation, luckily they aren't dangerous most of the time. That doesn't mean that over-the-counter melatonin is completely safe, however. In fact, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) recently issued a health advisory with warnings about its use.
Over-the-counter melatonin is classified as a dietary supplement. This means it's not regulated by the FDA the way over-the-counter medicines like ibuprofen, acetaminophen, or diphenhydramine are regulated. There is no oversight on what companies put in the melatonin that parents buy.
And what they put in it is exactly the issue. The AASM warns that the amount of actual melatonin in tablets or liquid can vary, from less than what the label says to much more. The greatest variation is found in the chew-able tablets, which are unfortunately the ones children are most likely to take. It's also hard — impossible, even — to know what else might be in the supplement. The AASM reports that some melatonin products also contain serotonin, a hormone and neurotransmitter that requires a prescription.

Melatonin is actually made in the pineal gland and we all make it. So you saying it isn’t made for everyone is untrue.

it’s in lots of our tissues really but it’s a very naturally produced hormone.

Even if it is classed as a food supplement in the US I would NEVER dream of giving vitamins or other supplements to a visiting child.