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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child given melatonin without our consent

996 replies

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 28/07/2023 22:44

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

OP posts:
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Lilywc · 30/07/2023 20:50

I would be really pissed off if my child was given a medicine I had Not approved of! How dare they ! I would seriously have stern words with them that’s just disgraceful! https://www.medicinesforchildren.org.uk/medicines/melatonin-for-sleep-disorders/

Melatonin for sleep disorders – Medicines For Children

https://www.medicinesforchildren.org.uk/medicines/melatonin-for-sleep-disorders/

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:50

x2boys · 30/07/2023 20:45

Take it further to whom though?

Well I’m in the uk so maybe it’s different, seeing as - to me it’s a drug!! But the thing is - I’d still see it as a drug in the US. Because that’s what it is ! Whatever you’ve been told by the powers that be. Vodka is also readily available for me to buy. I am not giving it to a 6 year old in my own home at a sleepover.

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 20:51

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:40

@SummerPeach mhmm, that prosecution references paediatric strength melatonin. Do you know what a paediatrician is? They are a doctor. In the US, strong dose sizes still have to be prescribed by a doctor. The nursery worker was prosecuted for giving out prescription medication - under US local laws about what is prescription strength.

Still not the same thing. I'm not defending the actions of the sleepover hosts in any way. You're just not saying anything the OP can actually use in her specific circumstances I'm afraid.

Googling around further (reluctant to post links because they are blocking my replies), the gummies that worker gave to the children in her care were the same strength (0.5 milligrams) that we’re given to the OP’s child.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:52

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:50

UK native comes crashing to earth on first discovering that USA is highly pharmaceutical country with different drug legislation & cultural norms from UK.....I'll keep an eye out for the headline in tomorrow's papers 🙄

Parent realises friends have significantly poorer judgement than they ever hoped or realised, so never sends child for 2nd sleepover with them. Happens every day.

Sorry you found out the hard way OP!

You are agreeing and disagreeing at the same time. It’s weird. You’re like “this is nothing new, everyone needs to stop freaking out”. But you’re also basically saying this shouldn’t have happened ???? So ???? Make up your mind ?

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 20:53

No idea why so many of my replies are being immediately blocked.

The daycare worker in the previous link was giving children melatonin of the same dosage that was given to the OP’s child.

ArabeIIaScott · 30/07/2023 20:54

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 28/07/2023 23:07

@Nowthenhere

I wish it were a joke. I'm starting to realize I way under reacted. All of the other kids at the sleepover regularly have melatonin so maybe she assumed our child did as well.

Seriously? This is shocking.

Keyworks · 30/07/2023 20:56

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SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:57

JT12 · 30/07/2023 20:39

I live in the US and don’t know anyone who would do this. I have heard of older teens taking it but didn’t even know it was safe for children unless it was prescribed. It makes no difference if it is in a gummy or a tablet form. The gummies are just designed for people who have difficulties swallowing tablets - not as kids candy! I would be absolutely furious and think it is dreadful. I would never dream of giving my children anything without research and doctors recommendations so how dare she do this. I would definitely say something to her and the other parents who had children at the sleepover- your poor child being put in a situation where he had embarrassed himself due to a parent’s reckless behaviour.

Thank you for a properly measured response. Couldn’t agree more. Poor children at that sleepover :( I’m so devastated reading the original post.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:58

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Wow sorry I replied to the wrong person :(
why you need to talk to me like that? :(
My internet is shaky right now so it keeps jumping to the wrong bit - sorry !

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:59

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And I’m new to Mumsnet - so wow - give me a break !!

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 21:03

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I did actually reply this to me&t so I don’t know what happened :(

Keyworks · 30/07/2023 21:03

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SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 21:06

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no worries - I get so confused on MN !!
glad I didn’t cause any offence. :)

Keyworks · 30/07/2023 21:08

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SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 21:08

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it Is a strange place……. 😅

Yfory · 30/07/2023 21:15

Anotherdayanothernamechanged "Unless it was cannabis/edible he wouldn't have gone to sleep in 10mins with melatonin."
Totally not true. My son - first few times he had melatonin he was asleep within ten minutes of taking it. First time he could barely stand up within a couple of minutes.

Wnikat · 30/07/2023 21:17

It’s not even legal to buy melatonin in this country!!

3luckystars · 30/07/2023 21:18

What country are you in?

KIMBOHO · 30/07/2023 21:18

My daughter is prescribed Melatonin and I am well aware of the drug after much research and experience with her. The ‘knocking out’ is a UK term of phase, implying that someone is in a deep sleep- which the boy undoubtedly was. He reportedly went to sleep within 10 mins of having it and wet the bed as he was in such a deep sleep.
However, my point was not the melatonin itself but more about the intentions of a person who has given sleeping aids to children of 6 at a sleepover. In my profession, we would have serious concerns about this.

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 21:21

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:40

@SummerPeach mhmm, that prosecution references paediatric strength melatonin. Do you know what a paediatrician is? They are a doctor. In the US, strong dose sizes still have to be prescribed by a doctor. The nursery worker was prosecuted for giving out prescription medication - under US local laws about what is prescription strength.

Still not the same thing. I'm not defending the actions of the sleepover hosts in any way. You're just not saying anything the OP can actually use in her specific circumstances I'm afraid.

‘Paediatric strength’ means a dose designed for children. Nothing to do with it being prescribed or not.

The strength of the melatonin given, in that case, was the same as was given to the OPs child.

You are recklessly making stuff up.

Keyworks · 30/07/2023 21:22

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KIMBOHO · 30/07/2023 21:25

Completely disagree, police would be extremely interested in adults giving 6 year olds sleeping medication/ supplements/ aids or whatever you want to call it. They may not actually be convicted but it will go on record, it will also be a stark warning to the adults which might prevent any further offences. Children are abused all the time because adults shrug things off and don’t want to make a fuss. I’m not familiar with the US law system however, I’m almost certain they will want to know about this happening in their community.

Lollipop25 · 30/07/2023 21:25

YABU by not confronting that parent, who in the hell gives someone else’s child any medication without their parents permission. Your husband is 100% correct, maybe get him to confront if you don’t want to. Totally out of order.

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 30/07/2023 21:26

I'm lost for words.

Hell would rain down on anyone that drugged my child. US or not.

What is happening in this world?

I'd want to know if anything nefarious happened whilst all the kids were drugged.

Fucking hell.

Oh it appears I wasn't lost for words after all.

Purplepeaches123 · 30/07/2023 21:26

Irritated!!!!n I’d be absolutely furious! I don’t even have the words to explain how furious I would be!

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