Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Medication should only be given to a child if there is an urgent need, very rarely so urgent you can not check with the parent first if it's OK. No way would a child of mine go there again.

It’s not silly , they gave her child something that made him fall asleep and pee himself , that is not ok

Just seen you're in the US and they're the gummies. Does change it somewhat.

I'd still be beyond furious just for the zero consent but with it being legal, there's probably not much you can do. Be a bit like complaining another mum gave your child coca cola.

The gummies are no where near on a par with the medication my son is prescribed from his paed. For a start off, son takes 7mg a night! There's barely anything in those dummies.

Don't let your kids go for sleepovers again that's for sure.

That may be so but I just meant it's not here. It's regulated although that could be due to expense. We use it under supervision for patients with dementia whose sleep patterns have reversed and are very agitated overnight to regain a more normal pattern.

One thing I'd say though is your 6yo son saying he fell asleep within 10 minutes, and everyone saying it might have been a stronger drug as melatonin takes more like 20-30 - he can't possibly estimate that time accurately. Even if you check the time just before lying down, it's impossible to gauge what time you actually dropped off. And kids are even worse at estimating time.

Anyway that's by the by. These friends of yours are selfish and irresponsible and I stand by that view

A friend of mine took melatonin every night for a few weeks when her husband left her and she couldn’t sleep. She bought it online. When she wanted to stop taking it she really struggled, and had many sleepless nights. I wonder if all these American kids who take it daily will ever be able to sleep without it

Sorry but I’m with your husband on this one. Nobody gives your child medication without your permission, you have to say something to the other parent. It’s illegal to do what they’ve done.

I would be telling the police

Hi @HuckleberryBlackcurrant I agree you need to say something but please prepare yourself that this may end the friendship. I was in a similar situation where someone I considered a good friend drove my children somewhere without seatbelts. I didn’t mention it at the time as generally she didn’t drive them anywhere but the next time she suggested a driving event I said I would prefer to drive them as not enough belts in her car. I put it lightheartedly and tried afterwards to reach out again but she was furious with me, cut me off and gave me the evil eye every time I saw her for months. I have thought it over and am not sure what I could have done differently. I just want you to be prepared for a similar outcome, however lightly you tread.

For people saying ‘it’s a naturally produced hormone’, so are oestrogen and testosterone and insulin, the first two of which have irreversible consequences and the last is fatal in sufficient qualities.

bottom line is that this dc was given drugs and slept so heavily he wet himself, and the parents weren’t consulted. It would be a safeguarding issue in the UK and most UK parents would go to the police.

I’m probably not adding anything here that hasn’t been said before!

But melatonin isn’t a medication, it’s a hormone (otc in the states). I have given it to my very jet lagged children before.

I would never give it to someone’s child at a sleepover; nor would I give it to my own child regularly. It can mess with your body’s natural melatonin release. I wouldn’t even take it myself casually! Only when very jet lagged!

You’re not being unreasonable, OP. It’s terrible that they did that. I don’t live in the States, but do know lots of pills are normalised. But I’m still shocked by this.

Its a,naturally produced hormone

So are insulin, hydrocortisone, thyroxine and levodopa. You're not allowed to give those to people without a prescription either.

Yes, melatonin is available in the US without prescription but the sleep medicine community are working to get it regulated there.

But melatonin isn’t a medication, it’s a hormone

That isn't an either/or. Several medications are hormones.

Wow, OP, this is not acceptable at all!!! I do have a friend from the US who sometimes takes Melatonin herself, when she's having trouble sleeping, but she doesn't give it to her kids.

It's unlikely what she gave your DS would have given him any serious medical issues, but that's beside the point. It's never ok to give anyone else's child any sort of medication without their parents explicit consent. I would have to say something, especially if your child continues to go on playdates at this other house.

I think people are pointing out what it ,is they are not advocating anyone should be giving it out to random kids on sleepovers .

I think people are pointing out what it is

It makes absolutely no difference what it is. The fact that a drug is a hormone doesn't make it safer than a drug that isn't a hormone.

I had OTC melatonin once in the states after an all night flight. Never again. Made me feel so sick.

I can't even imagine the thought process thinking it's okay to drug other people's children with it without their knowledge and permission. What if he'd had an allergic reaction?

If you are going to quote at least quote my full,quote 🙄
Nobody is advocating that its something that should be doled out to.random kids ,they are pointing out what it actually is .

😂

It says online that melatonin gummies are available 1 mg to 10 mg strength.
We give 2 mg as standard, consultant or senior Dr led , short term. It has side effects as it's a drug.

People are over reacting hugely. Loads of kids are prescribed melatonin all the time!

My own child is one of them.

That doesn't mean anyone should give it to someone else's child without being asked to do so by their parents.

But the hype and angst about a prescribed med that is available OTC in many countries just shows that most of the posters have never used it or had a discussion about it with a medial professional.

MNHQ is all over this thread 🤔

Indeed ,my son was also.prescribed it and it didn't work for him
Not one person has disagreed that people shouldn't be giving it out to random kids
But the hyperbole on here is over the top.

It's the principle/concept . Calpol is also over the counter, should people also randomly give it to other people's kids for every ache and pain without asking or informing the parents?
You can get Norethisterone over the counter, lots of women take it or give it to their girls (especially for holidays /special events), it's just a hormone, should people give it to all the girl guests at a pool party?