Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Wrong ones!
Giving melatonin to a child that needs it is s very serious decision between parents and a paediatrician. Just because it’s ok in America doesn’t make it ok.

it’s totally and utterly wrong to give a child any medication without consulting with their parents, unless it was a complete emergency like an allergic reaction.

To dose a little child up without telling their parents to get them to sleep is really bad, can you imagine spiking an adult like that in someone else’s house to get them drowsy?

It’s shocking.

It's not the melatonin I have an issue with, it's drugging other people's children when you know nothing of any food allergies, drug interactions etc. It's potentially fatal!

I agree. That’s what I was trying to say but didn’t word it as well.

I was blown away when visited NY and saw a whole shelf of melatonin gummies, lots of different brands. Clearly aimed at children.
i would be less concerned to be honest by another parent giving paracetamol (acetaminophen) for a headache without asking me first than something that is so clearly marketed as getting kids to sleep.
i was stocking up on nyquil and other meds that you can’t get here - for me to take. Was Icked out by the melatonin - naturally would give if medically required/prescribed - but the ease of sedating kids just did not sit right with me.

It's not culturally acceptable to give kids medication that a parent hasn't approved of in the US. OTC melatonin is also not regulated as it's considered a supplement. There has been a small study that the dose isn't consistent, especially in chewable varieties, and some pills were contaminated with serotonin.

OP establish boundaries with this second cousin and don't let them look after your child again.

It's not the melatonin I have an issue with, it's drugging other people's children when you know nothing of any food allergies, drug interactions etc. It's potentially fatal!

Maybe that isn't quite so shocking stateside either. Not sure. When did it become a big thing here that schools wouldn't even give simple painkillers m, or even administer prescription medication to children? We're always told that the US is very litigious so I'd expect them to have similar rules and norms but who knows?

But OP certainly needs to speak up that she's not okay with it.

What's weird anywhere is to hold a sleepover and then go to extreme lengths to get all the children to sleep before 9pm. If you feel the need to hand out melatonin to children maybe just don't hold the sleepover?

If OP or her OH does have a word maybe we'll find out what the response was and then we'll all learn something about child-dosing norms on the other side of the pond.

that’s assault worthy of talking to the police

exactly

you need to take this further OP.

They have literally drugged your kid and you don't want to rock the boat. It's a conversation you need to have with the parents ASAP!
I had to argue with my GP to have melatonin put on a repeat prescription after my neuro consultant had already agreed after a stroke! Take it further.

I took melatonin once, gave me the worst hangover of my life.. and I hadn’t touched a drop.
Melatonin is serious shit. I wouldn’t say anything to the police but I would give this parent a serious talking to/ warning, I’m sure there could be a prison sentence attached to something like this.

I have requested melatonin for my insomnia from my GP and they have refused even a private prescription. It is usually only prescribed by consultants for children with adhd or asd. I think the fact that it’s available otc normalises its use but if a child staying with you had a cough would you medicate them before asking the parent? Surely you would check first in case of allergies.

Quite.

Melatonin is a food supplement in the USA, not a medicine, so all this talk of OTC is incorrect (OTC specifically refers to medicines in the USA, and it’s used as an alternative to Pharmacy-only in the UK).
It’s widely available in supermarkets. In the UK it’s a prescription only medicine.

There are of course mechanisms available for individuals to buy it in the UK, presumably these were the deletions, but it is actually illegal for the sellers to sell it in the UK (because it’s a prescription only medicine). It’s also quite possible for individual travellers to bring back a pot or two.

If the OP was in the UK I think the parent could be in big trouble, but in the USA, probably not. However, the OP is quite justified in being furious.

Same, I would be fuming.

You need to say that any medication or supplement they give to your child needs to be approved by you first. But honestly, until your child is old enough to say no to people who want to give him medication/supplements he's to young to go to sleep overs. I grew up in the US and I didn't start having sleepovers until I was ten. Six is really young for a sleepover party.

You’re not even 1% unreasonable here. What the actual f? I’d be livid. LIVID

I would be beyond fuming!!! Melatonin needs to be prescribed by a Dr and can have side effects. Especially on the first initial doses. It's very concerning this Mum gives it to her own child, let alone others.

OP, you can decline those weekly cervical checks you know, they are of zero benefit and can be harmful.

Please don't confront this mum at church. Pick up the phone! Tell her you were too shocked at the time to respond but that you are really upset that she gave your child medication without your consent. I t makes it even worse that you have all discussed this before so she clearly knew it isn't something that you do.

Not in the US, where the OP is.

Doesn’t make it OK of course.

What?! This is not Ok. You do need to say something. And my dc would never go back there again..

OP, just stop shilly-shallying about.

Your child has just been assaulted, do something before they do this to another child with fatal results.

I’ll have a look @JeandeServiette thanks.

When did it become a big thing here that schools wouldn't even give simple painkillers m, or even administer prescription medication to children? I started teaching in 1985 and we couldn't do it then.

Painkillers that is. There were strict procedures for prescription medicine.

Wtf!! I would be absolutely livid. Sorry you do not give other people's children medication without speaking to the parents. If my dc friends were complaining about a headache or something, I wouldn't give them pain relief without speaking to the parents first. I have no idea of their medical history or allergies. I didn't realise it was that common to give melotin, to be honest. My dc have never been given anything like that.

Absolutely unbelievable. Is this even legal? I would be beyond furious. There is no way I wouldn’t say something. This is insane.

So a generation then.