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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Child given melatonin without our consent

996 replies

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 28/07/2023 22:44

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

OP posts:
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14
SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:26

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:23

@SummerPeach @KIMBOHO @Keyworks please do RTFT!

She's in the US, the police, school & doctors won't do anything-everyone can buy it in the supermarket.

That doesn't mean it was right. It does mean the only person who can do anything about it is OP - in telling the hosts WHY it was inappropriate. And then not letting DS stay over in their care ever again.

Just because it’s over the counter in the US, it’s still illegal to prescribe medicine to a Child without the parents consent. Quite irrelevant how the medication was obtained.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:29

brentwoods · 30/07/2023 20:18

All this. It's very normal in the US. You can buy it in the grocery store.
A .5 mg child's gummy won't knock your kid out. Still, it's unusual to give a supplement to someone else's child. I wouldn't be concerned that he took it, but I would have a word with mum about not giving him anything in the future that she hasn't run by you first.

And yet, I’ll bet it wouldn’t even EVER cross your mind to give it to someone else’s 6 year old.

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:29

@SummerPeach if it's not medicine, it's not prescribed. Please do explain which element of the US penal code you think OP could get her local law enforcement to raise an eyebrow about!

In the US, the crime is appalling judgement. There's no short supply of that around. OP just has to pick her own path through that, for her and all her family!

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:31

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:29

@SummerPeach if it's not medicine, it's not prescribed. Please do explain which element of the US penal code you think OP could get her local law enforcement to raise an eyebrow about!

In the US, the crime is appalling judgement. There's no short supply of that around. OP just has to pick her own path through that, for her and all her family!

I am saying the parents literally prescribed the medicine themselves to a 6 year old without the parents consent. Illegal. And deplorable and a safeguarding red flag!

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 20:33

There seems to have been a few cases in the US where childcare workers or teachers have been charged with felonies specifically for giving melatonin gummies to children without parental consent.

I don’t know if it varies from state to state, but posters stating that this would not amount to a crime in the US, generally, are wrong.

newyearsresolurion · 30/07/2023 20:34

Wow!!! Only in the USA!!!

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:34

@SummerPeach OMG REEEEEAD the information provided!!!!

In the US MELATONIN IS NOT A MEDICINE! It is a food supplement that is freely available without regulation. Therefore the sleepover hosts GAVE a supplement. They didn't PRESCRIBE anything!

Doesn't make it any less of a terrible idea, but unwedge your panties & provide some comments which are actually helpful to the OP IN THE LEGAL JURISDICTION IN WHICH SHE RESIDES would you?!

ElizaAgainn · 30/07/2023 20:34

Wow! Just wow - at anyone giving a child melatonin in any circumstances. This is the first I've actually heard about anyone doing so ever.......#shocked.

Keyworks · 30/07/2023 20:36

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:37

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:34

@SummerPeach OMG REEEEEAD the information provided!!!!

In the US MELATONIN IS NOT A MEDICINE! It is a food supplement that is freely available without regulation. Therefore the sleepover hosts GAVE a supplement. They didn't PRESCRIBE anything!

Doesn't make it any less of a terrible idea, but unwedge your panties & provide some comments which are actually helpful to the OP IN THE LEGAL JURISDICTION IN WHICH SHE RESIDES would you?!

Nothing you can say will make me go “oh ok that’s fine”. Melatonin is not a good supplement.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:38

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:34

@SummerPeach OMG REEEEEAD the information provided!!!!

In the US MELATONIN IS NOT A MEDICINE! It is a food supplement that is freely available without regulation. Therefore the sleepover hosts GAVE a supplement. They didn't PRESCRIBE anything!

Doesn't make it any less of a terrible idea, but unwedge your panties & provide some comments which are actually helpful to the OP IN THE LEGAL JURISDICTION IN WHICH SHE RESIDES would you?!

Food *

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 20:39

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:29

@SummerPeach if it's not medicine, it's not prescribed. Please do explain which element of the US penal code you think OP could get her local law enforcement to raise an eyebrow about!

In the US, the crime is appalling judgement. There's no short supply of that around. OP just has to pick her own path through that, for her and all her family!

I don’t know the ins and outs of the US penal code, but here are a few instances of people in the US being charged for administering melatonin gummies to children without parental consent:

https://www.greenfieldreporter.com/2023/02/13/daycare-worker-charged-after-allegedly-giving-melatonin-to-children-without-parental-consent/

https://www.insider.com/four-people-arrested-accused-of-giving-children-melatonin-reports-2022-5?amp

https://abcnews.go.com/amp/US/day-care-workers-accused-giving-toddlers-melatonin-gummies/story?id=53536048

JT12 · 30/07/2023 20:39

I live in the US and don’t know anyone who would do this. I have heard of older teens taking it but didn’t even know it was safe for children unless it was prescribed. It makes no difference if it is in a gummy or a tablet form. The gummies are just designed for people who have difficulties swallowing tablets - not as kids candy! I would be absolutely furious and think it is dreadful. I would never dream of giving my children anything without research and doctors recommendations so how dare she do this. I would definitely say something to her and the other parents who had children at the sleepover- your poor child being put in a situation where he had embarrassed himself due to a parent’s reckless behaviour.

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:40

@SummerPeach mhmm, that prosecution references paediatric strength melatonin. Do you know what a paediatrician is? They are a doctor. In the US, strong dose sizes still have to be prescribed by a doctor. The nursery worker was prosecuted for giving out prescription medication - under US local laws about what is prescription strength.

Still not the same thing. I'm not defending the actions of the sleepover hosts in any way. You're just not saying anything the OP can actually use in her specific circumstances I'm afraid.

x2boys · 30/07/2023 20:42

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:37

Nothing you can say will make me go “oh ok that’s fine”. Melatonin is not a good supplement.

Nobody is saying it is but quite what you think the police in America will do.about it is another matter.

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:42

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:40

@SummerPeach mhmm, that prosecution references paediatric strength melatonin. Do you know what a paediatrician is? They are a doctor. In the US, strong dose sizes still have to be prescribed by a doctor. The nursery worker was prosecuted for giving out prescription medication - under US local laws about what is prescription strength.

Still not the same thing. I'm not defending the actions of the sleepover hosts in any way. You're just not saying anything the OP can actually use in her specific circumstances I'm afraid.

I didn’t say anything about a nursery worker ?? Think you are responding to the wrong replies.

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:43

@SummerPeach "Nothing you can say will make me go “oh ok that’s fine”. Melatonin is not a good supplement."

Not my decision - pick it up with the US FDA

GimmeCoffee · 30/07/2023 20:43

Hankunamatata · 28/07/2023 22:48

Wtf I have a child who takes prescribed melotonin. Had to get it specially prescribed from a hospital consultant. I'd be livid. Where did they get it?

This! My daughter’s melatonin had to be initially prescribed by her paediatric consultant and is now on repeat prescription. I wouldn’t be happy if any of my other kids were given a dose at a sleepover or elsewhere by anyone!

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:44

x2boys · 30/07/2023 20:42

Nobody is saying it is but quite what you think the police in America will do.about it is another matter.

I’m basically saying what I would personally do !! And how I’d personally feel. OP is perfectly within rights to feel outraged, upset, and take this further.

SingingNettles · 30/07/2023 20:44

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:40

@SummerPeach mhmm, that prosecution references paediatric strength melatonin. Do you know what a paediatrician is? They are a doctor. In the US, strong dose sizes still have to be prescribed by a doctor. The nursery worker was prosecuted for giving out prescription medication - under US local laws about what is prescription strength.

Still not the same thing. I'm not defending the actions of the sleepover hosts in any way. You're just not saying anything the OP can actually use in her specific circumstances I'm afraid.

That is one of several instances where people in the USA have been charged for giving melatonin to children without parental consent.

Have been trying to post others but my replies with them have been blocked. Worth having a google.

RampantIvy · 30/07/2023 20:45

Regardless of whether it is a medicine or a supplement, the parents should never have given the OP's child the melatonin witout asking the OP first. It serves them right that they had wet bedding to wash.

On another note I find it shocking that parents in the US regularly dose their DC with melatonin to make sure they go to sleep. Is it really in the best interests of the child, or are parents doing it to suit themselves?

x2boys · 30/07/2023 20:45

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:44

I’m basically saying what I would personally do !! And how I’d personally feel. OP is perfectly within rights to feel outraged, upset, and take this further.

Take it further to whom though?

SummerPeach · 30/07/2023 20:46

RampantIvy · 30/07/2023 20:45

Regardless of whether it is a medicine or a supplement, the parents should never have given the OP's child the melatonin witout asking the OP first. It serves them right that they had wet bedding to wash.

On another note I find it shocking that parents in the US regularly dose their DC with melatonin to make sure they go to sleep. Is it really in the best interests of the child, or are parents doing it to suit themselves?

Genuinely SO SO SO SO shocked to learn this too!
like w t a f seriously

x2boys · 30/07/2023 20:47

RampantIvy · 30/07/2023 20:45

Regardless of whether it is a medicine or a supplement, the parents should never have given the OP's child the melatonin witout asking the OP first. It serves them right that they had wet bedding to wash.

On another note I find it shocking that parents in the US regularly dose their DC with melatonin to make sure they go to sleep. Is it really in the best interests of the child, or are parents doing it to suit themselves?

Maybe ,who.knows but it doesn't actually work for a lot of children anyway..

MeandT · 30/07/2023 20:50

UK native comes crashing to earth on first discovering that USA is highly pharmaceutical country with different drug legislation & cultural norms from UK.....I'll keep an eye out for the headline in tomorrow's papers 🙄

Parent realises friends have significantly poorer judgement than they ever hoped or realised, so never sends child for 2nd sleepover with them. Happens every day.

Sorry you found out the hard way OP!