Child given melatonin without our consent

[HuckleberryBlackcurrant]

DS6 went to his first sleepover last night, at a close friend's house. 4 other kids were there also, ages 6-8.

His friend's mum messaged to say he was asleep shortly after 9 which I found unusual because he would usually stay up later with all that excitement. But I thought that he was just very tired. We have been very busy recently, he has been in swimming lessons and football and was starting a mild cold.

This afternoon when I picked him up it was casually mentioned that the kids were all dosed with melatonin. I know it's super common to do so but our son has never had melatonin, and we certainly would have said no if we were asked.

It put him into a really deep sleep, causing him to have an accident in the night which really embarrassed him.

I didn't really say anything when my friend mentioned this. I was a bit blindsided, and the party was still going on so I didn't know how best to address it.

My husband is really irritated that they went ahead and dosed our child without our consent. Melatonin has been something we agreed not to give our children unless medically directed. He wants me to say something to the parents. I'm inclined to leave it as he's unlikely to go there for a sleepover again for quite some time. I was thinking we could just bring it up if he ever sleeps there again.

My husband thinks that on principle, you don't give a child anything without their parents' consent, so we should raise the issue and set the boundary now. Our children do play there occasionally in the daytime. Usually he is the non confrontational one and I am the one bringing these things up. Idk if it's because I'm 38 weeks pregnant so I just don't feel like pursuing it?

What would you do? Are we right to be irritated?

Wow I am so shocked and a have a DC who regularly takes melatonin ! I would never give someone’s else child medication/vitamins/gummies. It’s not right.

It had a child banned from our house as I let her and my DD have a basic polish pedicure at nail salon downstairs from our flat (12yo - DCs close friend - thought it was a bit of holiday fun and my treat) - but I realised it crossed a line and was not my place to permit this. I felt terrible and the parents never trusted me we with her again.

Great legal mind we have here 😂

This!

I'd be fucking livid!

The police?

Honestly, this is just getting silly now. 🙄😆

Yeah that’s going a bit far

I’ve lived in US for 15 years and have family and friends in multiple different places and have never heard of anyone giving their kids antihistamines to make them sleep, or regular use of melatonin. Apart from jokes about the 1970s.

Considering how litigious people are over here it would be very weird to have someone dose your child with something without asking. Have you confirmed with the parents that they actually gave him one rather than him seeing some of the other kids having it.

This is outrageous. I’d be fuming and be round there to address this. Absolutely no way you should brush this under the carpet

@wordler
My husband plans to talk to his cousin and find out exactly what occurred.

I fail to understand why you think it might be okay because "they were just gummies". The form of administration isn't relevant. If it had been tablet form or liquid would that have made it worse?

Actually quite gobsmacked about this thread

You could at least read SOME of the OP's posts! In only her second one she clarifies that she lives in the US where you can buy it off the shelf in every single supermarket. No need for illegal importation or dodgy batches!

Fair enough

Yes, you should address the issue.
They are friends so you want to keep it nice.
Thank friend, once again, for having your child, apologise about the wet bed and add that he has never before taken Melatonin and could they, in future, please ask before giving your child any medication.

Reaffirm that they have your phone numbers.
Reaffirm that it is safest to check before giving any child medication.
Then end discussion on a friendly note about seeing them soon at sport, having their child over for a play etc.

Over use of melatonin can worsen sleep issues IME

mine is prescribed it along with adhd medications. We only use either when absolutely necessary not every day.

right now my child isn’t on either of these drugs.

we have to take breaks from the melatonin if it’s needed to be used for a week or more. We try to use it sparingly, often only when DC is really struggling to sleep.

its classed as a supplement in the US which is madness imo. But, culturally, they do seem to be more open to taking pills for every issue that the U.K./EU appears to be.

id be furious OP as it can cause issues for people with other health issues and/or taking other medications and I doubt the parent checked to see if there was a conflict of issues there.

On a separate note, from a cultural perspective why in the US is it considered acceptable to give your child melatonin to help them fall asleep?!

It is just a natural chemical already produced in your brain

This is absolutely insane. Considering he could have been allergic for starters. In no way is any of this ok.

It’s a hormone thats produced in response to darkness.

so if it’s Ok to put hormones that are already produced into the body why not give kids leptin so they don’t eat so much whilst you look after them. Followed by the melatonin so they don’t stay up too late either. 🤔

just because melatonin is mostly considered safe doesn’t mean it should be given out like sweets just as the OPs friend did.

Oestrogen is also naturally produced by your body, doesn't mean its a good idea to take it unregulated.

No I don’t think they should have given it without asking to someone else’s child

This can not be real. The thought of someone doing this to my son makes me feel sick. This is absolutely not common. A child could have a reaction to medication and die. These people should be reported to the police, and frankly if you fail to do so then you are complicit.

My son and I both take melatonin and there’s no way I’d be offering it to somebody else’s child.

that’s absolutely appalling.

You should definitely say something. It’s fucked up how many Americans routinely drug their children. No need to be polite because of cultural differences- they are wrong and we are right to be horrified.

Did you read that this happened in the US where this is sold as a food supplement in the supermarket. What do you think the police will do?

Are you sure all the other children have had it before? How do you know that? Or are you just taking the mums word for it?