Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Benylin? I think it used to have a low dose of morphine to suppress the cough. I have heard of young children being given cough mixture to make them sleep in the 70s. There was actually some cough mixture at that time called Collis Browne which came in a little flagon shaped container and druggies used to buy it to get high because it contained so much morphine. Some pharmacists used to restrict it but not all.

That doesn’t mean anything.

It was an Irish consultant who told me melatonin is available OTC in many other countries, is harmless and should not be a prescribed medication at all!

My 18 year old has friends who were put on ADHD meds as children round about your son's age... and they are all coke-heads now, because their brains are chasing the next high.

please don’t scare monger with false info about ADHD meds. Part of ADHD itself can cause people to be constantly searching for the next high, it causes impulsive, risk taking behaviour, not the meds.

Those comparing melatonin in the US to Halibo orange vitamins in the U.K. I’d be livid if another parent have my child vitamin supplements without my consent.

Kaolin and morphine - apparently it is still available! Basically very fine clay in a suspension of weak morphine liquid, used for diarrhoea.

Pharmacy assistants would be told to shake it up in front of the customer to put off junkies from buying it (takes many hours to settle enough to be able to siphon off the morphine for injection).

Re the melatonin...

DD who has ADHD takes melatonin gummies - which I buy online from the US as it's cheaper than getting them here (psychiatrist is fine with that) - and they work really well for her. They only help you drop off to sleep - don't help you stay asleep.

But nobody should be giving your child any form of medication. How are they to know what else the child may be on, or if they have had an adverse reaction.

In the US it's possibly a bit of a grey area as they don't need an Rx and are commonly used, maybe they feel it's no different from giving a child a can of coke?

I'm a fairly relaxed person but I would be furious

This is really not okay. What a weird thing to do. I’d have to say something and I would absolutely never let my child stay there again.

The police and social services reaction, which so many people are advocating, will certainly be different!

Oh fuck no! I use melatonin and need it to help me fall asleep during stressful periods (I have otc peppermint ones (not in uk). I would not be ok with someone giving them to kids without concent. I do know kids who use them (otc ones) but they've been advised by their doctors. Sounds like lazy parenting to just give all kids some meds so you don't have to deal.

Please don’t ever give your children’s multivitamins to visiting children without checking with their parents. My daughter was allergic to them when she was younger (not life threatening but the rash on her face would have given you a scare). She probably would have declined if offered (if she knew what they were) as she knew she’d reacted before, but as a parent I might well not have mentioned them when running through her food allergies because I would never dream that anyone would give her something like that without saying anything first!
I don’t think it’s so common that other parents would assume the default option is to provide them and that the onus would be on them to specifically ask for you not to.
Also some people are really strongly opposed to vitamins and supplements, especially for children, so you should always check.

Why would anyone take it upon themselves to dole out multivitamins to visiting children?? If their parents wanted them to have vitamin supplements, they'll have already taken one. The bloody nerve of you!

Fucking hell, you would not question your kid being drugged then?!!! Jesus...... Methadone & rohypinol okay too?

This freaks me out about the US. In the UK, melatonin can't even be prescribed by a GP - only a Consultant.

It plays havoc with your natural levels and sleep cycle and should not be given to anyone who doesn't have a medical issue with their melatonin levels.

In the US, they just seem to take them like sweets - and they're literally sweets and not the massive tablets my child got prescribed.

You will be fighting a losing battle with your friendship group on this because it's so normalised in the US but basically your friend drugged your son to go to sleep. Explain to him that it was her fault and not his that he had an accident at her house.

Giving any child medication without parental consent is just not acceptable. Perhaps your friend is just ignorant.

I decided I didn't trust the parent of one of my child's friends and my child understood that we would always be busy for sleepovers or playdates with that friend unless another adult was there.

My DS had a friend whose mum dosed them up with cod liver oil or something similar everyday (she told me that’s what she did). She would never offer it to DS when he was staying over

What?!? My autistic child is prescribed melatonin by the paediatrician. I have never ever heard of children given it at a sleepover. It's a prescribed medication!!

A 1mg dummy is very low for a child though, just saw the update. I would ask her not to do that again but there won't be any serious harm

i appreciate this seems to be common in the us - but there is something very off about wanting children in a deep sleep. She absolutely was in the wrong to give this to any child without parental permission - but it also raises safeguarding concerns that I couldn’t be comfortable with.

i would never allow my child in this home unsupervised again.

Not in America where the Oo.lives ,I mean I wouldn't give it out to.any passing kid either but people do need to read the thread 🙄

Was this Phenergan? I remember this antihistamine being available OTC when mine adult DC were little and it being “known” as a sleep aid for long journeys.

It still is available OTC. The bottle even suggests that it be used to help with sleep issues and travel. While my autistic children were awaiting their paediatrician to finalise their diagnosis and issue her report including recommendation for melatonin prescription our GP advised me to give them phenergan to help them to sleep...

@x2boys
Yes I added another comment when I saw that. It wasn't a big dosage, a 1mg dummy.

I wonder if there have been studies on longterm usage without medical need. My son has chronic insomnia so it's different in his case

My child would never go to that house again.

That isn't how it works, at all. That was likely psychosomatic.

Uuugh, I agree, a ridiculous comment. Stimulants like ADHD medication actually have a calming effect on the brains of those with ADHD, that is the point of them being prescribed.

It's not a drug or medication, it's a hormone. Not that I agree with what these people did or the US culture around "solving problems" with pill popping, whatever is in them