Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Why? Are you saying as a parent, a doctor, a legal representative he has no right to a comment? Sometimes mumsnet seems to have too many members whose main objective is to argue over anything.

They seem to think men aren’t allowed an opinion on things even if their whole career literally means they know all about this subject matter.
next time my kid breaks an arm or leg I’ll be sure to get a random women’s opinion instead of taking him to our GP who happens to be a man. 🤦‍♀️

@Solonge are you in the US and was your husband's training in the US?

Really? Can you start an argument in an empty room? My comment needed no brickbats. Its not a comment that provides anything other than factual information, your comment is just unnecessary and unpleasant.

How dare you have a husband with specific knowledge in this area! And to share it!! 🤣

I am American. Absolutely never heard of anyone giving another person’s kids melatonin, or anything to put them all to sleep. Awful!

Hi I’m looking for some help and advice. My daughter is 11 years old has ADHD and severe anxiety. I’m a single parent to her and her younger sister. The problem I’m facing is my 11 year old daughter is over weight for her age she struggles with over eating and craving sugar and rubbish I’ve tried everything and at my wits end as to how to help her control what she’s eating I’m trying to let her be a kid an have sweets now and again but also trying to give her a balanced diet she’s a fussy eater and doesn’t like most things that are good for you ie veg she will eat some salad and fruit.
i u detest and that with adhd you can over eat an it’s likely they will crave the sugar but it’s really starting to worry me now as she sneaks money out when playing out with friends and they all go to the shop whilst playing out so regardless of me not giving her money her friends buy sweets etc from the shop anyway. I need some advice from other mums as I don’t want her to end up with an eating disorder with me going on at her so I’ve been really trying to do it in the right way so that she doesn’t see im making it an issue I’ve tried talking to her cause not only is it not good for her im also type 1 diabetic so I’ve tried using that angle to. Help!!

Best to start a separate thread Lmj42

It’s so reassuring to read this. Some of these comments make me think there are millions and millions of parents in America handing out melatonin left right and centre to kids like it’s an apple!

Wow, I'm so shocked. Our child was given melatonin in hospital for sedation during a brain scan, our child was "out" and I mean out. Obviously there are different doses to be given, we had to reposition child during and eventually try to wake child which took over an hour. I'd be very upset and concerned, what if your child had a reaction, what if other children had a reaction and felt groggy after let alone the bed wetting accident. This is so very wrong, personally I'd call them up and ask for an apology failing that I'd actually call the police, there is no concent from YOU the parent to give a minor. Just think about it even at school you have to give concent for calpol, I'm guessing this is not the first time parent has done this. This is a worry.

100%
would notify police / school / other parents / local GP practice.
MASSIVE safeguarding red flags.
yet people on this thread are all “calm down”. “It’s normal in the US.”
many totally missing the point.

That's bonkers. My kids are prescribed melatonin because they both have sleep disorders (one has ASD, the other has a chromosomal issue) and we had to really think long and hard about agreeing to do it. Melatonin can be bought over the counter in the USA like vitamins but here in the UK it's restricted because of rare effects it can have on kids like delayed puberty.
I would go completely batshit if another parent gave my kids ANYTHING without my consent.
You're not winding us up are you? lol

But it happened in the US so.its a comp!etley different jurisdiction ,there are lots of things that happen in the US that wouldn't happen in the UK and vice versa

We know this is the US. You don’t need to keep highlighting that fact.
it is still a safeguarding issue 100% to administer anything pharmaceutical without parental consent.
what aren’t you understanding??

Had never heard of melatonin being used for sedation (the times my DD had to be sedated as a child they used the normal drugs), looked it up and its a 10mg dose which is massive! (for insomnia my DD was prescribed 0.5mg, huge difference in dosage) No wonder it was difficult to wake your child!

Interestingly the source I'm looking at that says about it, refers to it as a non-pharmacological approach. And happily says that it is safe.

(but knowing how I feel waking up after 1 or 2mg of it, I would hate to wake up so soon after a 10mg dose, would be so horribly groggy)

She doses your kid with prescription drugs to make him sleep (and all the other kids) without anyones consent and you dont want to say anything!?! You need to make sure the other parents are aware and you absolutely have to tell her this is absolutely unexceptable (im pretty sure it must also be illegal as a school cant even give a dose of calpol, so im pretty sure you cant go giving prescription drugs to kids without consent).

I would be having an absolute hissy fit at this completely irresponsible person. He was in such a deep sleep he had an accident... That means he also could have choked on reflux, vomit... She could have had a huge issue on her hands with a bunch of drugged up kids laying around... My kid would definitely not be going there again for a sleep over and i would have serious doubts about her competency to have them for playdates if she thinks that sort of behaviour is ok.

Your husband is definitely right on this one and maybe if you think being pregnant is possibly making you want to avoid the situation - get him to deal with it. Maybe a Dad telling her she is way out of line will make her wake up.

Head bang ,wall this happened in the USA where melatonin is NOT a prescription drug ,we can argue all.day long about on here and some of us have but at least read the,Op,s posts

you can keep stating this is in America until you are blue in the face. We . Get . It. !!
STILL a safeguarding issue !

Is it ?
How would American authorities. deal.with it ,I don't know because im.not American
In any case I was pointing out to.the pp that it wasn't a prescribed medication in America ,where it happened .that was the relevance.

It is still a pharmaceutical product and would require parental consent in the even that it be administered to a 6 year old.

Make sure to your son about not taking medication type stuff without his own parents’ permission.

I would never, ever let my children round there again. So many what-if’s.

I’d be livid and have it out with her immediately, never sending my child anywhere near her again. I’d not give paracetamol or any meds without consent. My so.n is prescribed melatonin by his paediatrician but I still consider if and when to give to him on a day by day basis

That’s extraordinary. People buy it to dope their kids to sleep? Similar used to happen in the UK back in the nineteenth century. Gin was used then, but the practice became unpopular for some reason. Maybe too many children died… whether it’s legal or not or regardless of the country you’re in, you are being very reasonable to state how unhappy you are and that your child will not be visiting again. Obviously, the child needs to be kept unaware of these discussions.