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Original poster

Child given melatonin without our consent

996 replies

HuckleberryBlackcurrant · 28/07/2023 22:44

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
14
Sceptre86 · 29/07/2023 09:08

I'd be livid but I'm coming at this from a British angle where melatonin is a prescribed drug. In America it us used far more widely and casually than it should be in my opinion. That being said if someone gave my kid any medication without asking I would be angry, unless it was for a raging temperature but in that case I'd be expected to be notified to pick them up. I wouldn't be sending my child there again and I would raise it.

JeandeServiette · 29/07/2023 09:09

Changeling78 · 29/07/2023 09:02

I’ll have a look @JeandeServiette thanks.

YW

lljkk · 29/07/2023 09:09

I was checking our local store. They don't have many brands

That's only part that astonishes me. Supermarkets & Pharmacies we went into (Florida, California, 2022) had huge selections of melatonin & OTC sleep aid herbal remedies. They have more brands of melatonin gummies/tasties than we have brands of suncream in my local Sainsburys in East Anglia.

Gosh, if it reliably put my kids to sleep in 10 minutes I'd use it too, plus on myself. Must be Bliss.

JeandeServiette · 29/07/2023 09:11

The auto-hide is very lively. Are they trialling a new bit of tech?

Zigza · 29/07/2023 09:11

I actually can’t believe what I’m reading. My 10 year old was prescribed this due to a medical issue that caused severe pain and affected his sleep. 1mg at that age is still a large dose.
my little boy would be out within 10 minutes. After 2 weeks of taking it he got dizzy and started to shake so it is not a medication to be taken lightly. On a side note I was prescribed it years ago for sleep issues as an adult, horrible stuff gave me awful headaches and made me feel weird the day after. There are kids that absolutely need this medication but I think parents that routinely give it to kids that can’t voice their discomfort or reactions is shocking

Appleofmyeye2023 · 29/07/2023 09:12

HopityHope · 28/07/2023 22:50

Holy shit balls!
I would be going crazy, that’s assault worthy of talking to the police. Giving your kids medication at a sleep over that’s prescription for an easy life.
There are no words, you can’t under react to this.

In the uk, yea, this is a police matter. Parents would have had to obtain illegally and then to drug your child is assualt

but I’m assuming this is USA or elsewhere where melatonin is given and taken like smarties for anyone who has sleep issues. Even so, even in USA I’d be raising with police. You don’t give children medications where parents haven’t consented and the child is too young to consent - that is still assault in most countries to drug someone

Bodybop · 29/07/2023 09:13

JeandeServiette · 29/07/2023 09:11

The auto-hide is very lively. Are they trialling a new bit of tech?

I was hidden too, then not hidden. I think it’s when someone reports a post. I’d be impressed of there was a facility to auto hide any time someone mentions a word

JeandeServiette · 29/07/2023 09:15

Oh yes mine is unhidden to now. But it was definitely an auto hide. It had the hidden message from the second it posted.

Housefullofcatsandkids · 29/07/2023 09:16

This is awful!! My son is prescribed it but there is no way I would give it to my other children let alone someone else's child!!

cooldarkroom · 29/07/2023 09:20

In France you get it OTC, & probably in the big supermarkets.

Since my Husband had a stroke which has impaired his notion of time, he is up all night, Melatonin prescribed by the doctor does not even touch the surface.
My DD also has health problems, which cause her to wake & she can't go back to sleep. Dr. Prescribed melatonin does not help her either

Thekidsarefightingagain · 29/07/2023 09:24

@Appleofmyeye2023 pretty sure it isn't illegal to buy melatonin if you're in the UK. You just can't get it from the UK without a prescription. But perfectly legal to buy online from other countries. I know doctors who buy it online for their own use.

Oatycookies · 29/07/2023 09:26

Mummy08m · 28/07/2023 23:21

Everyone saying you can get it over the counter, or it's a tiny dose etc...

In my view this is irrelevant. You do not medicate a child unless they are ill. Full stop.

And if someone else's child is ill during a sleepover, you call the parents. That's it.

Are people saying it's cultural in the US to take all sorts of over the counter medication even when you're not ill, for lifestyle reasons? I doubt that's true, but if it is, that is plain bonkers and I wouldn't bring up my child like that.

I don’t have kids and I’d know this is an absolute no- no. Never given anything to my friends kids when I regularly babysat overnight even when they woke up throughout the night.

OP, I used to live in America when I was younger and worked with children aged 7-14 including going on residential trips with them and we’d never have given them anything like this. There were American staff there too and they wouldn’t have either. I can’t imagine they’d give it out to their friends kids.

If a child is ill common sense would be too call their parents and see what they want them to take but in this case your child wasn’t even unwell.

Oatycookies · 29/07/2023 09:29

Forgot to add in reply to the post I quoted above but yes a lot of Americans actually do over-medicate themselves and their own children for these kind of reasons . That is common but what I don’t expect is them to be medicating other peoples kids though. There are some OTC meds there you can only get on prescription here so I stock up when I’m over there lol

PTSDBarbiegirl · 29/07/2023 09:30

Is this a joke thread?!
I'd be down the cop shop reporting these arseholes for GBH.

SydneyJKL · 29/07/2023 09:32

I am shocked that anyone would give their child medicine, to make them sleep. ( unless prescribed for medical reasons). I wonder if these are mainly the same kids who are inactive and on screens all day. Perhaps they then can't sleep?

Scary world we live in.

Weefreetiffany · 29/07/2023 09:34

What if there was a fire or emergency and the kids couldn’t wake up to get themselves out the house? This is akin to drugging and makes me very uncomfortable. America really is a hellscape.

Natsku · 29/07/2023 09:34

Its certainly not a police matter as its a dietary supplement not a drug but I'd talk to the parents (casually, not accusingly) to make sure they know you are not comfortable with your child being given melatonin (or any other supplements) without checking with you first.

Melatonin can cause horrid nightmares (I had to stop taking it because of them, they were so intense) so I'm surprised parents would give it at a sleepover - the last thing you want is a group of children all having nightmares and wanting their mums in the middle of the night!

Verbena17 · 29/07/2023 09:35

Tbh, the OP could have written this thread without even mentioning what the substance was thatcher son was given.

The important thing is that another parent/family member had given the OP’s child something as a supplement without consent - his or their’s. He’s 6, he cannot consent. He didn’t know exactly what it was and therefore had no ability to even say he consented. That in itself is super concerning.

The other thing is that this was NOT an emergency situation - and the child’s parents were totally contactable.

Whether or not the substance was melatonin, is really not the issue that needs resolving.

NowItsLikeSnowAtTheBeach · 29/07/2023 09:36

They drugged your child without your consent.

They. Drugged. Your. Child. Without. Your. Consent.

So they could get the children to bed and not have to deal.

And caused your child to be embarrassed via wetting himself, which could have repercussions amongst his friends.

I would be livid.

And I'd be seriously considering making an inquiry with the police re reporting procedures.

LuckySantangelo35 · 29/07/2023 09:37

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant

why can’t your husband say something to them? Why does it all have to be on you?

FatOaf · 29/07/2023 09:37

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. But melatonin is a prescription-only medicine whose use in children should be initiated under specialist supervision. If the parents weren't people I already knew and thought I could reason with, I'd be calling the police.

JeandeServiette · 29/07/2023 09:38

FatOaf · 29/07/2023 09:37

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. But melatonin is a prescription-only medicine whose use in children should be initiated under specialist supervision. If the parents weren't people I already knew and thought I could reason with, I'd be calling the police.

You really do need to RTWT

Verbena17 · 29/07/2023 09:39

Natsku · 29/07/2023 09:34

Its certainly not a police matter as its a dietary supplement not a drug but I'd talk to the parents (casually, not accusingly) to make sure they know you are not comfortable with your child being given melatonin (or any other supplements) without checking with you first.

Melatonin can cause horrid nightmares (I had to stop taking it because of them, they were so intense) so I'm surprised parents would give it at a sleepover - the last thing you want is a group of children all having nightmares and wanting their mums in the middle of the night!

But now imagine the OP doesn’t say anything and next time her child goes for a sleep over, the mother gives him 2 or 3 or 6 melatonin gummies. Or let’s now imagine he wakes in the night with a fever, is she going to give him paracetamol without asking the OP and infant ibuprofen without asking the OP?

Just because it’s a natural hormone and over the counter, is irrelevant.
The issue is non-parental consent.

Verbena17 · 29/07/2023 09:41

Natsku · 29/07/2023 09:34

Its certainly not a police matter as its a dietary supplement not a drug but I'd talk to the parents (casually, not accusingly) to make sure they know you are not comfortable with your child being given melatonin (or any other supplements) without checking with you first.

Melatonin can cause horrid nightmares (I had to stop taking it because of them, they were so intense) so I'm surprised parents would give it at a sleepover - the last thing you want is a group of children all having nightmares and wanting their mums in the middle of the night!

It being a dietary supplement is irrelevant - what if next time (if @HuckleberryBlackcurrant doesn't say anything), the mum gives him 2 or 3 doses. Or gives him paracetamol or ibuprofen if he says he has a tummy ache etc? Where does medicating someone else’s child stop?