Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Very few people actually need to take extra hormones orally, unless they have a diagnosed medical issue.

Stop with the "but it's not a drug! It's only a hormone" shite.

Well hormones are often used for medication purposes. Insulin for example

But it isn't a drug🙄
And before you start nobody on here has suggested its a wise thing to.do.or that they would do it themselves but its a naturally produced hormone that is supposed to.aid a natural.sleep.rythem, that's what it is its not a sedative .

It’s a drug. Like the pill is a drug, even though it contains natural hormones. Like insulin is a drug. It’s not an illegal drug, but it’s a drug. Perhaps we are having UK / US language differences though, in addition to the different cultural norms about this sort of thing.

Well, you said it... "Naturally produced hormone". Not a reason in the world to pump the stuff into people who don't have a medically diagnosed condition that prevents their body naturally producing it's own supply.

What do you think a 'drug' is?

A drug is any substance the body doesnt have or does have but needs more of that the person takes (or in fact is given to any animal). It can also be something that humans have decided to utilise for fun (mouldy bread spores, alcohol, street drugs etc)

@Natsku

"A one off dose is not going to do that, there's no need to scare the OP."

Maybe I should have been more specific but you misunderstood my response, I was talking about the worrying trend of parents giving this to kids regularly like some kind of vitamin (not talking about genuine prescribed cases) and how it's going to cause issues long term for the children.

HRT contains hormones, wouldn’t be handing out my HRT tablets to my friends as if they were vitamin tablets

You don't understand what a drug is.

Drug - a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body.

(Physiological effect

The physiology of a human or animal's body or of a plant is the way that it functions.

The effect of one thing on another is the change that the first thing causes in the second thing.)

So basically something that causes a change in how the human body functions - like melatonin does.

Where there isn't a medical need to alter someone's natural sleep cycles it shouldn't be taken just to make things easier for parents.

Ah right, fair enough, certainly long term use is not something to be taken lightly (DD was on it for some time but since then only occasionally, when really needed. Luckily a few months of it was enough to help her body sleep like its supposed to)

I would hit the roof. Not joking. Would actually even report it. Absolutely unacceptable to give anything medical to a child without permission. For sure we would go over there and sit down and discuss it. Sincerely would take it very seriously and would not ever trust them to care for my child again

Also in the US, and no, I didn't miss anything. This is beyond prescription requirements; it's about CONSENT.

A police report is a soft warning while discouraging the continuation of such actions.

In this recent case, "charges of reckless supervision" were filed upon arrest.

https://www.greenfieldreporter.com/2023/02/13/daycare-worker-charged-after-allegedly-giving-melatonin-to-children-without-parental-consent/

You're completely missing the point! Would you be happy to be drugged without your knowledge? Where do you draw the line? What if the child was allergic to an ingredient in the gummy?

@Davros

It's not a drug or medication, it's a hormone.

What an odd definition.

Is insulin prescribed to diabetics "not a drug or medication" then?

How about the minipill (also known as the progestin only pill)? Is that "not a drug or medication" as it is a hormone?

the equivalent would be HalibOrange softies, Omega-3 or multivitamins, which we give our kids regularly
Our kids. Not other people's kids. Surely you can appreciate the difference? It's quite concerning if you can't.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · Today 11:50

contrary13 · Today 11:36

Pretty much the above.

My son has only had melatonin once, as a 7 year old undergoing medical tests to determine whether or not he had epilepsy following a TBI - he's 18 now, so maybe things have changed, but he's never been a great sleeper and I jokingly said to the staff watching his brain waves under stimulus that it might be the answer... to be told that although it is a hormone, in developing brains, given as a constant thing, it actually alters the way the brains work. It's much like cannabis, essentially. It's used as an absolute last resort in children and, as my quoted poster says, only if prescribed by a consultant/under certain conditions.

I would be beyond livid if I were you, @HuckleberryBlackcurrant - because the other parents stepped so far beyond certain unspoken boundaries between parents that I'd be surprised if they could even recognise the lines any more! Why the fuck host a kids sleep-over, presumably for their child's benefit, if they were just going to drug the invitees?! If they can't deal with the sleepless night of kids giggling, making midnight snack raids on the kitchen, and only falling asleep when dawn has long broken... they ought not to host a kids sleep-over.

Actually, as dramatic as this sounds, I would be seeking legal advice about this, second-cousin or not. Because your son is a minor and cannot consent, and you - as his parents - aren't happy about what they did. They make their choices regarding changing their child's brain chemistry... you make the healthier decision regarding your child's future ability to make rational decisions. Because that's essentially what it boils down to.

My 18 year old has friends who were put on ADHD meds as children round about your son's age... and they are all coke-heads now, because their brains are chasing the next high. My son, with a childhood TBI, is the most rational out of all of them. He's the kid who calls the ambulance when one of them overdoses, who meets his curfew, whose brain is wired to the best of its ability, because he wasn't dosed up to make my life easier. Because that's what it boils down to. These kids being casually dosed without their actual consent, is to make the "parent(s)" life, or lives easier. And it needs to be recognised for what it actually is.

Assault.

Akin to a woman being roofied, for fuck's sake

How to demonstrate your absolute ignorance about ADHD medication in one post

I don’t know about that. Though there must be many responses to ADHD drugs and their doses, I know boys this definitely happened to just as contrary13 said.

As to the rest of contrary13’s post I thought it important, and informative, regarding what the hospital told her about melatonin.

It’s a medicine in the U.K. It’s a food supplement in the US.

There are many hormones and enzymes that are naturally occurring, but once extracted and synthesised are classed as medicines. Natural =/= safe.

Natural doesnt equal safe???

No one told me that and Im sitting here smoking my tobacco and inhaling opium, both natural substances, Im sure its ok!

😁You’ll be grand. Or at least having a grand time.

Even if it is legal in the US, there’s a line between the choices you make for your own kids vs other peoples kids.
I will let dd in the bath with me, but wouldn’t any other child. Or I will let her watch a movie above the recommended age that might be a bit scary, but cause she’s my dd I can make that call. But I wouldn’t put it on it someone’s kid was present.
Not that I would, but in England it’s legal to give your kid a clip round the ear. If someone did that to my kid I’d hit the roof.
All this debate about it’s the US, it’s legal, it’s like vitamins. But surely there are boundaries in the US too right? Like the same idea of a difference between what is appropriate with your own might be different with someone else’s child?

Op still hasn’t been back to confirm whether she or husband actually bothered to clarify precisely what was given with the parents.

And as for “oh it’s legal”

It is legal for 16 year olds to Smoke but can’t say I’d be over the moon if a friend’s parents suggested she have a cigarette for the first time

@Fraaahnces

That explains why he woke up again an hour later.

@Mummy08m

The mum told me he was asleep within 10 mins.

But it isn't a drug🙄

Yes. It. Is.

Can I make that any simpler?

Y. E. S. I. T. I. S.

And I do wish people would stop rolling their eyes when making statements that are patently untrue.

Wow, so many responses. I do think I was massively underplaying it. We will be speaking to them. They are not at home today and will not have phone service. My husband will be speaking with his cousin to determine exactly what was given and to make it clear we are not ok with it.

I've realized I was wrong to want to avoid conflict at the expense of my son. He needs uis to stand up for him.